Family Hates My Pregnancy

8 Replies
Amy_mommy - February 3

i have 14 weeks now and u/s shows i'm having a GIRL. i have an almost 3 year old dd at home. the minute i told my inlaws and sister in laws, they just dont' believe it's a girl. they think they made a mistake. come on, they haven't seen me, they are in china! it's really getting on my nerves that like they don't seem to like my pregnancy because it's a "girl". they keep saying the technician made a mistake & it's too early. i mean, i've had a miscarraige before this and i'm blessed to be having a healthy pregnancy so far. does anyone tell them they're not having boy/girl, just because??????????


rcmiller - February 3

I don't understand really. Do they think having a girl is a bad thing? And besides, let them think what they want, it doesn't change the facts! As long as you're happy and excited about having a girl who cares what they think. They're in China afterall and shouldn't be able to make your life too difficult!


Amy_mommy - February 4

thanks. they are coming in May and gonna live with us. i love my pregnancy and i don't mind it's a girl. it's gods gift from heaven! they think it's SUCH A BAD THING! the first sentence that came out of MIL mouth was "why does our family keep having girls?" like with an att_tude!!!!!!!!! wtf!


clindholm - February 4

How terrible! As long as your baby is healthy how can they not be happy? I would tell them that if they continue w/ the negativity, they can stay home or find somewhere else to stay when they visit. What does your dh say about their reaction?


Amy_mommy - February 4

my hubby says "boy, girl, all the same". they are not just visiting, they are here for long term! getting on my biggest nerves!


^lucy^ - February 4

i cant imagine being in ur condition.. i would flip and just b__w it in their faces that if they dont like having another girl, u havent asked for their opinion!!! i have a 33 months old dd and we're expecting baby #2 in june.. ppl always mentioned that hope its a boy this time and i ALWAYS replied back (health is all what matters, boys and girls r the same!!!!) i cant imagine how ppl favor one gender over the other.. im just so in love with my daughter that i thought having another girl would make my life perfect and make it much more sweeter.. enjoy ur pregnancy dear and give ur dd all the love she needs. dont care about ur in laws and if it bothers u to have them stay with u, ur husband can deal with that im sure. stress is not good for u, we want a healthy beautiful girl to come :) GL in the rest of ur pregnancy


rcmiller - February 4

OMGOsh...That is just terrible. They aren't even living with you YET and already all this tension? Well, I would go with Chindolm's advice and tell them they can find somewhere else to stay if they are going to make your life hell. You don't need that. Your marriage doesn't need that. Your dd and baby don't need that either. And if for some reason they HAVE to come, then I guess all you can do is control YOUR feelings and emotions and just convince yourself that you don't care that they say and think bad stuff. Just completely ignore every neg thing that comes about from them. It will be your saving grace I a__sure you. If you can't do it on your own, seek help from a counsellor or something to help you be strong. Good Luck!


tish212 - February 5

wow, that sucks... so preoccupied with the gender they dont see the gift of another grandchild... it makes no sense... I would also back up what clindholm said and have them stay dont need that in your home, it could destroy your marriage cause undue stress on your children, not to mention dont need that in YOUR home... you and your husband are very wise in knowing that its NOT about the gender- its about the gift of a child period...too bad your inlaws just dont get that. My MIL keeps saying shes sure the tech didn't see the "twin" she swears is in my stomach (which is stupid since i have had 2 U/s already and there is just one perfect lil girl in there) they keep swearing there is a boy in there they arent negative about my having another girl...(i have a 13 month old already) it just gets sooooooo exhausting to listen to it over and over again... if i was dealing with what you are going through i would speak directly to them about how it makes me feel when they say such horrible things and if they refuse to see the error in their ways- then i would have t cut off communication for a while until they realize that it's NOT about what they "want" (which is a boy to carry on the family name i know this cuz my Inlaws want that too) its about the fact that after such a HORRIBLE experience as a m/c you have recieved a gift... I wish there was more advice i could offer but this is what i would do... if i were in your shoes... hug your daughter and your belly for me, for both of your children are the greatest gift possible... (i feel that everytime i look at my daughter or feel my next daughter move) screw your inlaws.... you seem to have a wonderful husband...who feels the same as you ... good luck


TCM - February 5

I don't know the whole story, but I think in this case I think it's gender bias because they are Chinese -- who actually live in China. In the past, having a girl wasn't always a welcome idea. Correct me if i'm wrong, Amy. I know this is a long shot, but maybe they will come around when they get here and get an idea of the culture. Good luck.



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