Has Anyone Else Used A Sperm Donor

9 Replies
sonia989 - February 16

We had no choice, because my partner had really no viable sperm, even with surgical retrieval. I love him so much and I felt like replicating him (so to speak) would be my crowning achievement in life. I love Arron so much. He is the most beautiful and amazing guy in the world. I so badly wated to reproduce him. Every time I look at him, I just think about how wonderful he is and how much I want HIS baby. So although I am happy about the baby I am sad that I will never have my love's own genetic offspring. It's messing with my head a bit. I know you never really know how a baby will turn out, but naturally you try to imagine it. My baby feels a bit like a stranger to me, especially since I had very little info on the donor and had only a few to choose from, since we live in Canada. I know parenting is about more than genetics , and it's not that I don't or won't love my baby. I am already crocheting blankets for him. And he is MY baby, genetically, after all. But still, it feels weird...


friendtilthend - February 16

I have a friend who tried using donor sperm, thru invitro but it didn't take. I also seen a show called baby labs on tv there was a guy who didn't have viable sperm but they were able to remove enough thru his t______e tissue. They got pregnant. Good luck..


lily10 - February 16

sonia, I'm not sure if you were the same person in the first trimester board with this same issue a couple months ago, but i a__sume it is normal to feel like this. I think in time you will feel just as bonded with your baby as everyone else. I bet people who adopt babies can relate to this feeling as well. This will be HIS baby, you'll see you both will love this baby more then anything in the world!! Think of how lucky you are to raise your son with the man you love and consider to be the most amazing guy in the world. I think everything will be just fine. Good luck with your pregnancy!


DownbutnotOUT - February 16

O sonia sweety Im so sorry your still having these feelings and I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better about everything. Maybe if you remind yourself that you and DH picked the sperm out together and he was apart of it and try to think as much as you can on how DH participated in chosing the donor etc. etc. maybe it will help a little mentally with you knowing that I dont know.. Take care sweety :)


suze42 - February 16

sonia, I think what youre feeling is probably pretty normal. as you get closer to the birth and then have that baby, you will bond just like any mommy and daddy. Its so sweet what you say about your partner...but Im sure he supports you. My sis and her DH couldnt have their own kids b/c of his non-viable sperm AND she had only 1 ovary..so they didnt want to risk the cost of in-vitro, and have it not take. They adopted 2 children and have a wonderful family. You will too! Families come about in alot of different ways!!


sonia989 - February 17

I don't want to sound like a bad mother, like I don't love my baby. We did try saurgical retrieval but he had only eight (EIGHT! :0 ) sperm and since I had ovary problems, it was too risky to try that again, cause it might have been my last chance at a baby. I did get preg with his sperm a few months earlier but it was a blighted ovum, and they thought it might have been related to sperm quality, since we only got 1 embryo with 8 eggs. I do feel really, really lucky to be preg with IVF, given it is always a gamble. I know that if I adopted a child I would love it, and I'm sure I will love Alex, too. But I'm just sore that I can never have Arron's genetic baby. I feel guilty just for thinking this. Lily, you're right that I should be happy that I can raise Alex with Arron. that's true. I know he'll make a great dad and probably a lot of his mannerisms will rub off on Alex. We did also choose a donor who had a lot in common with Arron in terms of talents and interests, even though we couldn't find a close physical match. Arron looks like a buff native indian with blond hair and a face like a rock star. There's no one who could even match him in the looks dept, except maybe a real rock star. lol! I shold have asked Bon Jovi if he would help us out.


suze42 - February 17

Sonia, No one thinks youre a bad mommy at all!! And i think its adorable how crazy you are about Aaron...that love is only going to spill over to your son! My sisters daughter,whom she adopted, is so much like her its hysterical. She acts just like her...and b/c of that she looks like her too! Mannerisms are very contagious, so Im sure your son is going to pick them up from Aaron. Its all going to be great!


rainey - March 3

sonia, i am pregnant with donor sperm in my 14 weeks. My DH has the same problem yours does. We have wanted children for so long and this was cheaper than adoption - we did IUI. I had a stillborn last year with a different donor and I got to watch my DH hold our son - he was OUR son as soon as he came out. We both felt that way. I am now pregnant again and scared that this baby will be born still but I know this is oUR child - I think you will feel completely different when your son gets here. They are so precious.


suze42 - March 3

rainey, I m so sorry for your loss! I can understand why you are scared but the odds are in your favor to deliver a healthy baby---Good Luck!


rainey - March 3

thanks Suze. I sure hope so. I know the odds are in my favor but we have never been very lucky with the odds. I also had a miscarriage before and after our son was stillborn. I'm hoping this will be the one!



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