Help Fiance What Fiance

5 Replies
Jane - April 14

I don't get it...My fiance is again just going along for the ride it seems. He's there but not really there...if you know what I mean. I am 21 weeks pregnant, he gets annoyed when I ask him to feel the baby kick, he doesn't enjoy going to our prenatal classes, he has not once offered to make me dinner or breakfast, I have to buy anything and everything I need like mat. clothes, healthier (sometimes more expensive food) and I have to beg him to shut off the tv in our bedroom so I can get some sleep at night and he smokes in front of me after I had to quit for the baby (without his support)...( I tell him to roll down the window or go outside eachtime though) Isn't being pregnant and the costs supposed to be more shared between the people responsible? I just think it would be nice once and a while if he did some reading, asked me how the baby was today or whatever...something....What do you guys think of his support thus far, is it normal or nil...I just can't figure out what is right to expect from my partner...or what other partners are doing to help you guys...


Eire - April 14

Sorry to say Jane but you really need to have a serious chat with him - this is not normal.. you're putting your body through all this for your baby... your as in plural... he needs to realise he is going to be a Dad and when this baby arrives, he will have to nurture and care for it as much as you... that includes before it's born - smoking in front of you is just not on!


tina - April 14

the father of my child was exactly the same he had no interest in the baby and what was going on. i too quit smoking and he would smoke around me. there are not alot of men out there who are fully into the pregnancy because they are not feeling it first hand but come on. well the father of my baby left me at 4 months because i asked him about his behavior. i am better off without him and so is my little pumpkin.


Phoebe - April 14

*grabs Jane in a sympathy hug* Mines is bad, but not this bad... One: It's just mean for him to be smoking right when you are in the room. It's as though you didn't really quit, because you are still getting second hand smoke... For me I know I should care that mines doesn't go to the cla__ses or appointments... but I just don't care... He works every day during the week, and the appointments are usually 15 minutes or so, so I don't want him to take an entire day off work just for a 15 minute visit... We have a three bedroom apartment, and he has one room that he uses as a electronic work room... I never see him because he is always stuck in there... We don't talk, because I think everything has been said over 7 years... unless something new happens. It's like having a roommate... It's cool because if I can't sleep and I want to watch tv I can just go sleep on the sofa and watch tv there... I do have my being black ghetto tantrums and demand things... which is not much. I make a grocery list and say, "Here is the grocery list..." or... "Go buy the mother of your child some food!" He doesn't often make me dinner or breakfast, but I just tell him to get me something to eat for where ever... and if he takes too long I give my silent pull away treatment. Sometimes you have to be a bully, especially when you have someone you can't talk to... then again, sometimes you have to be their mother, as though their mothers never brought them up right. If you have a guy that you can talk to, you need to sit down and lay out the plan... If he wasn't like this untill you got pregnant, then you can remind him. I prefer to go shopping alone, because when I go with him, it seems as though he is giving me dirty looks because I am taking long... I like to linger on an item of clothing for 15-20 minutes, pondering it... *grin* If I do go to the grocery, I buy all the stuff by myself, and then make him bring it in from the car... It's sad... I know that when you are in a relationship you are suppose to do it together, but sometimes it's better when you are independent, and harder when you are not. As for the baby kicking, don't try to grab him every time the baby does it, I would probably get annoyed too... Hopefully you can talk and work it out.


... - April 14

Sounds like an insensitive, moronic, irresponsible kind of a guy. Get rid of him. He's just another responsibilit for you in the future and the baby is already a lot to think about!


Me - April 14

I agree you sound too intelligent for him! I'd be the 1st to tell you to pack and go! Hey you know that actress just did it at 7 months and now she hangs out w/ the girls and shes having a better pregnancy and she is now truely happy too!



You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?