Help My Husband Doesn T Want To Have Sex With Me

6 Replies
Feeling Lonely - November 23

My husband and I have always had a very healthy s_x life. Once I got pregnant things slowed a great deal and in the past 3 weeks nothing. This is also the same time period where I have begun to show. I have talked to my husband about this and he told me that comfortable having s_x with me because he feels like it is intrusive to the baby. He said he knows that it is safe and that the baby doesn't know, but he still feels like it is wrong. We have been fairly open about this, but I just am at a loss as to how he can get past this. I am not quite 4.5 months yet, I don't want to go another 5 months without s_x. He assures me that it is not me, but just as me assuring him that the baby doesn't know if we are having s_x doesn't help his problem, him assuring me that it isn't me, doesn't stop me from feeling unattractive to him. I'm finding that I try to avoid undressing in front of him now even. What can I do??


eeek - November 23

I feel somewhat of the same. My boyfriend was the same for awhile... he has snapped out of it though. He didnt want anything to happen to the baby where he would blame himself... he got over it. I do feel disgusted with myself though... as if it is me looking completely nasty. Its not though. If I were you I would try to not think of it on those terms... its probably not you.


r - November 23

my advice would be to have your hubby go to the doc w/ you and talk about any concerns he may have about hurting the baby or whatever with the doc that may help...or if you enjoy oral s_x that is always an option and that is in no way intrusive to the baby good luck


Drew - November 23

I think you may just have to aknowledge his feelings the same as he would yours. I completely understand you not wanting to go through the rest of your pregnancy without s_x, but at the same time his feelings count too. You wouldn't want him to ask you to do something your not comfortable with. I agree with taking him to the doctors, and keeping him as well informed as possible. And maybe even find a forum like this for daddy's to be. He may feel a little more comfortable talking with other guys who have the same feelings (especially since they don't know who he is) I'm really not trying to be mean at all, I totally see your side. But at the same time, you also have to think about how he's feeling. Good luck, hope you figure something out. :)


k - November 23

My boyfriend and I love the shower together and now he doesnt want to do anything like that it makes me feel unwanted.


to feeling lonely - November 23

Thankfully, my bf is very open & he totally thinks my preg belly is attractive & a turn-on... just as my non-preg belly was. And he doesn't think we're hurting baby at all, which is correct. Maybe have your husband read "What to Expect When You're Expecting." If none of the suggestions from ladies here work for you, there's always masturbation (unless you're a high risk pregnancy). Good luck!


m - November 23

I know what you mean, i was in the same boat as you when we first got pregnant. Once we hit second month, even though wasn't showing or anything different, poor fiancee couldn't do anything because he felt like he was going to hit the baby lol, and the only time we had s_x was when I demanded it as It would have put a strain on our relationship. So that definately wasn't too often. Then at about 4 months, things started to get a bit better again, and then my belly popped out. He wont do anything on top as he thinks we are squashing it. But at least we are still having a physical relationship. Get him to talk to your midwife/doctor so they can explain it properley. I hope things get a better. Oh explain that your worried that he doesn't feel attracted to you anymore, and get some rea__surance. As they all say, a pregnant body is the most beautiful body you can have. Hopefully you get to enjoy it.



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