I M 19 Yrs Old And Pregnant How Do I Tell My Dad

12 Replies
Gaby - May 9

I do not live with my dad, my parents seperated about 3 yrs ago. All of my family knows that I am pregnant except for my dad. I know that he has that idea in his head but he does not say anything to me.Right now I am 19 wks pregnant, but if you saw me you could not tell unless you asked. I am afraid of what his reaction might be since he does not like the guy I am with........ He is always telling me that he does not want me to be like other girls and get pregnant and not finish school. I am a senior and I am going to graduate in June but I do not know what he will say once I tell him I'm pregnant. I also do not want to tell him because he says that what ever goes wrong with my younger sister and I that he will blame my mom. I do not want that.... I guess you could say thats one reason why I do not want to tell him. I would really appreciate it if anyone could give me some advice on what to do.... Thank You.

 

Misty - May 9

I was 19 when I got pregnant..20 when I had my son. I really don't have any neat ideas for how you can tell your dad. Just tell him. He can either be supportive of you or not, it will suck if he isn't..but most likely if he loves you he will get over it because he will want to keep you in his life and he will want to see his grandchild. Yes he might be a bit upset because he might have wanted something else for you, but this is your life to live and you know what will make you happy way better than he does. You are a grown woman (mostly :-)) and this has nothing to do with your mom. If he chooses to yell at her then she should probably just tell him to call back when he grows up. GL. Probably could have said that much nicer, but I don't have much of a way with words today..sorry. GL.

 

tara - May 9

How often do you see your dad? This isn't something you can hid from him forever, he is going to be a grandfather! Since you are graduating in a month or so the school thing is not a big deal. You can also rea__sure him that college/university is in your future plans (if it is) just a year later than expected. As for him blaming you mom, well there is nothing you can do about that, if they separted on bad terms they will always blame the other person for whatever goes wrong. But maybe if you talk to him gently and say there is something important i want to discuss with you and please lets not involve anyone else or claim blame on anyone ... he might listen to you. No question he will be shocked and most likely upset but soon he will get over it and come around. Most of the time parents just need rea__surance that your future plans havn't changed just delayed and you can add in there that you will appreciate his support - it's too late to say whos fault it is and a fight won't chnage anything except drive you further apart from him, but emotional support will go a long way here. Good luck.

 

minx - May 9

Uhm...you're an adult. Tell it like it is--he'll know eventually anyways. And tell him soon. No matter what the circ_mstances are, it's a sign of respect that you tell him.

 

Steph - May 9

By what you said I think you should just tell him. He sounds somewhat like my father and he'll just have to understand......this is your bady and your decision. He's not going to care for it correct?!?!? It's your baby and you love your unborn so you go girl....GL :o)

 

Amara - May 10

Since you are graduating in June and it's also fathers' day... you could get him a card for grandfather... and put an ultrasound picture it it... He will see that you made it and graduated school reguardless.. June is almost here...

 

Mari - May 11

I'm 20 and 3 months pregnant. I was living in a one bedrm apt when I found OUT I was pregnant. See, I was daddy's straight A college bound eldest daughter, with a great athletic background and HIS workaholic personality..."telling him I was pregnant" isn't somehting EITHER of US (him nor I) everuy THOUGHT about (I was always TOO careful except for this 4 week fling I had with my best guy friend)- But when the time came to tell my dad I was PREGNANT, for some odd reason HE was the ONLY one i felt confident and comfortable telling- (I guess deep down I've always know that his strict tough dad att_tude was only HIS way of protecting ME which reminded me that he would ALWAYS want to and have to love me). He hated the guy who got me pregnant and today I do too (even though he helped give me this little miracle). I moved back in with my dad (for the financiallly support) and suprisingly he see so much happiness and excitment in his eyes whenever we talk about his FIRST grandchild. Tell YOUR dad- you might be suprised to see a "gentle reaction" than you expect.

 

Gaby - May 11

Thank you for the advice. I did talk to my dad yesterday and it was exactly what I had expected to happen... He told me that if I would have told him two two months ago when I was not as far along in the pregnancy that he would have made me have an abortion... He also said that he would do have done whatever he could to put the guy who got me pregnant in jail, because I was still a minor. I told him that if he did the police would ask me if he made me do anything that I didn't want to and I would say that he didn't... He also told me that I should just forget about going to school because there was no way that I could keep on going and take care of the baby. He told me everything that I knew he was going to say to me. He even told me that he made my mother have two abortions because he did not want the baby. I do not believe in abortions and I believe that if you get pregnant that it is a blessing from God and you should cherish it. Now I do not trust my dad I feel that he will try to do something to me so I lose te baby and I do not want that...... I really appreciate how you have listened to what I have to say and on what you all tell me. It really does help me to know that I can talk to someone. : )

 

Misty - May 11

Hell Gaby, sorry to say this, but your dad sounds like a real jack-a__s. And you are no longer considered a minor when it comes to s_x as soon as you turn 16.

 

Misty - May 11

Ah yes, and you can still go to school if that is something you want, don't believe him for a second that you can't. Like I said before I had my son when I was 20, I started going to college to be a paramedic about a year ago. It is on hold right now because I can't go while I am pregnant, but you can do it. Lots of women do. Grrr, I am so mad at your dad for talking to you that way. Somebody should knock some sense into that man.

 

Gaby - May 11

Thats the same way I feel about my dad. I knew he was going to react like that when I found out I was pregnant....

 

amanda - May 11

hey Gaby i just wnated to send you a great big HUG((((((((()))))))))))) I hope all works out and if you need to take abreak away from your dad then do that he has no right to tell you what youcan and can not do with your body>>> You are an adult !!! good Luck !!! Let us know what you're doing and how the baby is doing !!!!

 

Tammy - May 11

Gaby, When I was 16 I got pregnant. I was so petrified of my dad's reaction that I hid it from him for 6 mo. When he found out he told me that I was done going to school until after the baby was born, I was giving the baby up for adoption, and was not allowed to got out of the house until "this is over". I was not allowed to even tell my best friends. (my mon really had no say). It was absolutley the worst time of my life. I was going into my senior year of high school. It's been 27 yrs since that time an it still hurts. You can do anything that you put your mind to. It would be really great to have family support. You will need it but if this is the path that you want....go for it. Hopefully dad will come around. When he sees that little baby, maybe he will change his mind and see that if he supports you your goals can be accomplished. Good luck.

 

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