If It S Not One Thing It S Another

10 Replies
KrisD - May 19

Hi - I don't have any friends that have had children and this is my first... So I don't have anyone to compare things with. It seems that, if it's not one thing it's another with this pregnancy! First, I always seemed to leave work early or call in sick with horrible morning sickness, then it was headaches and migraines. Between all the doctors appointments and 'illnesses' I seem to get, I feel like I am leaving early from work at least once a week. I can tell my boss is very fed up, and has even mentioned that there is no reason why a pregnant woman can not maintain a 40 hour work week (which I know PLENTY do)! Is there anyone out there that seems to be in my boat? Or am I really outside the norm here? I feel like I should suck up any 'symptoms' I have and stick around work no matter what my problem is. Is anyone going through this?

 

Desiree - May 19

I know EXACTLY what you are going through... my biggest problem is that i just don't feel like working ever, i just dont ever seem to feel up to par.... it sucks..... my boss right now is very cool with it.... but i'm switching jobs next week and i'm not sure if they will be.... i just can't wait to have this baby.... i probably won't have to work but part time after I have the baby... but being sick at all and going to work just sucks.... i guess we just have to suck it up and deal with it.... i wish there was a job out there ideal for pregnant women... well i guess there is as a stay at home wife.. but not everyone is that lucky! good luck.. i hope your situation gets better!

 

ES - May 19

Does it count that I just hate my job?? And to boot I am too chicken to call in sick. The AC is broken and its 80 degrees inside and I am swelling up life roadkill every day and I am too chicken to call in sick. I want to quit but my husband thinks I should stay until I deliver. My boss has turned into a jerk and I work 50 hours a week and I have never needed off and he still acts like a jerk. Then to boot they are making me work more starting June 4. And I am 31 weeks pregnant.

 

KrisD - May 19

ES - that does stink. Can't you keep it to the 40 hours? That sounds like too much. With my hour-and-15-minute commute, I am dead tired after only 8 hours a day! And I like the job, but hate my boss. She doesn't even care that I am pregnant. The day I came in after finding out we were having a boy, she never even asked about it. People were popping in all day long to find out, and she never even said a word to me. I just told her that I was not feeling too well and she told me that she needs to leave early today so I can not. Well, guess that answers my question.

 

Tigerphoenix - May 19

Ohhhhhh How I know what your going through. I have had the worse morning sickness and insomnia. So I was calling in at least once a week and leaving early nearly everyday (what is the point of being at work if your either falling asleep at your desk or in the bathroom). I had my boss tell me a couple of weeks ago to " Toughen up" I was furious! He has a wife who has had three kids and is completely on my side. Im getting the moodiness to so next time Im probably gonna tell him off. The best thing I can tell you is if they are so up in a tiff about it. Go to work and have them have to deal with you. They can't fire you because you are pregnant. Try asking your doctor if there is any meds she can put you on. Mine put me on Zofran and I have been able to work but not do much else. When I get home Im so tired that I just go straight to bed. I know its hard and I deffinatly feel your pain. But just keep this in mind, if it were a man who got pregnant they would whine like babies.

 

SE - May 19

I know exactly how you feel. I am lucky enough to not work but I have plenty on my to-do list yet I have spent many days just laying on the couch unable to do anything. I would really love to know how I compare with others. Are my symptoms really that bad or, like you said, should I just suck it up like everyone else, get my hiney off the couch, and do some work? Do other women have an easier time or are they just not complaining about it? In any case it makes me feel like a big wimp. I can't believe how insensitive your boss is being. Perhaps he/she needs a little education on pregnancy. In any case, the only thing we can really do is honor our own feelings. I figure one of two things is happening. Perhaps the other women we see bouncing off to work without any effort really just have easier pregnancies and if that's the case then why would we torture ourselves trying to keep up? Or the second case is that we are truly wimpier than others but I'm not sure I want to push myself just because I SUSPECT others are being braver than me. I get things done most days but I (guiltily) let myself rest if I'm feeling especially bad. Are you planning to continue work after the baby is born, or do you just need to make it through the pregnancy? I hope your boss doesn't give you too hard of a time. It is very insensitive of him/her.

 

Heidi - May 19

If you have the sick time coming, they really shouldn't say anything to you about it. I know how you all feel. My first trimester was horrible. Many days I barely made it the last hour of work. I'd just sort of sit here and suck on suckers so I'd feel a little better. I had a few appts during work the first trimester and I felt bad missing work and wondered if my boss was going to panic. It's bad enough he freaked cus I said I'd be on maternity leave. DUH! He's like, oh god how long???? Legally I can take 12 wks but my fiance and I are going to work something out so I can come back a couple weeks in between while he stays home and then I'll come in during the evening hours and catch stuff up cus I have no backup to help me out or knows how to do my job. That's the only sucky part. When I'm gone all hell breaks loose and I feel guilty and worried they're going to replace me but legally they can't. I've been here almost 7 years and rarely call in sick so I think I deserve the time off without and grief. Now that I'm in my 2nd trimester I've scheduled all my exams after work and I'm not sick or get headaches anymore so I don't miss work now. After my m/s went away, I got headaches and those were the worst. I'd call in sick a couple hours in the morning and then feel bad when I'd come in, like they thought I was faking it but I still had the headache all day! It just sucked. I know what you're all going through!!!!! Hang in there! 2nd trimester is WAY better.

 

ES - May 19

Well I don't have the protection of FMLA so at first I was thankful they were keeping me but now I am just ready to quit. I hope I can make it until July 1. I am going to email my boss today and ask if I can stop working July 1. I am due technically July 25th but they are probably inducing on July 13th so my husband can be in attendance. I might just get another job part time after the baby. Our problem is we needa new car and I want to save as much money as I can so we can get something nice. We are really needing a 4 door.

 

KrisD - May 19

I hope you can leave on the 1st, ES, that does not seem unreasonable. My husband keeps saying "You're pregnant for God's sake, of course you can leave early!" It sounds so simple when he says it. Then I sit here, green around the gills, afraid to say anything to my boss. Is your husband in the military, ES?

 

Carol - May 19

ES - Why don't you have FMLA - an employeer can't refuse to give this to you unless you have been employeed there for less than twelve consecutive months at the time you need to leave.

 

ES - May 19

FMLA does not apply because of the size of my employer. And yes good guess my husband is in the Air Force and he is due to leave right beofre my due date like on the 22nd and he will be gone for like 2 weeks. That part isn't bad its just we tried so hard to have this baby and I don't want him to miss it and I don't want to be alone. I am just like you Kris sick and afraid to sa anything. I just heard from the car dealership and it looks like they are giving me the price I wanted so at least I'll have new wheels this weekend. HOPEFULLY! Nothing fancy though it a Hyundai Elantra. I am just excited for the new car smell. My boss has expanded our hours so instead of 50 hours it will be 54 hours and that's if I never have to stay late. I am so mad. That starts June 4th. Ugh... I wish I was at home. On the couch or in the yard weeding my garden and playing with my dog.

 

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