Not Married Yet Babies Last Name

22 Replies
Rachel - August 5

Im not married yet, and have been talking about this with my boyfriend, we are wondering what last name to give our baby, should he/she use my last name til nathan and I get married, or should we use his. Both last names are a pain, cause not many names go with them. "Read" and "Beard", any ideas ?

 

baby.ksh49.com - August 5

Not married YET? you plan on being married right ?? And are pretty sure this guy is the one and where you'll be forever right ?? If so i'd go with his last name.

 

Rachel - August 5

Yeah, we are. But not right now.. Gonna wait a while. I love him, and I know he loves me back, I want to be with him forever, and he just confirmed with me, that he wants to be with me forever. Thanks for the advice.

 

Nik - August 5

I wasn't married when I had my first child but gave my son his dad's surname as I knew we would marry eventually. Any way got married last year and now we are expecting again so we will all have the same surname other wise our children would have had different surnames! Any way I think it's important that children know where they come from. Good luck making your decision x

 

SRG - August 5

I am 26 weeks pregnant....and my boyfirend and I have been together for many years, we will get married sometime after the baby is born, I plan on giving the baby his last name. This way once we do marry all I will have to do is switch my info.

 

AD - August 5

If it's his child, give the baby his last name. It doesn't matter if you're married or will get married or don't get married.

 

Steph - August 5

My girlfriend wasn't married when she had her son, but was still with the father and they are now getting married in October, she gave her son the father's name. But on the same token my other girlfriends boyfriend died before their little girl was born so naturally she gave her daughter her last name. I would go for the father's, even if for some reason you aren't going to end up together, he is the father and hopefully is going to stay active in your childs life. If necessary you could always change it legally later in life also - just some thoughts.

 

Wanda from NM - August 5

In most US tradtions I know, it's the father's last name that the baby uses, regardless of whether you are married or not. Granted, when the father isn't around at all, some mothers chose to give the baby her last name, and that is fine too. If you plan to marry, or at least if the father plans to be a part of the child's life, then it's a no-brainer, give him the father's name. FYI, if you aren't married, the father will probably have to sign paternity papers to get his name on the certificate, so check with the Vital Statistics (or whichever department handles this in your area) and find out in advance what needs to be done.

 

been there - August 5

I was engaged before I even got pregnate with my first. When she was born I decided to give her his last name since we would soon be married and have his last name anyway. We ended up splitting and I have always regretted giving her his last name. Especally since I am pregnate again years later by someone else. I have been asking myself the same question this time around too. Even though I am engaged to the father this time too I am leary of giving the baby his last name until we are actually married. I have also been considering using both of our last names hyphenated or something. I'm still not sure.

 

CSA - August 7

I'm not married and I don't plan to be. Both my children have his last name for a lot of reasons. I have my father's last name and he is a jerk. I wish my mom would have given me her last name. Their dad is around and I was proud to give the kids his last name. It's all about you and what is best for you. There will be a lot of people who scream "Why aren't you married?" because they think that that is the way to go. It doesn't matter. The child was conceived out of love . My children were. I don't know if he will be around forever but he will still be their father. Good Luck. I hope that whatever decision you make you are happy with it. All he had to do was bring his DL with him for ID and his name to be on their birth certificates. You can work the rest out later.

 

tex - October 12

i agree - i am the father of a child out of wedlock -mother and i went to court once agian spending $ we dont have court wants to hyphenate -which is ridicoulous --what if they marry some one else w/ 2 last names what a joke mr and mrs. smith -jones-henry-dowd

 

Lisa - October 12

If I was not married to the guy I would have my last name as their birth certificates, not his. If I got married to him later I would go through a name change. It's not that hard to do.

 

Lisa - October 12

It's easier as well for travelling purposes regarding your pa__sports.

 

Kaeli - October 13

Hi Rachel, I am having the same problem. Prior to me getting pregnant, we had talked about marriage. And we are very much in love. However we are not engaged. What I have decided, (and he knows this) is when the baby is born if we are at least engaged, our son will have his last name, if we arent, he will have my last name. I asked him after I said that what he felt about it and he actually thought that was pretty fair. So good luck to you on whatever you decide!!

 

Rachel.R - October 13

Kaeli, thanks for replying. Yeah, we have both talked about things.. and he has told me that he is going to do something special for me, for going through all the hard work, he wont tell me what it is... but he has hinted engagement. So im going to go with his last name.

 

Kaeli - October 13

Rachel- Good choice! And good luck! I wish nothing but the best and hope it all works out for you!!

 

sara - October 13

I used both last names just put - inbetwwen them then you can use which ever one you want

 

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