Strange Question About Baby Showers

7 Replies
hello - October 5

hi, this is a sensitive questions for me. But it has to do with babyshowers. I am not from the US, so the concept of baby showers are relatively new for me. hardly anyone of my friends have children and the ones who do have close family members around who thruw them a shower. well, my situation is such that my family is in my home country, my best friend moved back to my home country, my in-laws live on the other side of the country. my other close friend is very broke. i have had two friends say that if no one throws you a shower, let me know and i will. but how embarissing is it to go and tell them that noone has officially offered to hold my shower? one friend said something about oh we have to plan your shower, so when i said something like are you serious, (we have only known eachother for a year) it got kind of awkward, and then she hasn't said anything else. further questions: who pays for the shower, the food etc? what do i do to thank the person (hopefully something happens)? I have no problem with a very casual shower, and i don't mind helping financially either, or I am supposed to pay for it? Everybody keeps talking about the shower that i am going to have, but no one has really said, let me hold the shower for you. i feel really weird! i am 19 wks, so is it maybe to early or should someone have said something by now? I have a bunch of friends, but none is my best friend at the moment. if someone can give me some input that would be greatly appreciated!!


randi - October 5

freinds can through a shower, normally thats the tredition anyway, no your not supose to pay for the shower but if a friend needs a little help maybe you could give a little for food. Ive asked my friend if she wanted to throw it and she does and now everyone wants to help its not rude, most people enjoy those things im sure things will work out good luck and God bless


Jackie - October 5

Interesting predicament. Here is a suggestion. My husband is of a religion that doesn't believe in baby showers and is a little uncomfortable with the idea. However I happen to think they are great and my family always has them. DH thought is was his job to plan the baby shower and throw it. Of course my mom is throwing it. However would it be so terrible for your husband to throw the baby shower for you. At least suggest it to him so that he can get the ball rolling with your friends. You'll see how quickly your female friends will jump in to pitch in (because lets face it most women jump at the chance to show a man how to do something the right way. I wouldn't even be surprised if your friends offer to take over the whole party planning). Your husband will look like prince and your won't have to worry about the whole baby shower thing anymore. Just a thought.


kr - October 5

Randi is right, your friends will love to give you a shower. And Jackie's idea about your husband starting it going is great! The nice thing is your husband can honestly ask them for help. Go ahead and have him offer to pay for expenses and your friends can offer a lady's touch. If that doesn't work out smoothly your husband can offer to foot the bill for a girls night out. You and your frineds can go out to eat and celebrate. By the way, showers are generally held in the last trimester, but it is never too early to plan.


RL - October 6

Just to let you know my best friend asked me to throw her shower and I felt very honored she wanted me to, I had not asked her cause I was not sure if her mom was going to they live very close to each other but it really worked out nicley in the end so just choose a friend you feel close to and ask her if she minds...she will feel good you asked her!! And you can always ask if she needs help with food or anything like that....


Petra - October 6

You may have put off the friend who said "we need to plan your shower" by saying "are you serious?". A year is plenty of time to know you enjoy a friend's company and want to do something nice for her. She might have thought that you DON'T want her to plan it. Talk to her about it. Make it a casual get together that you both plan.....tea and munchies with some other gals you enjoy. No biggie to have a gathering like that, right? The only difference is that you'll get some baby goodies, as well as an afternoon of women enjoying each other's company. Take a breath and don't get too flustered about it!


Hello - October 6

thank you all for your input, i feel better about it now! i will ask my friend who offered and we will do it together. thanks!


Petra - October 7

Good for you! Have fun with it!



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