Who Should I Let In The Room With Me Drama

2 Replies
Tjane - March 21

Well I will try to make this as simple as possible but I am a very wordy person but I was seeing someone for a couple months and we broke up, when we broke up I began sleeping with my ex( just s_x, we broke up because he was cheating and verbally abusive to me for 5 years, and I know I know I know, I shouldnt have gone back and dont know why I did but its done now) I got pregnant by my ex and now 4 months later have began seeing the first person i referred to again. Now, I am having a scheduled c-section in July and can only have one person in the room with me and I have no idea who... The father of the baby wants to be there but I dont love him and it would be only because he is the father ( and if I do that how would my man feel) I told my mother before I was thinking about letting the father be in the room with me and she didnt care because she understood but now that I am back with the other guy and he is being completey supportive and loving I dont know how she would feel if I chose him and not her since he isnt the father?First off am I being selfish to not allow the father just because I dont want him there and 2nd off would it be wrong for me to chose my "newly back boyfriend" instead of my Mom? My mother does so much for me and my daughter but so does my boyfriend since weve been back together. I wish I could just have them both!!!!

 

mcatherine - March 21

My friend was in the same exact boat two years ago. She choose to ask her mother to be in the room, having her boyfriend wait in her room and the father wait in the waiting room (to avoid confrontation bewtween the two). On her instruction -they called the father back to see the baby first (after all, he was the father) and her boyfriend to recovery to sit with her and then they brought the baby in to see them both. It worked out well and there were no tempers lost that day. It's a tough situation and feelings are bound to get hurt no matter how you handle it. Good luck and congrats on the little one!

 

Been There - March 21

I would say that this is a time when you need someone to comfort you, not just be present. So I would rule out the baby's father since I don't think having him there will be a comfort for you. Your mother may want to be there, but she will have to understand that if you choose to have your new man with you, it's your choice. She'll still see the baby. But you still have to make the decision between the two. Maybe the three of you could sit down and talk about it. But, definitely leave that abusive guy out of the picture and in the waiting room. That's stress you can do without.

 

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