I Want A Baby But My Husband In Not Sure

2 Replies
BabyBump - November 11

On our first date, my husband mentioned he wanted four children. Although at the time, I was hesitant even about marriage, the idea was appealing. Since then, several things have changed. My husband was diagnosed with diabetes. He has to inject himself with insulin every time he eats, and he has to make sure his blood sugar levels are maintained at healthy levels (or suffer consequences-shakes, possi, which may sound like an easy task, but he really hates the limitations it has imposed. He also "lost" a child. (He dated his former girlfriend for seven years, and he became a father to her child in every way, except legally. He was even involved in the child's life after they broke up and we started dating. He was asked to stop contacting after his ex-girlfriend got engaged.) Although I can understand why, I feel like I am also suffering. I want a baby, but because of my husband's health (which there were already other problems when we got married) and his hurt, I can't seem to convince him. One of his main fears is that he will die, and I will have to be a single mother. After seeing how much his ex-girlfriend struggled, he does not want me to struggle with it. What's worse: About a month ago, he suggested we try (without any prompting or hinting from me.-He has just known I would like to.) We prayed about it, and I basically got so excited because I didn't think it was something he was ready for. But that same night, he backed off and said he just wasn't ready. I want to be supportive, and I understand all of his concerns, but now I hurt so much, because I would love to have his baby. I grew up in a single parent home and understand the struggles, but I also know far too well the many blessings. I should be scared. I've been so scared to take on any responsibilities my whole life. I haven't even wanted a puppy for that reason. But, I think I am not because I am ready. I am also turning 28 next month, and have my career. My husband has a very successful business, and I believe it's time. I am also worried about not being able to conceive right away because my mother struggled so much and had several miscarriages before myself.

 

Grandpa Viv - November 12

If he is so concerned about his survival, let him buy a nice life insurance policy. Is he overweight and with chances of controlling the diabetes with lifestyle changes? Tell him your understanding of the marriage was that it would be productive, and you want him to live up to that - you will handle the consequences if necessary. Finally, children are our only stab at immortality. Te will want to know he is leaving something behind. GL!

 

rpats - November 13

Also- even a perfectly healthy person can pa__s away at any time... you just never know, and cant live your life with the fear that you will pa__s away and leave your child/wife behind. If that is the case, will that also stop him from buying a house to not leave you with a mortgage payment? I know he is looking out for you, and that is really sweet- but he has to live life in the now.

 

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