Should We Keep Or Or How Do I Convince Her

1 Replies
darcy_1234 - February 24

I'm a 22yr old 2nd year university student. and my girlfriend and I just found out that we are pregnant. She is the same age as me and also in her 2nd year at university. We've been together for over 3 years, living together for almost 2 years, and while we may fight and argue enough we both love each other immensely and I know we will end up marrying each other. The problem we are having now is should we keep it. Shes a part time student and a full time worker, but at a job that really doesnt pay her much. Im a full time student and a part time worker, but I have a really good paying job. So between us we have one decent pay coming in. So money is a huge issue about whether we can keep it, not that we wont be able to afford having a baby (Im sure both our parents will provide us with some support), it just that we know we wont be able to provide this baby with the type of life we have been dreaming of and hoping to give it. As well maternity leave in Canada just doesnt provide that much, and since she is the main bread winner it could be a hit. I absolutely love child and have been dreaming for years about the day I will become a father. I know I will be an amazing father and she will be an amazing mother. I just have to convince her we're ready. Like I only have 2 more years of university left and the child would be born with only 1 and a half years left so its not an absurd amount of time. It also helps that I have a very stable and comfortable pay career set up for as soon as a graduate, so it would be rough for a bit, but not overly long. Her concern is the money as I said, as well as stress. I am the type of person that gets stressed easily. I have trouble enough balancing my school, work, and personal life as is (I HATE university, but need to finish it). Shes afraid that having a child will push me over the edge and might cause us to break up. Without the school factor this wouldnt be an issue. So we're going to sit on the idea of this for a month before we decide 100% whether we are going to keep it or not. Right now I am really entertaining the idea of keeping it, since life isnt perfect and we just have to deal with the cards we're given and I would simply love to be a father. But at the same time, I know shes right, it would be a lot of stress for me and us and would really try our relationship. I know we will be financially broken during the time as well. I need help sorting my thoughts and deciding if we should keep it or not. And if we should, I need help to convince her we should, since after all in the end it is her choice (her body, her choice). Please I would love your stories and your words of wisdom, just please dont mention religion I dont accept that as a reason for keeping a child, I only want logic. :)


19yroldMomma - March 1

This is a very tough decision and what my intentions are to do is to give you options and ideas that will be good for you :). I am 19 years old (in the Air Force) and my boyfriend is 23 neither one of us is educated and are in the process of working on school, we get a lot of supportive benefits from the Air Force but,sometimes it's tough to come by money for two people in the civilian world trying to afford a baby i can imagine this would be much tougher to do. There is support out there for you too though! :D ! (WIC) Women Infants and Children. They support you with groceries (not much though) throughout pregnancy until your child is 5 yrs of age, you have parents who might be estatic to help you through these tough times, let them spoil you and give you what you need. Not everything has to be brand new for your baby, certain items can be used and its best to do it this way because babies will grow out of the brand new things you get them EXTREMELY FAST. All you really need are the basics for now and please YOU ARE NOT ALONE, there is help out there. I'm also sure talking to a counselor at your school could possibly help, they MAY have a program that helps with parents who have family or are expecting at school and they could give you sources on places to go for support with finances and material. Affording a baby isn't easy but is possible on low budget if you absolutely believe you will not be able to keep the baby consider adoption, it's really your choice i'm not saying your girlfriend has no right to terminate but I recommend keeping the baby alive and using adoption as an alternative, you'll give the baby an oppurtunity at life to make a difference for themselves and others, plus depending on how far along she is, you have to remember what is inside of her is a miracle you have more chances of hitting the lottery than to have the same chance you two have. a__sure her all is going to be well, and if you are truely ready to be a father show her. Take steps to educate yourself and get ready for the coming of your new baby, encourage her to eat healthy and emphasize how important she and the little one are to you, she may just consider keeping the baby with just that sense of security alone. Volunteer your time to daycare if you have time, show her you are nuturing and can be trusted. Once again, YOU ARE NOT ALONE chances are you know people and if they are true friends and family they will help you get through this tough time. This is possible for you to keep the baby.



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