Want To Have A Baby

5 Replies
I want to have children!! - September 15

I im 23 and have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, we own a home together, and both have good careers. I want to have a baby, but everytime I make a subtle comment about it, he just shrugs me off. I don't have the courage to just bring it up, and talk about it. But I really want to, should I write him a letter, so its easier, or should I just become brave and talk about it. I know he wants kids, but I don't want to wait until I am 40, to get the guts to talk about this!!! Oh yeah he is 27. Also, I talk about getting married all the time too, and he just kinda laughs and says yeah someday!!?? I know that things wouldn't be any different if we were married, because we allready live together, but how do I convince him otherwise, and I don't want any advice that says leave him and find someone who wants to get married now and have kids. I love him with all my heart, and won't do that. This is tearing me up inside. How do I bring this conversation up, without him thinking, I am just joking. Thanks so much for your help

 

omar - September 15

mol morokko

 

To "I want to have children!!" - September 16

You've been together five years and he shrugs off and laughs off comments about marriage? You need to have a "talking to" with him. Do not write him a letter- this is something you have to discuss face to face. I have a feeling that you may be afraid to do that because you think he may tell you that he doesn't want to get married. The thing is, you need to know if you two want the same thing. I would hate to see you spend a few more years with this guy and it turns out that he has no interest in marrying you. Sit down with him one night and tell him exactly what you want. Then ask him what he wants. If he doesn't want the same thing (i.e. marriage and children) I am sorry to say that you may be better to break it off with him. When I turned 30, my then-boyfriend and I were togther for about two years. We discussed buying a house together, but he kept wavering and telling me to just move into his house. I had my own condo- I wasn't going to just sell it so I could shack up with him in his house. I wanted a commitment. I told him that if he didn't know what he wanted after two years of dating, then he'd never know. He said he was not sure. I broke up with him since I felt that I deserved to be with someone who wanted to be with me, and not someone who was forced into marrying me. I told him that if he wasn't sure, it was okay, but that I wasn't going to stick around to see if he was going to ever "get sure." Two weeks later, he asked me to have dinner with him and he proposed. We have been married about 10 months now and are expecting our first child in November. Just remember, if you decide to set an ultimatum, you have to be ready to accept that you guys may not be togehter when it is all over. I was so unhappy with my guy's wavering, I was at the point where I would take being alone and without him over continuing with things as they were. Whatever you do, don't threaten to dump him as an atempt to get him to propose to you. That is coersion, and that is not how you want to enter into a marriage. In any case, you deserve a man who wants to be with you and does not laugh at the prospect of marrying you, especially after five years of being together. Sit down and have a talk with him. See where you really stand with him. It'll be tough, but I think you need to do it. Good luck!

 

DeAnna - September 16

No ones going to buy the ice cream Subscribe yourself to those baby magazines, and say "oh this is funny, it must be some mistake" Then flip through the magazine and point to a baby, see isn't he cute? I wonder what our child would look like? Baby do you think we are ready to be parents? When? Why? ~You get the point. I think that it is better to know where you stand. Be open about it, also about marriage. You've been with this man for 5 years now, how much longer does he need to know that you are the one for him? Good Luck to you. Best of luck.

 

DeAnna - September 16

Forget the ice cream part, I was chatting with my cousin! LOL

 

Mary - September 30

I think you should talk with him about getting married first, than tell him your feeling about having children. I am married, I get pregnant but it ended up in a misscarriage. One thing you can do is pray to God for answers and if your boyfriend is not right for you, god will tell you.

 

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