I Just Need A Little Venting Here

23 Replies
Rhonda - June 23

Hi,I am a full grown woman who is capable of making my own decisions,so why on earth do i need some one sticking their nose in my business?I am talking about my sister,she only has one child and dont think anybody should have more than 3.Well she just found out im pregnant for the 5th time,and she called my house and left a message on the answering machine saying,you dont need more kids,you need to have yourself fixed,it's rediculous that your pregnant again,all you need is more kids to take care of.Also my 16 yr old neice just had a baby and my sister told me this as well"You know when your neices start having babies then it's time for you to quit"So what dose that have to do with me having kids?Dose anyone else have some nosy family member who dont think you need any more kids?My sister is this way about everything and im so tired of it.We have argued over this shit in the past and once resulted in us getting into a fist fight(i lost)and i was even pregnant at the time.Me and my fiancee are clean people,well my sister was at our house once when my fiancee had just gotten home from work and he was real sweaty,and did not take a shower yet,well after she left she started telling people my fiancee stinks,said he smelled so bad it made her sick to her stomach.He worked for a moving company moving people in and out of houses,it's a hard sweaty job.And she is married to my other sisters exhusband,her neice and nephew are now her stepkids.She has really upset me and i am not far from tears.I cant understand why some people have to be so freakin nosy.I dont need to be stressed out.I have had 3 m/c in the past and one of them was from being under too much stress.Thank you for listening.


staci - June 23

Wow! Sounds like you need to cut all ties with your sister. I mean I know she's your family, but I wouldn't put up with it. She obviously doesn't care about your feelings or your condition. You don't need this stress right now, just leave her be in her miserable little world, and go on with your wonderful life and pregnancy! Congratulations by the way!


staci - June 23

Oh and sorry if that sounded a little to hasty saying to cut all ties with her. It's just what i would do especially while being pg. good luck!


Rhonda - June 23

That's the same thing my fiancee said.But my mom lives with us because she cannot live by herself,and my sister calls to talk to her.But always has to nosy in my life.I take full responsibility of caring for my mom by giving her medicine to her,taking her to the dr,keeping her out of a nursing home.And well neither one of my sisters will ever offer to help me with her.And the one is not even grateful i care for our mom,has never once thanked me.But i am just so hurt over her saying i dont need more kids,and it is rediculous.Im just tired of her trying to run my life.I have a whole list of c___p i have had to put up with,and im just so aggrevated,why cant she be happy for me,instead of always running her mouth.I dont know why she thinks she is so perfect,and i am such a screwup.I do appreciate your listening and any advice you can offer.


kvilendrer - June 23

I would say the same thing. You don't need that in your life right now.


staci - June 23

Rhonda, I just wanted to tell you how wonderful you are to care for your mother! I work with seniors, and that is our business, to give non-medical care to them so they can lead independant lives as long as possible. So I know how hard it is on you! We see so many like you whose siblings do not help or act like they could care less what happens to their parents. You have my respect that's for sure! Oh and to answer your question on why she can't just be happy for you, it's more than likely because she is jealous that you are so happy in the life you lead.


meadow - June 23

Sounds like she is a bit jealous of you so she has to put you down. A way of making herself feel better about herself maybe? Sorry girl, that must hurt to hear all that from family. I bet if you told her to avoid talking to you unless she has something good to say, she would get the hint. Congrats on the pregnancy by the way!


nanders - June 23

Rhonda you are right, you are a full grown woman and it's your decision to have as many kids as you want!!! I myself want a large family too, I have soo much love in my heart I think i'll be a good mum to lots of kids. You really need to put up some boundaries in your relationship with your sis. my sis and I used to fight horribly, we finally had to adopt a can't say nothin nice don't say nuthin at all - keep your opinions to yourself policy. Sometimes it's hard to do, but we try and it's helped. if your sis won't do that, then keep your distance and take care of yourself and that baby!!!! Remember all that matters is what you think and how you see yourself, and by reading your entries on different threads you are a kind person, that tries to help others, so who cares what she thinks!!!! Take care.


Rhonda - June 23

Thank you all so much for the kindness.I hate to sound so pathetic,and so whiney but i am so stressed.It's hard for me to just ignore her remarks.We are only half sisters,we have different dads,and me and her have never been very close.She is married to our other sister ex husband,and is getting a job as a flight attendant,just got back from a wks vacation to mexico(which is what her main goals were)And she still aint happy.Taking care of my mom is a full time job,and at times it can be hard,but i love my mom so much i would never put her in a home.Also my dad died of cancer two yrs ago,and she never liked my dad,and never once told me she was sorry my dad pa__sed away.She seemed happy about it.And that is because her dad and my dad did not get along.You would think your own sister would be one person that would be on your side,and not against everything you do.I just need to find someway to laugh it off.You do have a point though,she could be jealous because she could only have one kid,but wanted one more.thanks again.


shalyn - June 23

Rhonda now that you explained the whole story I can see why you are mad. It definitely sounds like she could be jealous and misery loves company. DO NOT let her get you down. Sometimes its better off just to let her out of your life for a while. Not to say that you'll never speak again, but you don't need the stress right now. People make mistakes in their life and then feel as if they have the right to speak on how others choose to conduct theirs. It is none of her business! you have children who love you and will probably bend over backwards to make you happy. I'm sure that's 10 times more rewarding than her good for nothing opinion. And yes, you have been extremely supportive to many of us on this forum including me. For that I thank you very much because you don't usually find people who care that much for strangers. You are awesome!


huddie - June 23

Rhonda, I am soo sorry your sister is acting like this...I know it is horrible when your family kind of turns on you and I know you wnat her to accept your decisions..but I kidna feel like everyone else does..I think she is jealous of you and your family...You have to live your life for yourself and not her she needs to realize that!! Were behind you sister!!


Rhonda - June 23

You guys are putting a smile on my face as i type this,thanks.I just cant let go of how she is acting.I never call her because everytime i talk to her she gets nosy.If she wants to talk she calls us.My other sister is nothing like her.I just wish she would stay out of my business if she cant be supportive.How can you be happy about being pregnant when you have someone who is telling you how wrong you are.I love kids and i have plenty of love for all of them,she just dont understand it.Her only kid is 15yrs old.And my sister is 37yrs old going on 12.


LN030905 - June 23

Rhonda, i agree with all of those other women! Your sister is jealous! She knows that your doing the right (and loving) tihng by taking care of your parents..she has only one child while u are blessed with 5! Maybe you should just try to ignore her...talk to her if she calls but just be "hi, how are you? hows ur d/s or d/d.. and tell her u have to run" or dont talk to her when she calls...perhaps email her everyonce in a while to see how she is. Congrats on ur pregnancy! sounds like the lil guy or girl is coming into a world where thy will have a great mother!


Rhonda - June 23

Thanks,she is not the type of person to talk to because she likes to scream and hollar,and act like you are the biggest idiot on earth.She is the type of person who wants to voice her opinion but not accept others opinions.My other sister disowned her for awhile,because the nosy sister was trying to break her and her boyfriend up.But you girls have been wonderful,and i appreciate it.I just needed someone who would listen,because my fiancee is so mad at her he dont want her back at our house,but she comes here to see our mom sometimes.So it would be hard to stop her from coming,because she might try to take my mom away from me,or my mom would be upset because she loves that stupied bi#ch.


snugglybugglys - June 23

OMG sounds identical to my SIL! When I got prego with my twins, while on birth control by the way...she goes " oh my gosh what are you going to do....you are going to go crazy blah blah blah." Then I got prego again while on bc 3 months after again ( I talked to you on the c-section board)...anyway yet again...all negetive...."what are you going to do now! You NEED to get your tubes tied Aimee....I can't beleive you are going to have 4 kids in 3 years!" All rude...I go well I can handle my kids so it doesn't really matter....and I'm not getting my tubes tied yet. " well I hope you DO decide to get them tied...this is ridiculous." She is just crazy in general though, so I don't know if this is similar at all, but yeah I know what you mean about family not wanting you to have more kids. I mean who do they think they are. I don't freaking swear at my kids like she does! She is the one that is ridiculous. She calls her daughter a "f-ing little who--! And her son an A-hole. And she has the nerve to tell ME to get my tubes tied! Geesh! Anyway, sorry had to add a vent at the end their...got me all p__sed again thinking about it. :)


Frances - June 23

Girl, if you have room in your heart you can find room in your house. I probably would NOT be able to find room for such a judgemental person masquerading under the t_tle of "family". I would have to agree with all the ladies here and suggest that you give her some walking papers! Everyone has the right to choose the size of their family without others using their opinions against you. On that note, congrats on your newest pregnancy!


Rhonda - June 23

SnugglyBuggly,yes she dose sound alot like my sister.I am just so tired of her looking down on me like she dose.I tried to be a good sister to her but she always put me last in her life.I dont see what the big deal is just because we want to have children.I just dont understand why people have to be that way.I look at it this way-it's your life it's your choices.



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