Lesbian Relationship TTC

18 Replies
WannaLittleOne - November 26

Okay, please don't judge or hate! But I have been in an almost 2 year relationship with another female and have decided to start a family a couple months ago. and it's NOT easy. When I first went to the doctor, I was very nervous to tell her I was trying to conceive, and my situation. But she said my situation is FAR more common than anyone thinks. I have a sperm donor, and we do this the "natural" way, not inseminations or anything. It's just extremely hard for me, because I'm very irregular, and our donor is not available as often as I'd like for him to be. We bd anywhere from 2-4 times a month, and that's it. I'm getting to the point where I'm worried, am I ever going to succeed at this rate? Would it just be easier if I were in a female-man relationship? But we have put so much into this relationship, I can't see leaving her just because I want to start a family. I always wanted it to be with the right person, and I feel I have finally found the right person. It just so happens to be a female!!! Anyone going through a similar situation, or know anyone who has/is?


jennifer_33106 - November 26

Have you considered going to a sperm bank and trying IVF? It is pricey but worth it. Also, If you do not have any fertility issues, are you charting your BBT? Are you using OPK's? Are you monitoring your fertile signs? If you can manage to BD during ovulation then 2-4 times is enough. Have you talked to your doctor about your irregular cycles? Also , even if somone comes on here and bashes you screaming it is not Gods way yada yada, ignore them. In my opinion God looks at whether or not two people love one another and NOT is a homos_xual relationship! Love should be the issue here. I hope you can start your family and remember there are so many options out there and getting pregnant was never easier.


jennifer_33106 - November 26

Opks, would be the best thing to try considering your irregular cycles. :)


WannaLittleOne - November 26

aww what a doll you are! I do agree, it is all about the love really. And that is definitely there!! I have considered sperm banks, but I just don't have the money for that. I've heard it can cost a couple thousand a month. I'm well off, but not that well off! I started using the clearblue easy fertility monitor in Sept, but never got af in Oct and then this month I got an incredibly light "period", no flow, and it says to start it the day you get your red flow. I am going to start charting my BBT as soon as I get my normal flow. (don't you start charting the first day of your cycle?) I wanted to skip charting, so I don't know much about it, but it seems like it's the way to go, along with the monitor. After all I did pay a lot of money for this monitor and have only been able to use it one month so far!


chriswife - November 26

options are great these days. I have a patient and her and her partner started as foster parent and now she is adopting the two babies they had. unfortunatly her partner pa__sed away. but they did get their babies that way.. They are now 2 and 3 years old.


jennifer_33106 - November 26

You know, I woudl ask your doctor to check to see if you are Ovulating. She may put you on provera to induce a period and may suggest the clomid challenge to you as a way to regulate your cycle as well as see if you are Oing. You may want to try Temping first to try to pin point an ovulation day but again it may be hard due to irregular cycles. But either way there shoudl be a temp shift whn you O. Do you know how long your Lutheal phase is? a regular one is inbetween 12-16 days but can vary. Anything under 10 though is considered abnormal and needs to be looked into.


WannaLittleOne - November 27

My doctor subscribed Progesterone to start my period, so I could start charting and using the monitor. She said she wanted to wait on the clomid and fertility drugs because then I would be risking on having multiple babies., I just kinda laughed 'cause I certainly don't think I'd want that! I just know that my cycle is normally 40-42 days, somewhere around there.


WannaLittleOne - November 27

I said "subscribed", lol I mean PREscribed... its been a long day haha


Grandpa Viv - November 27

Good luck. I hope your doctor pointed out that with a 41 day cycle, ovulation is most likely around day 27, and insemination in the several days prior is the best bet. Does your partner have a brother who would donate some of her genes?


wannalil1plz - November 27

aahah i had to look twice for a second i thought i posted this and was going crazy that someone had logged into my account hehe!!


WannaLittleOne - November 29

My doctor told me to start testing with OPK's on day 11 for some reason. ?? And no, unfortunately my partner doesn't have any brothers. She only has sisters.... I think I may try a sperm bank, it'll cost about $369 for one vial and shipping... but I am sure I'll need more than one vial. I just hate spending so much money, not knowing if it will even work.


Grandpa Viv - November 29

Sorry about the lack of brothers. My wife's sister was in your situation years ago, and the brother cooperated. I guess asking her dad would be too weird! Good luck!


Macy - November 30

Hi, WannaLittleOne. You have so much courage. I think any child born into a loving relationship is blessed, your baby will be OK. Good luck to you, I sincerely hope that you will be successfull.


jennifer_33106 - November 30

Im so glad no one jumped on here and started quoting scriptures or trying to run someone off. Makes me glad to know that this forum is full of non judgemental people! :)


jamers - December 1

Haha, yeah Grandpa Viv, asking her dad would probably gross me out! Thanks for the support guys... I'm really shocked I haven't had to read any "haters" responses yet!! Give it time, lol... I would almost understand if someone did come on here and have arguments, though. Because even I have wondered if this is right. I have always wanted to have my own family - mom, dad, and child. Not so much Mom, "mom" and child. I just happened to find the "love of my life" and its a female. It makes it much MUCH easier to conceive when you are in a relationship with a male also. This is extremely stressful on me. My partner gets upset, and jealous, and wants to wait and all this other stuff. Then other times she's ALL for having a baby. (me carrying) It tears me apart, because I want it so bad I can't see even straight.. I always just think to myself, "if she were a male, I'd just end up pregnant here eventually, but instead I have to plan it all out, time it right, contact my donor, we fight and it seems like it will never happen" She'll be delighted when it does happen, for sure, it's just all the arguing and jealousy it takes to get to it. :( :( :(


anamariaflorencia - December 1

Hey, did you change your screen name? It went from Wannalittleone to jamers. Hey, I'm not quoting scripture in the way you might thing, but you might find it interesting that Sarah and Abraham where in a similar situation. Sarah was having trouble conceiving and wanted her husband Abraham to have a son, so she gave him her maid-servant to have s_x with. They had a child that was supposed to belong to Sarah, not the biological mother. Lots of jealousy insued and ultimately the son and his mother got kicked out of their village and into the wilderness. The whole time I was reading your situation I was thinking, how does your partner feel? If I were her, I'd have so many mixed feelings, but probably the one that would override it would be jealousy. I would want to know if you enjoyed having s_x with this man, if I should worry about where are relationship stands, if you'll start having feelings for him, etc. I think it would drive me nuts. And what will his role be after your baby is born? Is this guy a mutual friend? Sorry for all the questions.


nola-gal - December 1

best of luck to you! if it helps, my pregnancy was unplanned, but i know what day i conceived because i thought i was getting my period. i was SOOOO WET with cervical mucous, and now i know that that is a sure indicator of fertility. my period was late and i had already taken tests, so i figured it was af coming on. nope! it was ovulation time. so the next time you feel like you need a pad becuase of all the CLEAR STICKY DIscharge, call that sperm donor (bless his heart) and get ready! good luck miss! you and your partner will make great mommas!



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