My Husband Refuses To Get Excited

5 Replies
Angela - November 30

my husband is reluctant to celebrate our first positive result because he said he doesn't want to get attached to something we might lose. I guess I am writing this for 2 reasons - does anyone else have a husband like this and can i hear from a few of you if you told people right away or waited and how successful your 1st pregnancies were... thnks:)

 

Deb - December 1

It's normal to be apprehensive in early pregnancy, miscarriages are very common. About 1 in 5 pregnancies will end in miscarriage. I am eight weeks pregnant right now and my husband and I decided not to tell anyone until I was almost through my first trimester. We are going to tell our families at Christmas (I will be almost 12 weeks). This is my first pregnancy and so far it is progressing well. I have had a lot of nausea and fatigue, which my doctor said was good, because that means that the pregnancy is going well. I didn't get any symptoms at all until about 6 weeks. Maybe approach the celebrating in a different way, like celebrating the fact that you can get pregnant and don't have fertility problems. Give him some time, he will come around. It is still a shock to him. Once he sees how the pregnancy is affecting you, he will become more supportive. Hope this helps and good luck! BTW, when are you due?

 

Angela - December 1

my last af started october 26 and ended november 2 - so i think i am due in august. how about you?

 

to angela - December 1

First of all Congrats!! you know it's up to u and ur dh on when to tell people. But ask urself--would u tell them (heaven forbid) u had a miscarriage? if u say yes to that--than just let ur immediate families know--tell them u r waiting to let anyone else know until ur 3mths. If i'm preg. this mth.--i will be around 9 wks. (2nd try only) at Christmas time (had a m/c at 9 1/2 wks. in May) by that time i would have a u/s to confirm the baby's heartbeat and be ready to tell just our immediate families at the time. then i am going to wait to let anyone else know until i am 3 mths. Good luck!!

 

Holly - December 1

Angela I have been there. My first preganacy in March I was so happy about, but my husband was reluctant to get excited. I had some problems with low rising HCG and at 7 weeks it turned out that I m/c. I got pregnant again and had a faint positive. I was so excited, but my husband wasn't because he was afraid that I would be a mess if something happened to this baby. He didn't want me to tell anyone. He was reluctant to tell anyone too. Finally I talked him into telling our parents. He said ok and he would do it, but I turned out telling them myself. When we first saw our seed at 10 weeks the baby started becoming very real to him and then as time went by he started talking to it all the time. I am now 22 weeks and for the last few weeks my husband talks to the baby and says, I can't wait to see you soon. They come around. I think they worry about our mental health because they know it is something we really want and if something goes wrong God forbid, they feel helpless. I rememeber my husband was totally heartbroken over the m/c and not because of the baby because although it was very real to me it wasn't to him yet. He was upset because he felt helpless in my grief over it. Give your husband time. Once he sees that baby moving around on your first real sonogram he'll be hooked. Make sure he goes with you on those appointments. It will change everything.

 

suzieQ - December 1

Men are logical usually. Give him a few more weeks and he'll kick in. Especially when he's sees your 'symptoms' more - like a moving belly :) For women, we are immediately connected to the baby for many reasons. It's harder for men to get it, and it's not your husband's fault. I've had 2 m/c's, not to get you down, and both time we started out not excited but ended up getting excited anyways.

 

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