The Sadness Of It All

8 Replies
Aimee - May 19

I have learned that signs are not something to go by. I had every pregnancy sign under the sun and I wasn't even trying. I had veins all through my br___ts, stomach, legs, arms. I had acne bad. I was moody. I was irritable when I am usually happy go lucky. My br___ts were sore constantly when touched. I had brown discharge a week after s_x. I had it all. I was so bloated. Had gas. Constipated. You name it I had it happen. Test after test was negative. Here it is 3 months after I had s_x and although I still have the veins everywhere I have decided there is no possible way for me to be pregnant and still not be aware of it. It is sad once you build yourself up only to be totally shocked. I "knew" my body. I was pregnant. I had three short periods after this and while they were different, I have given up on thinking I was ever pregnant to begin with. Signs, signs signs. Maybe a hormonal change. Why does this happen when we are trying to conceive. Good question. I wish you all the best of luck but really.....signs to me aren't anything anymore. I am so disappointed. In the future until I see a positive on a home urine or see an ultrasound with the baby inside, I refuse to even buy any sign that comes my way. So upset and aggravated. But things happen for a reason when they are supposed too. Keep your heads up. I am trying to get mine lifted again. Bye ladies.

 

kathy - May 19

i agree---the mind makes us believe alot of things---do you knew howmany of us those for those famous signs but it ia all in our heads....and plus all this stressing over these signs probably make us late or miss our periods and then ---thats it !!! we think we are pregnant when we are not !!!!!! good luck to all and god bless !

 

Chriss - May 19

Kathy and Aimee, totally agree!!! I believe that most of the signs symptoms that we all "think" we experience are all in our head. Because we are ttc we become hypersensitive to every little pain, flutter, etc. For god's sake, I never really looked THAT closely at my bbs before ttc so OF COURSE they look bigger or my aeriolas look browner or whatever. I try not to read very much in anything that my body is telling me anymore because whatever ache or pain I may be having, could be from something else and if it leads to a BFP, than that's fab, but until then, I am just counting days, doin the deed ALOT and hoping for the best Good luck to you ladies, and things will happen for you when you least expect it!!!

 

shannon - May 19

I know exaclty what you mean. I have been going through the same thing and it is soooo frustrating when you think you have all of the signs and then get a BFN. I have been ttc for two years and it is consuming me. I am not sure what to do. I think I need to take a break but even when I do, I still get get it out of my head. I am so upset and getting depressed but don't know what to do about it. Nothing seems to work - I just can't stop being obsessed and it is starting to upset my husband. Do you have any suggestions?

 

Chriss - May 19

Shannon, this is just my opinion but is it possible that because you are so consumed by ttc that this may be the only reason why you haven't been successfull. You really should try to STOP for a while, no reading, no discussion boards, no calendars, no BBT thermometres and no CM or Cervix checks, just lock everything away for the summer and then start back fresh in a couple of months using everything that you've learned in the past two year. I really do believe that information overload is our downfall, we read everything we can get our hands on about what to do to be successfull and when it doesn't work we keep trying different things instead of modifying the things that we were using. Speaking for myself, I find it has become more about being successful to get pregnant than it has about a baby, it's easy to lose site of what is important and I think that I did for a while, I really did feel like a failure because we hadn't conceived yet and I so didn't want to be a failure, but I wasn't thinking of the little miricle that was supposed to be the important part. 2 years is a long time, but unless a Dr. has told you that you aren't able to conceive for some medical reason than it's just a matter of time and luck. I think for myself, if we are not successfull this month, I will stop trying for the summer (but not go back on bc) and see where that takes us. I hope that this helps and please don't feel frustrated or depressed, everything happens for a reason! Good luck to you!!

 

Nicole - May 19

hey ladies. I, too, and FED UP. I've been trying for almost a year now. Every month I think I have symptoms.. take tests.. af ends up being late (probably from stressing over it) ..so I continue to take tests thinking they are wrong until af finally shows. I'm so fed up. Today I tested even though af isnt due until tomorrow. I used clearblue easy early and, of course, a BFN!! (negative) I've been so depressed because of this. I wanted to break into tears when I got the results because I was so sure I was this time. Sore bbs, headaches, cranky, slight nauseau.. All my friends are just popping out babies left and right.. half arent even planned.. I cant even stand to see them anymore because it just kills me so much to see them pregnant.. or to see their babies. I need a vacation!

 

Paula - May 19

Hello Aimee, I just wanted to answer your post and offer a gleam of encouragement. I know that it get disappointing at time, even down right heart-breaking if you discover you were prego and m/c, but we through these things for one reason and that reason is more than enough to continue. Don't give up. My problem is not getting prego, but staying. I have had 4 m/c, but I just keep my head up that no matter how many disappointments come my way m/c, bfn, or whatever, the event of motherhood is so much better and it's worth it. Sending mult_tudes of baby dust to you all who want to give up. Don't give up, don't give in be encouraged.

 

bump - May 19

bump

 

BL - May 19

A missed period is not the only sign of pregnancy. Is is the sign to be cautious of. I have skipped a month here and there, but never three months. Spotted two months and stayed on 2 weeks this month. It is not in my mind because I was not trying to pregnant. I never thought that hard about it. I know I did when I was young and I never skipped a period. I did not believe with a neg. urine test that it was possible to be pg., but there are people who say it is possible. I have talked to these people do not listen to the doctors. They do not put things together. I have a weird af,swollen stomach with the line negra. Alot of weight gain. I feel something kicking(can't say it is a baby because they say I am not pg.). Is that all in my mind. If that is than it is in alot of other people mind because they felt it to. My mom felt it the first time yesterday and said you are not pg I don't what it is. My sisters seem to think it is weird since it is not a baby.I know how gas feel. It feels like bubbles and it makes you break wind, but these kicks are starting feel uncomfortable especially when I lay down it really do it than.

 

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