This Is So Frustrating

156 Replies
Nell - February 8

Well I am actually 21 and I am ready to have my first child. I am not planning on having anymore than one for a few years. A woman knows when she is ready or not. DH and I see it more as it will happen when it is suppose to happen. I was just getting a little jealous seeing as everyone I know is getting exactly what I want. My time will come when it is suppose to come just as all of your times will come as planned. It may not be our plan but God is definitely planning it for all of us. Good to meet you all!

 

Lin - February 8

My question was a genuine one. What's the rush? Why are you girls in such a hurry?

 

Frances - February 9

I was 23 when my son was born. I am now 28, dh is 31. I don't feel that I really missed out on anything, especially considering that my friends were pretty much just getting into trouble then! When I got married it wasn't too terribly different, really. We still did all the things we did when we were dating. Things were quite a bit different when my son was born though. We weren't trying to get pregnant and we were using birth control at the time, but we were totally excited just the same. I guess that just goes to show that God plans these things whether we are with the program or not! Blessings! = )

 

Lin - February 9

Have you seen the world? Gotten a college education? Have you seen much of *your own* country? Have you lived more than a few hundred miles from where you grew up? Have you had any life-changing or world-view-changing experiences *besides* having children? My point is that yes, of course things can go well either way, but if you wait you can have the best of both worlds.

 

Nell - February 9

I just want what I have always wanted a family. I am happily married I want to be able to keep up with my children. I am in no hurry like I said it will happen when it is suppose to happen regardless of the circ_mstances. I have great faith that everything happens for a reason. BTW I never wanted to go to college and I still don't. I lived in the caribbean for 2 1/2 yrs. I partied hard and I have done some really stupid stuff. I found the man of my dreams and all of this within the last 4-5 yrs. I am a Vegas girl we advance quickly in life.... honestly I am behind most of my friends by a few years most of them got married and pregnant in Highschool. I am not saying I don't want to see more of the world because I do.... but I plan on taking my family with me this time. ;-) BTW I am a legal a__sistant and I don't even have a diploma so how is that for not having a college education? Funny how people a__sume you need all of that to go somewhere in life... get some experience and anyone will hire you. I have never even been asked if I have a diploma let alone a degree of some sort.

 

Lin - February 9

Not everyone needs a college education, so long as they are responsible and educate themselves in other ways (but not doing so is irresponsible). However, I disagree with you on the purpose for a college education. It isn't about getting a job, even though millions of youths are unfortunately led to believe so. It's about the education and the experience.

 

Nell - February 9

The experience.... getting wasted popping pills to stay awake long enough to party and go to school and do your homework. I have seen enough tv and known enough people in college to know what the experience is about.... now the education part. I see no point in going to school paying thousands of dollars in debt to get a piece of paper that may or may not double your income. If I wanted to do that I would just go to one of those online schools get the education and not pay out the a__s for the rest of my life to meet my goal. In college you take a bunch of meaningless cla__ses that have nothing to do with your major to get a degree in something that you could have gone to a vocational school for. I have a job and I am very responsible. Do I feel as though I have missed out on something? Absolutely not... I may change my mind later on down the road. I think that people learn the most through experience there is only so much you can get out of a text book. Honestly you can learn more off of the internet. As I am sure you yourself have especially about pregnancy than you would find in any one text book.

 

Lin - February 10

I'm not trying to push anything on you, but you're being incredibly disrespectful to the hard work of others by saying that a formal education is about getting drunk.

 

Nell - February 10

No i just meant I am not interested... and you may want to read back on most of that because I was not trying to be disrespectful. I was stating what I knew. I don't know where your from or when you were in school.... but in this day and age things are different I am not saying all people go to school for the parties and driking.... but read the news they talk about how college students of today go school mainly to party and do drugs. Most of them take pills to stay awake. Look it up. They have had more than one story on the news about it. Not only that I have friends in college that quite frankly I really don't hang out with much anymore because I have better things to do rather than get wasted like work, pay my bills and take care of my dh and myself.

 

jeanette - February 10

Go to your rooms, the both of you!!!!!!! ( giggles.. )

 

Lin - February 10

*shoots a spitball at Jeannette*

 

jeanette - February 10

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! Girl, I have too much hair for spitb___s, now I'll never get it out! LOL!............really though, diff people see things diff ways, ya'll just agree to disagree and kiss and make up! I, for one, saw the world all before I was 20 and hated it. Would have rather had a boring home life, and didnt start college for a business degree until I was in my mid-thirties and didnt feel like I missed out on things at all. Although college and kids at the same time are not for the weak of heart and it was much harder than "pre-kid"....I did, however, feel as though I was more prepared mentally and emotionally for the abundance of learning at my age, and it showed in my grades.....Lin, I must admit you come across rather "holier than thou" and snotty in most of your posts but that could be because you are quite an educated person and most of the time the written word is devoid of emotion; ie - we can't see your expression or the twinkle in your eyes when you are talking....so I give the benefit of the doubt in everyone's posts unless it really gets nasty......so go to your corners, the bell has rung, and if I see anymore cussing I'm gonna wash your mouths out with soap!!! *snickers*

 

jeanette - February 10

...and NELL...ROTFL!!!.....are ya preggers, hun? Talk about snapping on someone....whewwwwwwwwwwww! Glad it wasnt me! Go take a test and get back to the LAMBS thread b4 I spank ya!

 

Lin - February 10

Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt, Jeanette. My att_tude is certainly not holier than thou, just plain expressing my experience. No, people don't know what they're missing if they choose to settle down early, but I just think that too many women fall into the "gotta settle down and have kids" paradigm without realizing that there is a lot more to life. Look at how many on this website interpret "a lot more to life" as getting drunk and partying (see the best age to get pregnant forum). That just goes to show that they have no idea what else there is! Call it arrogant, but I do feel priviledged that when I have kids, I'll be able to recognize that they are the best things in my life *among many other experiences*. I honestly think this desire to have kids young is just something that's bred into us as women. I've seen so many girls on this site talk about how they're in love with their 18, 22, 24 year old boyfriend and can't wait to have kids, but in all reality, I don't know any person my age who's still with that person from when they were younger (or at least, still with them and happy - actually, scratch that - I know one). I was convinced when I was 18-28 that the guy I was with was the one I'd be with my whole life, and in retrospect I know he's not. While we would have had a perfectly decent life had we stayed together (and I'd probably be on here with kid #x saying how happy we are), but I know now that it could never have held a candle to what I have now with my husband. I'm just a realist, and I've seen enough relationships fall apart over the years and kids stuck with split parents to think that having kids early is a good idea, not to mention those who have never experienced anything outside their hometown. Haven't you noticed how many girls on this site say that they've done the right thing by having kids early and then go on to talk about how their new boyfriend is a good father figure to their child? Am I the only person who sees that contradiction? If someone is with a new boyfriend that is *not* the father of their child, then they obviously *didn't* have kids at the right time. Of course, it all worked out nicely in the end, but was it what was best? I don't think so. Know what I mean? Pardon for the lengthy post...

 

Lin - February 10

Ooh, sleepy, sleepy...I'm off to bed...happy baby dreams to all!

 

Nell - February 10

Hey Jeanette... I dunno if I am prego but emotional yes. Lin I can see where you are coming from and I agree in some ways and again I do still disagree. Life is about mistakes making them and experiencing them. I see the reality that life doesn't always work out the way you plan it. In this world their are 2 kinds of people. Dreamers and realists. Neither are right or wrong. I see things in a different perspective and that may be because of the age difference between you and I or maybe we are just two very different people. Just so you know I grew up here in Vegas and I lived in an entirely different culture in the caribbean for over 2 1/2 years which sparked my interest to travel even more and I still want to but I intend to share that with people I love because it is more meaningful that way. Whether it be my husband and I or with our children works just as greatly for me. I am glad your life has worked out for you the way it has.... ever think though that maybe it wasn't you who planned it out that way?

 

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