This Is So Frustrating

156 Replies
Nell - February 10

Hey Jeanette... I dunno if I am prego but emotional yes. Lin I can see where you are coming from and I agree in some ways and again I do still disagree. Life is about mistakes making them and experiencing them. I see the reality that life doesn't always work out the way you plan it. In this world their are 2 kinds of people. Dreamers and realists. Neither are right or wrong. I see things in a different perspective and that may be because of the age difference between you and I or maybe we are just two very different people. Just so you know I grew up here in Vegas and I lived in an entirely different culture in the caribbean for over 2 1/2 years which sparked my interest to travel even more and I still want to but I intend to share that with people I love because it is more meaningful that way. Whether it be my husband and I or with our children works just as greatly for me. I am glad your life has worked out for you the way it has.... ever think though that maybe it wasn't you who planned it out that way?

 

Lin - February 10

Nope. I don't believe in a conscious supreme being. Something bigger than myself? Yes. A *conscious* ent_ty? No way.

 

lauren h - February 10

sorry for b___ting in, but I jjust want to give my story to prove Lin wrong. I am 25 and ttc. My dh and I ahve been together for 11 years. Do the math! It does happen. I do not agree with babies having babies, but you are being quite judgemental in deciding what is right and wrong. I have a college degree, and I am a first grade teacher. I graduated college at the age of 20, was I to young then? Maybe, but that is for me to deicide. Everybody does what they feel is right at their time!

 

anoble - February 10

nell....im in las vegas too. and dealing with this whole education thing, i am 24. i have my degree in architecture and have a very good job in the civil engineering feild (see people dont always work in the feild of their degrees) and i have been to every state (almost) in the us. and been outside the us. when i was little and my brother and sister was little, my parents took us everywhere, traveling and it didnt stop them one bit. so its up tp the individual on how they want their live to be. having a child doesnt mean you have to slow down, the world is still moving the same pace, so why cant you? thats just how i see it. no lin, even though you do have valid points, we each have our own way of thinking and expressing your self is all fine and dandy, but it freedom of expression to a point..a point to where you need to know what the boundaries are of way you speak to others. oh and fyi.....i will say that 65% if not more of college students do not gradute and do go just because they see its a "fun" not an "educational" place to be. so take it as you will. im not arguing your facts or anything but thats just what the truth speaks.

 

Lin - February 10

Lauren, for one thing, I didn't say that it never happens, just that it's rare. If you and your husband are still together at the age of 30, then you are the exception to the rule. For another thing, I never said that anyone or anything was wrong at all - just that people are missing out on wonderful experiences by not getting an education or travelling the world before having children, and that they are. Is it to their loss? I think so. Nevertheless, that is their prerogative. Anoble - travelling with children is an entirely different experience (and one *most* people - strong emphasis on the word most - are unlikely to undertake anyway), as is travelling as a child. No, you're right - having a child certainly does NOT mean that you have to slow down. But again *most* people do. Anyway, you're totally missing the point. Of course I absolutely agree with you that getting a college education does not magically mean that you're not missing out. Those who float through college not giving a c___p about their education miss out just as much as those who don't get an education.

 

Nell - February 10

I think I am done with this discussion.... everyone is ent_tled to your own opinion just keep in mind it isn't your life... or your child to tell how to live it.

 

Kitty - February 10

Lin- Are you listening to yourself? This girl came in here to vent a little and the both of you turned this into the absolute worst, meanest forum I have ever seen. Nell is obviously where she wants to be in life and that is fine. You have apparently done more than most or are striving to be where you see yourself, that aswell is admirable. You might both still change your minds. I think that this forum is here so we can listen to each other and comfort each other in the stress that we find ourselves in, be it ttc or pregnant or thinking that you are pregnant. I dont know why you feel that you need to preach your way of being and doing but it will not work for everyone. Congratulations. You obviously have done things that some will only ever dream of, but others just wont. LOVE YOUR LIFE! Dont just sit on your computers and fight with each other, it will do you NO good in the long run. Neither of you are going to met each other so why decide to dislike eachother.

 

Lin - February 10

No, Nell, it's not my life, but it certainly DOES effect my life. These children will eventually vote and their children after them. It is the least well travelled and the least educated that are *most* likely to bring their children up in ignorance about their place in the world - that bring their children up believing that there is no place else in the world like their home, no place with freedoms like the ones they enjoy and no place in the world so privileged or even so deserving - children who place votes based on the selfish view that all that matters in the global political arena is what is within their own borders and what effects them. It is the least educated and least well travelled that will bring their children up in an insular society and perpetuate that throughout the generations. This is especially obvious in American society, but only because it is projected to the whole world. It exists everywhere, and it is perpetuated by selfishness and self-centeredness and the popular belief that everyone knows what is best for them and their children. What am I rambling on about, you will no doubt ask? Nevermind. It's not anything most people care to discuss or consider. Who cares about a broader world view anyway...

 

Micky - February 10

Lin, you appear to be a well educated woman..I have read a lot of your posts. You seem to be a welath of information. I have a question for you. Is it normal to have body temperature of 99.3 during pregnancy ? Does anyone know ? I know a lot of women here chart their temperatures and probably know the answer to my question..

 

Lin - February 10

Kitty, that is just plain silly. It's not fighting. It's called DISCOURSE and is the only path to learning anything. What do you suppose we do besides have a discussion? B___h meaninglessly or pat each other on the back for trying to conceive? Just because we disagree does not mean that we dislike one another.

 

Micky - February 10

I meant wealth

 

jeanette - February 11

Lin, the reason why you wonder why some people can't understand where you are coming from is the exact reason why YOU can't understand where some of US are coming from when we talk about a life of faith under a loving God, and accepting our paths as being orchestrated by Him....you just havent experienced it. And neither have some of these women experienced your way of life. One is not better than the other ( although I would argue the point on faith from personal experiences and revelations ) , it's just how we choose to live our lives, knowing that there is much more than just what this "world" has to offer, and there is the great desire in women, created and placed there by God, to bear children. And thats more than enough for alot of women, including myself. I just wanted to be a wife and mother, thats it. Plain and simple. And there is no greater power, success or job on the face of the earth than being a mother, but the world would like to make us think differently. It's the biggest lie out there. That women should be powerful, make alot of money, be highly "educated" ( mothers are the smartest women I know ).....when motherhood and the family is supposed to be top priority for a woman, and THEN all the other stuff if she so chooses. And THAT is a position of the highest power, no matter what c___p the world tries to hand us to the contrary. I think most women feel that desire deep down inside whether or not they have the knowledge yet to put 2 and 2 together or squash it to follow what the rest of the world is doing or says is "best". It seems something inherently evil is trying to destroy the family unit by making women think that being a wife and mother is looked upon as loathsome and at the very least "second best"......God has given free will from the beginning regardless of right or wrong. Just like He gave you the choice to believe in Him or not, and you chose not to...regardless if you choose to believe or not, He remains. And He believes in YOU. But don't think some women are ridiculous for early in life wanting to be exactly what their heart is calling them to be.......a Mom.

 

Lin - February 11

Jeanette, you may have heard every word I said, but you certainly didn't understand it. Your a__sumption that educated women destroy the family unit and place their children as "second best" is appalling, offensive and rude. Just because you have defined yourself SOLELY as a mother and NOTHING ELSE does NOT make those who don't poor mothers. The BEST mothers I've ever known are those with a broad world view and who are educated - those who can share their knowledge with their children. Dont try to convince yourself that what you have done is right by a__suming that others who did differently cannot parent. Shame on you. And shame on your complete disregard for your own responsibility in your life. Having faith in a religion does not absolve you of responsibility in life. And once again I quote Galileo: "I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forego their use." -- The same goes for FREE WILL.

 

jeanette - February 11

Lin, your immediate, ( and highly defensive I might add ), a__sumption that I said "educated women" destroy the family unit is very telling indeed. Maybe you should read it again. Neither am I offensive, appalling or rude in the things I say. I know all too well that the things of God are looked upon as foolishness by those who choose not to believe...but it doesnt deter me from following His lead and speaking the truth...whether or not youu choose to believe it is your prerogative. Obviously something about what I just said struck a nerve somewhere deep inside you, maybe you ought to look at that more deeply. Regardless of how you choose to discern what I have said or how adamantly you decide to berate me or put me down for even having the gall to talk about something you reject as if it were trash...I know I have done God's will here and it may have not even been for your ears since they are obviously closed to anything that doesnt fall along your lines of how to live, act or behave...but instead these words may have been for someone else who was waiting for a word from the One she trusts and loves, to tell her that everything is ok, and where she is at right now is exactly where He wants her to be. So, I will gladly and with great rejoicing accept your harsh words for the greater purpose of God speaking to another woman's heart......****Whoever you are, darlin.....He loves you and you are highly pleasing to Him. Never forget that.****

 

jeanette - February 11

Quote by you: "Dont try to convince yourself that what you have done is right by a__suming that others who did differently cannot parent." ****practice what you preach, doll.....**** AND if you do not believe in God, or a "conscious ent_ty" as you put it....why do you quote someone who by his own quote says there is one?......my work is done here. Babydust Lin.....and God bless.

 

Nell - February 11

Iluv you Jeanette ur Awesome! Lin obviously I am not the only one who has much to learn and grow in this life.

 

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