Yet Another Question About Miscarriage

13 Replies
chriss - March 9

I'm very sorry to ask this of you ladies who have had this sad experience, but I don't know where else to go and I am depressed and confused. Do any of you mind telling me about when you had your m/c? Were you very far along?? and did the Doctor's tell you that you should wait to try again and if so how long. I only ask because I am still in the process of having a m/c and even though I went to my Dr. he didn't tell me anything and now I have all of these questions............. Thank you for sharing..


enail - March 9

First, I am sorry that you are going through this. And, your doctor does not sound very good! I was quite early when I had my m/c--They believe I was about 6 weeks. Are you far along? It was odd because I had a pretty normal af, but tested ++ a week later (the only reason I tested is because I started to bleed, and thought that was very odd). My doctor said to wait until after I had one normal cycle. I had next af in Jan. and have been trying since then . . .Please hang in there, I know how very sad it is.


Alison - March 9

I have had 2 miscarriages. First I was 9 weeks when a scan showed bay had no heartbeatand had stopped growing, second was a "blighted ovum" discovered at 8 1/2 weeks. I sympathise with you so much it is so awful. Both times I was advised to wait for 1 normal period before trying again. We are now TTC following the second loss. This time we waited for 2 periods before trying mainly to give my mind and body a little extra time. So this month was our first month trying and as I discovered yesterday unfortunately it hasn't happened this month but I'm hopeful for next month.... Be kind to yourself. You''re suffering a very intense loss and you need to let yourself grieve. I'm sorry your doctor hasn't answered your questions it doesn't help things when you're left feeling confused about what's going on. You should start to ovuate about 2 weeks after your m/c and your next period should come 2-4 weeks after that (As far as I'm aware anyway. Both times my next period came exactlt a month after) After your first period you should be ok to start TTC again, depending on whether you and your partner feel emotionally ready. You didn't say how far on you were - my losses were both early on but we decided to choose names for our babies anyway. It might not be something you want to do but I'm glad we did as they were here, even though it wasn't for very long and they were ours. Take care x


chriss - March 9

Thank you so much enail and Alison. I would have been almost 6 weeks pregnant. When I went to my Dr. he gave me another urine pregnancy test, which I just got back today and of course it was negative, not sure if he thought I went to him debating the result of my hpt or what, but...... Anyway. I am still very sad and confused, my husband and I have been ttc for the past seven months now and yet we have a whole bunch of names picked out and were nursery shopping over the weekend. My brain understands why m/c's happen, but it still difficult to get your heart to understand. Thank you both for sharing your experiences with me and good luck to both of you.


mulgajill - March 9

The doctor was probably checking that your hcg levels were dropping... which if you are miscarrying is a good thing... means your body is doing it job properly. I've had three m/c, two close together and one recently, also two kids, so it is pretty bad, but not the end of the world. The two close together (had baby after) made me wait the one cycle after this recent m/c.... getting pregnant straight after m/c gives a slight increase in having a subsequent m/c.... of course lots of people who get pregnant straight after have healthy babes.... you may want to look up the baby aspirin thing, this is meant to help prevent some early m/c's. Very sad for you girl, and your hubby, but try and keep a little bit of positiveness... there is always next time... xx


Lil - March 10

chriss, so sorry to hear about your impending loss. I lost my baby 10/04.. I was told to wait 2 months but we decided to wait 3 months so that my body would heal properly (some women don't and get preggers in 2 wks) but I'm older so didn't want to take a chance. I m/c at 9 wks. I had an ultrasound immediately after finding out. My levels were great then another week went by and an heartbeat should have been detected but it wasn't there so I was told I was having a missed abortion... how horrible does that sound? brrrr....My baby stopped growing at 5 wks. I know this is devastasting it's taken me a while to recuperate emotionally and so I offer you all this site to memorialize your lossed I hope it helps you in the healing process. Be well, be hopeful and baby dust for you for the near future. Good luck.


Misty - March 10

I think you would be pretty lucky if your period comes within two weeks (it is torture waiting). Although it is possible, for most women it takes 4-6 weeks for af to come.


stacey - March 10

I miscarried at 8 weeks, but the baby was onlyabout 6 weeks. My dr. told me we could try again after 1 cycle, which I just got yesterday- almost 6 weeks after the d&e. Don't ever apologize for asking questions here, it's why the forum exists :)


Hanna - March 17

I read your wonderful posts and am wondering how you are all doing now. I am in the middle of a m/c right now and I feel so lost. The information you gave was very helpful for me too. I wish you all the best of luck!


chriss - March 17

Hanna - I'm very sorry for what you are going through right now. It is a very confusing moment, not to mention devestating. I had many different emotion for the 7-10 of my m/c, I kept thinking that I MUST have done something wrong, I mean, I've always heard of other people who had m/c, but you never think it will happen to you. Get this, just the morning that I started having an m/c my husband and I were talking about when/how we would tell our parents/friends and I told him that most women wait for 3 months because of the possibility of m/c and he said, and I quote "only women who are unhealthy and don't take care of themselves have a m/c" I know that he was saying this out of ignorance, but I felt afterwards as though I wasn't taking care of myself properly, I mean I eat well, I don't smoke or drink (except the occasional gla__s of wine) I go to the gym on a regular basis and I've been taking prenatal vitamins for a year now, so.... But I know now that it wasn't my fault, it just took a while for my heart to believe it. We will probably ttc again soon, but I'm not sure when. In the meantime, you should talk about your feelings with your partner/husband or anyone who may have known that you were pregnant. I know that it is difficult, and although you will never forget, it will get better and one day you will have a beautful little boy/girl, so think of this experience as all the more reason to cherish you child when it arrives. I wish you much luck!!!


Nichole - March 17

I know what you mean about having questions.. They couldn't even tell me how far along I was.. Just that my hcg level was dropping and that I was having a miscarriage! And then they asked if I wanted to go on the shot... I was very disappointed in my ob. They didn't even follow my hcg count to 0. I started bleeding on December 27th (well I thought i was having a period) Then by Jan. 7 it had got old.. I was going to go on depo but I wanted to take a test just incase I could be pregnant.. Thats when I found out... I went to the hospital the night b4 my second Ob appointment... I started pa__sing a few tiny clots (Sorry) They sent me home saying I had a threatend Miscarriage and that my cervix was closed.. Next day at the doctors they did an ultrasound and that was it, they said I dont see a pregnancy and told me my levels had dropped. Didn't exaime my cervix or anything... I was very upset...


Nichole - March 17

Your husband really said that? Wow that's about like my boyfriend asking me if "I saw" the baby in the toilet.. I was so closed to killing him at that point.. He went on to tell me he was sorry and he was joking and not to be mad at him... How can you say something so cruel to someone who just found out they aren't pregnant anymore!


chriss - March 17

Nichole - yeah my husband did say it. He can be insensitive at times and I knew that he really believe that these things happen to other people. I was upset afterwards and told him to think about what he says from now on, but I can't really be upset with him. I don't think men really understand how upsetting it is for a women to have a m/c, It's like if they haven't seen the u/s or their wife/partner's belly get bigger, then it isn't even real yet, so if a women has a m/c early in pregnancy it doesn't affect them nearly as much (I'm speaking from experience, there are probably men out there who are really upset/disappointed)


Hanna - March 17

Hi chriss, I know what you mean when you say that you think that you must have done something wrong. I asked my doctor a million questions, like 'could it be stress?', etc. But he, kind man, said it couldn't possibly be anything I did that made this go wrong. I am now in the process of trying to get this idea of not being guilty in my system. We were also about to tell our parents and our sisters that we were going to have a baby and we were looking forward to that so much! And the day after.. the baby was gone.. My boyfriend (husband to be!) has been wonderful and hasn't said anything upsetting. He is very open and warm. I am the only one who has been crying though. But he hasn't felt the pg of course and it was to early to see that I was pg.. so I guess it must have been different for him from the start. Well dear Nichole and chriss, I wish you the best of luck, baby dust, and all things nice.. Thank you for your posts! It really helps me.



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