25 Weeks Pregnant And Baby S Dad Is Abusive-pg113331415718

6 Replies
jakehamel - November 29

I left my baby's father when I was 3 months pregnant. He started to become very controling and yelled at me all the time. Ladies as you know the first 3 months are the hardest and I was sick and I couldnt take it so I left. I did alittle research on my own and found out he has been arrested 4 times in the past for assault and battery on 4 different women(i guess i got out in time) he has had 2 restraining orders against him one pending now.He wanted to go to the doc. appointment with me but I told him he makes me very uncomfortable so now he hasnt called me in almost 3 months. should I have him invovled in the birth or not? I dont want him near me or the baby but I know he must have some rights I just dont know what they will be. I wish he would just sign off all rights but I doubt that will happen. Anyone else had experience with this?


Depends on the state - November 29

If I were you, I would not let him near you or the baby. DO NOT put him on the birth certificate or give the child his last name. Don't serve him with a parental affidavit. Every state has different laws reguarding custody and visitation, but it's most likely that if you don't put him on the birth certificate, HE would have to initiate any court procedings to see his child. This takes time and money and since he has a long history of abuse, it's unlikely a judge would give him regular visitation, ect. You should schedule a consultation with a lawyer (most are free) to find out the specific laws of your state. But I know from experience if you put them on the state issued birth certificate, they will pretty much have as much right to the child as you do, so keep him distant from the beginning or it will be alot harder for you later.


alisha - November 29

If he has a history of violence he doesn't really have any rights to this child. Any reasonable judge would see his prior history and hear your testimony and not allow him to be involved in your childs life. As soon as your childs born I would fill for immediate sole custody.


alisha - November 29

If you and him aren't married and he is not there for the birth than no ones name but yours will be placed on the birth certificate. If this was the case then I could say I was having Brad Pitts baby. States just do not allow this.


Jenn - December 1

I was married to an abusive man for 14 yrs before be reallyhurt me bad, he ended up taking the kids mentaly controling them, get as far a way as you can, dont put his name on anything make him pay for a dna to prove it, even then stay the heck away, your better then that, its harder to leave when there is babys involved.. get some counciling they will help you. good luck,think of this as life or death ok,, not meaning to scare u, but i have lived through this horror, that just scares me..where are you? they dont have those rights without dna test in bc.. my heart goes out to you, stay safe...


tiffany - December 2

i agree with all of the above postings....my mother was abused, and its not something you should put yourself through, and definetly not your child. Im 18 weeks along, and have severe problems of a similar nature with my baby, and i moved away from him, and started a new life. And as far as anyone else in the world is concerned, doctors or otherwise, I have no idea who the father is. His name will not be on the birth certificate, and i wish him luck requesting me to submit my child to a dna test!! good luck to you


Vanessa - February 2

Firstly, you did the fight thing by leaving him now before it was too late. I would stay away from him through out the whole pregnancy unless you are with someone else there beside you such as a friend, mother, brother or sister, that way he can't get to you to hurt you or the baby. When the baby is eventually born because the father is soo abusive, controlling and always wants his way, I wouldnt be surprized if he files for a court date to also have custody of his son. Therefore since you did the research and found out that he does have records of abusiveness and a__sult i would agree to let him to see the child , only if someone is there with him also protecting the child if he were to come into any cases of harm. Please email me if you have anymore questions and we can keep in touch.



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