Am I Doing The Right Thing By Keeping This Baby

22 Replies
holly - February 5

Basically i am 19 years old and i have a two year old girl, I have just recently found out i am 8 weeks pregnant and i'm scared and confused. I am a single mother and have been living on my own with my daughter in a mother and baby unit for the past two years and am soon to be moving into a small two bedriimed house of my own. The thing is the father of my unborn child is also the father of my little girl but he wants nothing to do with it. I've been so stupid he rarely see's his child he's got and its took me ages just to get any kind of child support from him even though he gets paid well and works as a security guard. I don't believe in abortion generally, and on the last scan i heard its heart beat and said that i would keep it, but now i'm having doubts because i don't know how i will cope, i suffer from depression and was previously a heavy smoker, plus i live on benifits and was planning to start training courses this year because i only just sc__ped by at highschool (as i was pregnant at the time) and have few qualifications. My ex was very abusive and i lost alot of my friends because of him so i feel like i'm on my own. I'm just wondering what kind of a life i could give another baby? And if i can physically/mentally cope? I also suffer from BDD and have an eating disorder. Sorry to pour my life out like this, i just really need some advice. Am i doing the right thing by keeping this baby?


tammy - February 5

holly; Wow! It sounds like you're in a mess. I totally agree with you about abortion, and for you that wouldn't be an option. I imagine that you would feel such guilt, that it would only set you back further. That's ok, because you have alot to offer this child..... namely "life" and the chance to live. That's more than many young mothers offer their babies. Secondly, you could look into open adoption. You would get to see your child, but also give it the life you maybe wish you could. That would be a big blessing. I know of so many couples that are heartbroken in not having a baby. They would love your baby. Whatever you decide, it sounds to me like you really need to find some support in life. Have you thought about finding a church group. I'm not pushing religion, because religion tends to be about control. But really finding God is about hope. It can be a personal thing. If you want to talk e-mail me at [email protected]


Jen - February 7

Have you considered open adoption?


Ruth - February 11

Hi Holly, I am sorry to her about what you are going through and you are very right about not considering abortion (for your own sake) I just prayed about you!!! I wish you very best in your life. Go ahead and keep the baby. I would like to say something , but it is strogly MY OPINION (for people who are picky to each word) :::: I would never give away my own child... and it is my suggestion, dont do it, God gave it to you not some Kelly, Mary or Dana..... you know what I mean? I really wish you the best! Good Luck, Ruth


ADA - February 25

hi holly iam really sorry for you for what your going through first of all if your sure about staying with the baby you really have need to sit down and pray to god he will help you through all this just open your heart to him and have faith.things happense for a reason and that baby is a miracle right now he doesnt know how much he's hurting you and the baby but he will later and your strong woman you will manage this situation things happense for a reason try to forget about him and move on with your kids show him you dont need him he's not a real man thats for sure good luck :)


Melissa - February 25

Hi Holly, God I am so sorry that you are going through all of this by yourself. The best thing to do is try and take care of yourself and 2yr old. No one really knows what kind of life they can provide for their child, it's basically a step by step, day by day thing. If you are worried, financial straped as it is, and etc, maybe you should consider adoption. I hope things work for you. if you ever just want to talk I'm always willing to listen. Mom of 3 kids [email protected]


Julian - February 26

I think adoption is an option for you to consider. There are lots of familes who would be happy to love your child like it was their own. If you want to talk and need support you can email me [email protected]


JLK - March 10

one word ADOPTION.


brandi - March 13

i think u should do whatever u think u should do. i think u should keep it, but its up to u. the father of the child should help u out and take care of the child. he is very sorry if he doesn't.


Jen - March 17

Holly where are you??? What's going on?


gina - April 2

i don't think abortion is wrong. especially in ur finacial and mental stae, i think u should look into ur community for some help, to talk to some one about ur depression and eating disorder, u can get through it be strong.


Patrice - May 9

I konw things may seem hard and you can't understand why your being put through this, but trust me, God never gives us more than we can handle and he sure doesn't closes a door without opening a window so trust me, you will get through this. In your heart you know that you got pregnant for a reason and keeping the baby would be the honest thing to do. If you stop worrying so much and have more faith you'll find your answer for yourself.


?? - May 9

i don't think it wrong to have an abortion, u should seek medical hlp, for ur bbd and ur depression, see if there is counsler to talk, seem like ur on the right track having another baby is going to be real tough especially on ur own, if u can handle it go girl! be strong go see a doctor ASAP to discuss ur situation, bst of luck take stay strong be healthy for u and ur child.


haley - May 13

Can't you give it up for adoption? You shouldn't have to raise two children on your own without any support! And why are you STILL sleeping with that inane man who got your pregnant the first time? Get rit of him. Have an abortion or adoption.


shell - June 5

Hi I am sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time.You have to think about what is right for you and whether you would be happy with an abortion and also if you would be able to cope.Also think about your two year old daughter,im sure you are a great mum and i bet she's lovely.Take Care


kerrin - June 8



need advice too - June 10

first off, holly, I wish u best of luck. I hope you come to a decision that's good for everyone. I'm sorry you're going through so much, I'm not one for advice I'm lookin for some too.. best I can do is wish u well. xo we all make mistakes... and my time has come I guess. I had a consensual one night stand and got pregnant from it. unfortunately, with it being a one night stand, I don't have contact info for the father. to top it off, I'm having twins. so yeah, what would you do in this sort of predicament? spare the name calling and negativeness.. I'm only asking for opinions on what would be done. I don't know what to do, I feel so lost. I'm definitely keeping the baby, I just don't know where to go from here. p.s.. birth control doesn't exactly work the best. grr.



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