Can He Give Up His Rights

28 Replies
cheryl - July 22

Well I have kind of a legal question. I'm 8 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend left me a few weeks ago when I told him I wouldn't have an abortion. I'm trying to get over that and it's hard but that's kind of besides the point of my question. He's now saying he's not going to support his child because he doesn't want the baby. He says its his right, he wants me to have an abortion. What I'm beginning to wonder is can he just give up all his parental/legal rights to the baby without like any kind of consent from me or whatever. But then I think if he is able to, every man that doesn't want a baby can do this. Is this possible?


April - July 22

No... he can't. Even if you wanted him to, I believe you'd have to be married with a husband willing to adopt your baby before any judge would allow the other parent to sign their rights away (in most cases). So all you have to do is call domestic relations after your baby is born, fill out some paperwork, and then he has no choice but to pay child support for that baby. Even if he denies to him that he's the father, they'll make him take a paternity test, and then they'll make him pay child support. I think they usually deduct it straight from his wages.


t - July 22

if you agreed to having all his parental rights taken away, then yes, in the US there is a way to do that. BUT, you would have to agree to it and sign the paperwork too.


- July 23

in some states he can sign his rights away, before the baby is born, i would look in to it good luck


Zz - July 23

You can always call an attorneys office that handles family law. They will almost always give you a free conseltation. You can ask that question and also how to go about suing for child support, which I strongly suggest. He helped make the baby, and is equily responsable for it now, wether he wants to or not. That is no longer his choice. You can't force him love the baby or be a part of it's life, but you can force him to own up to his part of the responsability.


April - July 24

okay I don't mean this to sound rude.. but whoever said that he can sign his rights away before the baby's born doesn't know what they're talking about.... because first of all.. there is no proof before the baby's born that the baby is even that guys (can't test for paternity until AFTER the baby is born) and I have NEVER heard of ANY state letting a father sign rights away without the mother's position... and in MOST cases... the mother would have to be married with a husband willing to adopt because that way the judge knows there is someone else there to help provide for that baby. The judge isn't going to just let the father sign his rights away because he doesn't feel like being responsible. That's rediculous.


Amy - July 28

In some states, he can sign his rights away, but in almost all states, the mother or a public official, lawyer, or social worker, must start the motion. April is right, though, he cannot do anything until after the baby is born. My baby's father wants nothing to do with her and I'm inclined to let him have his way. I would rather he leave us alone, let us live our life and him live his. My daughter and son now, deal with the rejection of their father on a weekly basis, my two year old put his head in his hands last week and simply sighed, "I just want my Daddy". It broke my heart. I'd rather struggle and raise them on my own, than have them deal with the rejection of a Dead Beat Dad. But, if you want child support then go for it, but don't let anyone tell you that you can make him take responsibility, because not even a judge can do that, if he wants to be a big enough jerk, he'll just go to jail, or whatever the punishment may be in your state. I truly wish you luck and hope God Blesses you and your baby. Just know that everything will be okay, "eventually" :)


its ridiculous - July 28

but it should be an option. In fact I am surprised it isn't in such a patriarchal society. Its really not fair that we (women) get to make all the "to have/not have" decisions ( who knows how much longer that will last)-- but I wouldn't have it anyway.


uhoh - July 28

should read--but I wouldn't have it any OTHER way


MBC - July 30

I guess I have a similar situation but I do have a bf ready to adopt the baby, I understand the whole "can't sign over rights till a p. test is done" but if he's willing (or convinced) to sign over all responsibility UP front then CAN'T he do that!? He's been denying the baby since day one so why not sign over the rights NOW and then that DOCUMENT will ONLY be there to protect US if he decides to POP back into our lives 5 years later HOPING to be a part of my baby's life. I am making sense RIGHT?


MBC - July 30

Now the tricky part will be GETTING him to sign over his RIGHTS (if he has any which won't be determined till the paternity test) <~~ the other thing is WHO has to pay for that test?


preggo mommy - July 31

In Texas a father CAN sign his rights away but even if he does, he WILL still have to pay child support.The only thing hes signing away is his right to have any say in the childs life.I am currently in the same position but he just doesnt know that he will still have to pay.He thinks hes leaving me to care for the baby without any trouble to hi.He has another thing comming lol.


Future Lawyer - July 31

I am currently studing in law and it just so happens that i read about this.There are states that a father can sign his rights up before the baby is born but it requires that the mother-to-be has to get an amniotic paternity test.If it comes back the fathers child then he is more then welcome to sign his rights up.HOWEVER, in almost every state the mother has to agree with him giving his rights up.He will still have to pay child support even if he does sign over his rights.And to Amy, maybe you should keep the options open for you and your sons sake.Tell your sons father he is welcome to see his son anytime. Keep it that way unless he starts hurting your son.It will protect your relationship with your son in the long run.If you just keep it where yours sons father is not allowed around then in the future its very possible that your son will blame you for his father not being around as if you kept them from each other.Let your son call him up if you dont want to deal with him.Have your son ask him why he dont come around.The answers may hurt but he'll know it wasnt your fault.Maybe he'll want to come around and see him if he calls.Everything is possible


Amy - July 31

Thanks Future Lawyer, my ex have a visitation arrangement in place and my son and daughter still see him, their father. I agree completely with what you said, I'm not even sure I'd let him sign his rights away because my son loves him so much, my daughter doesn't want to go for visits anymore though. I'm pregnant now, and this baby's father wants nothing to do with her, and I'm not going to force him. I can't change what is happening with my son and daughter, with their father, but maybe by just letting the baby's father go, it can save her some heart ache. Thanks for your advice, though, I'm glad you agree with my logic.


tan - August 7

yeah my bf just told me for ages he wanted a baby with me and now he is leaving to go to south africa and never coming back, what rights do i have


angela - August 9

There is no way he can get out of paying childsupport. You'll have to get the courts to force him to take a paternity test, and once that is established he will have to pay if he wants to or not.


Curious - August 15

I realize that as a guy I am probably not welcome here, but I have a question. I have been seeing a woman for about 7 months. She a__sured me she was on birth control and we also use condoms because...well...because pregnancy is not the only thing that can happen and I live in a big city and you just never know. We have never discussed marriage or children. We have a very casual relationship. She told me last night she is pregnant. I told her that I would be happy to pay for her to have an abortion. I am certainly not ready to be a father and I wouldn't have chosen her to be my wife or mother of my children. I'm pretty sure there is no way the child can even be mine since we use "double" protection. I don't like abortion, but I also do not want a child and I was being safe and responsible. I am not religious nor will I ever be religious, so please don't answer anything about god. But do I truly have NO rights but to pay for a child that I not only did not want, but did everything to prevent and have made my wishes clear. True - I was there for the fun, but that's all it was - fun and I had the fun WITH the responsibility. Can I truly be penalized the rest of my life for this? She said she hasn't made the decision on what to do yet. I like her but I don't love her. She feels the same about me. I wish this whole thing would just go away. This child (whether it's mine or not) did not ask to be conceived or to be born. I don't want to be a bad person. And I am sensitive to what she must be going through making this choice. This really sucks. There should be some fool-proof form of birth control. Sorry - I just want to know if I have any say in this. If I were the one pregnant I am pretty sure I would have an abortion or consider adoption if I just couldn't handle an abortion. But I do not want a child - and as far as I knew - neither did she. But the right to choose to be a parent - EVEN financially - should be a choice of both parents in my opinion. You can force someone to pay, but you cannot force them to love. And honestly I will resent being asked to pay for something I did not want and did everything I could do to prevent. I know you all must hate me for saying that, but that is how I feel. Being punished for a mistake is one thing, being forced to keep paying for it over and over is another. And I also don't consider s_x between two consenting adults a mistake. This is such a complicaed issue. Anyway - I just wondered what - if any - are my rights. On a side note - I realize this must be monumentally more difficult for the woman - I just wish I could make it all go away. Sorry if I offended anyone. Thank you for listening.



You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?