Christmas Is Almost Unbearable

7 Replies
Jillian - December 23

Here I am 31 weeks pregnant, dumped and alone for the holidays. My ex has a new girlfriend and I never hear from him. I am so depressed knowing that he is with her and not thinking twice about me or our unborn child. He is out drinking having a great time, while I'm home alone on Friday nights and New years. How do the rest of you cope with being single and alone? I am finding every day to be torture.


Julie - December 23

You're torturing yourself by concentrating on what HE is doing.. Forget him - he obviously forgot about you... Go out with your friends to eat and have fellowship. Take in a movie, write letters to family, start a journal to baby, do anything and everything BUT think about what he is doing. That is self destructive. He'll grow up one day and by then it'll be too late. Move on with your life and your babies with out him and don't give him a second thought....


g - December 24

I wish i could help but i can cry with you! We really shouldnt feel that way twords the so called men but we do. Going with friends could help like Julie said. But i have no one that understands or that is in town. I mean i have some of my family here which helps but its still hard. My ex keeps calling when he's drunk says he misses me/our daughter then denies the hell out of it. But keep busy. I keep trying to give everybody advice but in reality i have no idea what to do for my own situation. But i thank God everyday for this forum because all you ladies are very sweet to listen and try to help. Seems like i should start a group where i live for us going down here and get together and talk ,go out. Hmmm maybe. Well Jillian hang in there.


To G..Jillian - December 24

I'm glad that you understand what it feels like. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one that is going through this, then I come here and it makes me feel so much better. Where do you live G? To Julie, you are right, I need to not think about HIM, but it's almost impossibel to stay cheerful this holiday season. I'm trying. He does need to grow up, but the truth is he is 33 and I don't think that he will ever change. I know that eventually I will be over him, but it seems to be taking forever for me to forget about him. Thank you both for your advice:)


g - December 24

To Jillian- i guess that was you that answered my other question or should i say venting. Thanks. I live in TX. Someone told me it was easier to get over a guy when you have kids to concentrate on but in my sit my kids are with the guy as you know! So i have to deal with him. He says i'm so b___hy well what does he expect when he does what he does to us? Then it's all my fault! He's only getting worse in everyway... Well take care


dew - December 25

I get through the lonely times by thinking about my baby. I'm 39 weeks and he's all I think about. don't think about the father, it won't make him act better and I won't make you feel better. Wash your baby's cloths or look at your ultrasound pictures, take a ride or a walk, do anything but sit there and feel bad. your baby's father is going to be an a__s no matter what you do, so don't let him win by allowing him to take up space in your brain. Karma will get him back and he will regret his decision one day, until then you can get revenge by succeeding, by being a good mom.


nikol - December 30

I agree with Julie. I know it's not that easy to forget about someone you love and your probably still in shock that this is happening to you in the first place. Try and get a hobby or something and occupy your time with other things. When this baby comes along your going to feel a love that you've never felt before and it will be more satisfying than any love a man can give you. It sounds like this guy needs to grow up a little and when he does he's going to realize what a colossal mistake he has made. By that time it will be too late for him because you'll have moved on, and you'll be happy and maybe even have a guy that treats you and your child the way you deserve to be treated. Right now I would just keep busy and lean on your friends and family and get excited about the baby. Remember that it's ok to have a cry once in a while to let everything out but don't let it consume your life. You deserve the best, don't forget that.


Lee - December 30

Jillian you are not alone trust me! I'm 9 weeks pregnant and the father in a since has left me as well. About 4 days ago we got in a huge fight and he said very mean things to me, he wished I'd die in my sleep, and denied that this baby I’m carrying is his and he refuses to help me either with the pregnancy or an abortion. Well I kicked his sorry a__s out of my house yesterday and I think it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. He said he was glad because he wouldn't have to wake up the next morning to hear me nag and that he was going to have fun going out with his friends and to the strip clubs and even told me he was going to leave the state so in a since he told me to have a nice life and he left. I spent the whole day and night crying and I feel very depressed and lonely. I wanted so bad to call him and beg him to come back but I know that would be stupid of me. I don't feel like doing anything but lying in the bed and crying. I'm not looking forward to New Years and I'm already wondering what he will be doing and who he will be doing it with. Neither one of us deserves this c___p but I know you can't just turn off your feelings and stop caring for someone, it takes time. I've only lived in the city I'm in now for 4 months so I don't have any friends yet and my family is not close by. I'm sorry I can't give you any advice to make you feel better but please know that you’re not alone and that there are other women going through this as well. You (we) deserve so much better and it's just going to take some time for our hearts to heel. I'll be thinking of you this weekend. Hang in there : )



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