Does Anybody Else Get Jealous

15 Replies
Jillian - December 20

I am a soon to be single mother, and I have to say that I get SO jealous when I see pregnant women with a man by there side that is planning on being in the childs life. I feel like all children deserve a father, and feel horrible that mine won't have one. My guy ran out on me when he found out that I was pregnant..... It's been 6 months and still no sign of him. How does anybody else cope with being a single mother? I'm so scared.

 

Jennifer - December 20

I feel that too. when i go into my ultra sound but I take my kids with me and /or other family members..... i wish my babies daddy was deserving enough to share the feelings ,but different situation then yours hon... i kicked out my bf.. he never ran away... find a friend for u to take with you.. someone close family member someone who can enjoy the experience of life.. another preg single mom would be nice.. the two of you could relate to each other. not saying you have to switch sides . if that dad ran out on you then think about if he ran out on her /him your baby when she/he was born and say 5 or 6 when they need there dads the most. he saved both of you that pain... suck it up be strong.... you need no worry about the past. deal with today and tommarow..... a good man will come your way and hopefully love you both the way you should....... dont let that loser dad have anything to do with the baby...dumb a__s

 

Jillian - December 20

Thanks for your advice Jennifer:)

 

to Jillian - December 20

I have a 13 year old and know sometimes he feels bad,but he gets alot of male bonding with my sister's friend. He plays basketball with him. His father is getting what he deserves and your baby's father will too. My son's father cannot keep a job. His mother and father never gave a c___p about him. He has never had a good car always getting broken down c___p. He lost his license then was caught driving with them suspended and with the wrong tags on the car. He was living in Durham with a girl and she kicked him out after he got fired from yet another job. Had to go stay with his grandma who does not want him there. Call me in October and last month begging for me to get back with him because he has nothing. His grandma then was fussing at him about eating up the food. My son is living a nice life gets what he wants and needs. So I tell him you getting what you deserve.

 

April - December 20

I used to get jealous... but not TOO jealous. I had a friend who was due 4 months after me. Her boyfriend was soooo sweet to her. He'd carry her stuff, run and get her things, everything a guy should do... I just wanted to smack him... hahahahah. Ahhhh well... someday I'll be married and I'll have another kid... and hopefully I'll get to experience that with my next pregnancy. In the meantime I'll just enjoy my beautiful daughter who made every moment of misery her deadbeat father put me through worth it!

 

sasha - December 20

I would never get jealous. I would get very, very sad. I realize now that it wasn't that I was upset that the father ran out on me. I could care less about him. I really never watned him involved in my daughters life. What upset me was that I didn't have a perfect family to give to my children. I will never have biological mother/biological father and their child. I won't have another child after this either. I don't think it's fair to my daughter. If I met a man and married him and had a child with that man my husband would love his biological chlid more than mine. I would also be in a situation where suddenly my child might feel slighted. This makes me sad, not jealous when I think of other women and their 'nuclear' famlies. I made my own bed and I've got to sleep in it. I oculd have made better decision which would have led to a man who wanted to father my children. Instead I found the biggest bad boy I could find, shacked up with him for a few years, and ended up getting myself pregnant without support. Ultimately it was my decision and those were my choices. No one raped me. But it took me 9 months of distress and overwhelming saddness to come to a resolution. The resolve is even harder when your man just disappears. Mine just disappeared. Whatever it is, jealousy or overwhelming saddness, you will find a way to deal with it. My advice is to be very careful with jealousy. Jealousy can breed hate, contempt, and anger. Try not to be jealous of anyone else. People have a way of painting a pretty picture, but it's not always as it seems. Perhaps the woman your jealous of husband beats her, steals from her, perhaps he'll end up molesting their children. You just don't know. You know?

 

Jillian - December 21

Sasha, you are right. Jealous isn't the right word, I guess its me feeling sad. I feel sorry for my son already that I put him in this situation with a dead beat dad. I'm more angry at myself more than anything:(

 

Been There - December 27

I was once in your situation. I know it's not easy, but you can take comfort in the fact that if he left you, you are better off without him. He probably would have just been more of a burden anyway. I actually had to walk away from a horrible person with my first child. But I didn't let that get to me. I had my child whom I love dearly and take great care of. After a while, a decent man came along. Guess who my daughter calls "Dad" right now and for the past 12 years of her life. That selfish man who left you didn't deserve you. The first thing you need to know is that although having a father around is nice, having a loving, strong mother around is so much more important right now.

 

neesha - December 27

i know how you feel it can be kind of depressing when you walk down the street and see other woman that are pregnant and they have someone there to help and support them

 

Anne - December 31

Doesn't bother me cause I can't stand my babies' father.

 

maggiemooandyou - January 2

i think angry, jipped, ripped off, SAD, and mad, and just down right p__sed off at the looser would be a better term than angry

 

Heather - January 20

I don't think jealous is the "correct" termonology. More like hatred, bitterness and anger. I'm 8 months pregnant and my husband and I decided our marriage isn't working. We haven't yet gotten a divorce, but to him it doesn't matter. He's sleeping around like it's going out of style. It hurts a lot because now I'm starting to see how "replacable" we were to him. I could come up with a lot of words to explain how I feel - but none of them would be jealous. Ya know, when I think of it - I'm actually happy. Now I can raise my son w/o interference from him. Sure there might be "happy" couples raising their child together, but I get to raise my son without input from that b___d and that makes the sun come out....

 

jen - January 20

im not jealous of other couples but to a certain extent im jealous of him. I just got off the phone my my child's father who just woke up it is 2 o'clock where he lives. What the hell is up doing all night? We aren't together. We barlely even know each other. but most of the women i talk to say im better off alone. and i didnt have any one to argue with over the name.

 

tjane - January 24

Dont get jealous honey I know its hard but you dont know what these women are dealing with in order to keep their man around, Just have strength in knowing that you are alone because you choose to be. If you are like me you are alone because no one is good enough, not because of something you did.... There are lots of good men that may one day cross our paths but there are alot of men out there that arent worth anything and just because they appear happy in public doesnt mean they have something you dont. Its hard but if he left its better that he left because its harder during pregnancy being stressed about a man and your baby than just being stressed about yourself and your children.... Good luck, Its hard but you always find a way for your baby.....Just remember all you can do is be the best Mom ever and their choices are their choices......

 

krc - January 24

Until you find another man worth having around your child I would suggest keeping positive male influences in your life. It can be friends, family, or church. YMCA..anything that allows your child to have a male influence. Boys especially but girls need that influence just as much.

 

krc - January 24

And yes....I hate seeing pregnant girls my age walking hand in hand with boyfriend or hubby. My boyfriend died when I was a few weeks pregnant and if he were here he'd be more excited about this baby than I am. I get sad, jealous, mad, all those emotions.

 

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