3 Replies
JudgingAmy - March 12

Hi everyone, I am 35 and I have 3 children. My first child I had as a teenager, then I had my other 2 with my boyfriend of 15 years. We recently split after I got the nerve to leave the abusive relationship and his infidelities. During that split I dated and may be pregnant. How in the world am I going to live with this? How does this make me look? I've never in my life had s_x with anyone I wasn't in a long term committed relationship with. So now all my years of being that person I screw it up and I'm almost 40? I've been so proud of my strength to leave! Now I look like all he accuses me of being. I don't think I can give the baby up for adoption but my gosh are people going to judge me! What will I tell my ex? What do I tell my kids? I don't even speak to the guy anymore! How am I going to do this?


littlemissz - March 13

Hi, although our situations are not really the same, I have found myself in a similar scenario. I met a local guy I really liked at New Year and following this we were in touch a lot by text. Although we never 'dated' we met up a few times when we were out at local venues and ended up having s_x. The last time this happened I asked him if he'd like to go for dinner. He said he was busy and couldnt do dinner that week, but could the next. Following this I heard less and less from him and it was me intiating texts. Then I discover I'm pregnant. I asked by text if he'd like to meet for dinner, again. And then got the It's Not You It's Me text saying he's not ready to be attached to someone. I've since told him I'm pregnant and he said he's "not ready for all that". However, I've had a previous abortion (medical) years ago and it cut me up for years. I had to quit art school, quit my job, I was depressed for months and the experience and guilt stayed with me for years. Now I don't know what to do for the best. At the end of the day, it's your body, only you can decide what you want. Who cares what people say - people will always have SOMETHING to say regardless of your decision, its just how people are. My Dad always told me "There's only one thing worse than being talked about - NOT being talked about!" Whilst I'd like to subscribe to this way of thinking, it is hard not to feel judged by others at times. I don't know what advice to give you - I can't even give myself advice!! But thought I'd share this with you and hope it makes you feel less alone. x


Grandpa Viv - March 14

Amy, you are judging yourself too harshly. Don't let the abusive accusations of the ex set you back one bit. The stigma of single parenting is long since dead and buried. Today most women would like to pat you on the back for not terminating. Sit down with your kids and tell them the situation and get their input. Laugh when you tell people you did not think it was possible at your age, but you are happy it happened. God bless!


dekraytom - December 14

holiday when couples shift gifts



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