Feeling Guilty-pg112896783418

4 Replies
marsha - October 10

the father of my child has not really been involed w/ my pregnancy. he calls once in a while and visits maybe once a month, i have so much anger and have not unleashed it on him because when he does call i am happy to hear from him, anyway i plan on filing for child support and i don't want my child to have his last name. is this really mean? he knows i am working still and do in 3wks and tells me to stop working yet he has not gave me a dime, and it ain't like he is broke. should i feel guilty? why do i feel guilty?


Aisha - October 10

No you shouldnt. I gave my baby his fathers last name because even though he wasnt involved..I felt for me that it was the right thing. When I say not involved I mean in the way that a father would be in a normal relationship. Even though it hurt..I understood why he wasnt as involved as he should have been..we werent in a relationship and the pregnancy came from immature choices...because of that I feel that I bear the burden of the pregnancy and I did bear it alone. Now the baby is born..all that matters is the baby so I am giving him the opportunity to step up but if he doesnt then I will file for child support but i dont feel that filing is the best thing because all it does is create animosity between people and that always affects the child. Maybe your childs father isnt convinced that the baby is his and thats why hes not as attached as he would be.,


SP - October 10

RE: i say That is soo true! Get the child support. That may be the only way you might get any help from him. Laws are getting stiffer, so he will suffer consequences for not paying. Don't feel guilty. Unless you raped him, BOTH of you had s_x together willlingly, and now the baby is BOTH of your responsibilty. And also true, your happy emotions when hearing from him CAN cloud your judgement, and now is NOT a good time for distractions. If any man is smart, he would use that "monthly call or visit" as a pacifier to keep you from demanding him to pull his weight. Don't be fooled. Keep your head up and stay focused. And if you think you should skip on his last name, do so. I know too many people who carry the last name of a deadbeat father and they HATE it. Don't worry about the tension it may cause. There wouldn't BE ANY TENSION if he was supportive and responsible, Let the guilt go. You don't deserve to feel that way while he's out there living life without a care!


marsha - October 10

Sp, thanks for the advice i love it! u r so right, and am taking ur advice 100% i guesse i just need to hear it from another women. ur right laws r getting stiffer and where i live the govmnt does not stand for dead beat dads also i really would not have to deal w/ abunch of leagal c___p, only if he says the baby's not his, and the whole joke is he will end up paying if i take a paternity test, because he knows and i know 100% this is his child, and when you tell me not to be fooled by him stringing me along ur r sooo right.


SP - October 12

Marsha, I'm sure you know that not all choices leave you feeling all warm and fuzzy. It doesn't always feel good when you take a stand, but you are old enough to conceive, therefore old enough to know that you will make it through; just like you made it through all the other things you have gone through in your life up to this very day. Believe it or not, some "baby daddy" issues DO work themselves out. Regardless, stay strong and positive for yourself and for your child. I wish you the best!



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