Feeling Sad

5 Replies
..... - February 8

I hope I don't get to much criticism for this but I'm wondering if I've made a huge mistake by keeping this baby. I struggled with the thought of having an abortion for so long when I found out that I was pregnant and finally decided I couldn't do it even though most of my family and friends said I should. I'm now almost 16 weeks pregnant. The sperm donor is a real looser and I feel so sorry for this baby I'm caring to have such a useless parent. The last few days I've just been so worried and so emotional. I'm not sure if I can financially give this baby the life he or she deserves and also continue to provide a good life for the child I already have who is almost 12. I know I'm a good person but I keep having all these bad thoughts and think maybe this should have never been and I know it's my fault if I can't give both my kids what they need and deserve. Not sure what to do or if this is just hormones but I'm very sad and confused when I should be happy and excited about this little one. Am I being selfish for keeping this child when I’m not sure what kind of future I can provide for it?


jg - February 8

Try not to worry about the future too much, worrying doesn't change anything (easy to say I know!) and hormones do crazy things and can make you feel upset and weak one minute and strong and happy the next! It's great that you decided against abortion, and remember that you can decide to go through with adoption at any time throughout your pregnancy, or even after. You don't know how things will pan out over the next few months, and your feelings may change later into your pregnancy, that you will be able to care for your baby by yourself. Remember that there are lots of mums out there who care for their babies on their own successfully, but If you really are not able to look after your baby in a safe and stable environment, there are plenty of wanting-to-be parents out there who can provide all the things you want for your child. There is no shame in adoption, though of course there will be many emotional issues you will have to deal with, but I am sure that if you contacted an agency now, that you would be able to get help and support and counselling if necessary. Good luck to you - I really hope that you will find some happiness in carrying this little life, whatever the outcome.


g - February 8

Hey i'm not working, temporaly out of school and am completley broke! I know once i finish school i will be better off and will struggle for now. I am very luck to have my family emotionally and financially support myself and kids. But i know some of you are not so lucky and am sorry. But one way or the other theres always a way to keep making steps up. If it's your hormones it's mine to! I am still worried ,anything can happen between now and then. If you dont work rite now what about watching a child or two at your place? Or animals? Are you crafty? I know it's not much money just change but i know every bit helps! I have always wanted to write books so i'm not that great at it but i am gonna try and keep learning! I wish you luck and happiness.


........... - February 9

Thanks jg & g for your kind words. I have a full time job and it's a pretty good job along with good health insurance but with daycare and all the other expenses that come with a new baby I'm not sure I'll be able to make ends meet. I'm all for adoption, but with already having a child that will be 12 when this baby comes I can't see explaining deciding to give this baby up. I think that would be difficult for a child to understand why I kept her and why I'm not keeping her brother or sister. I thought about working a second job but that would be almost impossible with the child I already have and the one on the way. I guess I have no other choice but to try and make this work at this point. I just don’t want either of my kids to suffer for stupid decisions that I’ve made….


SLP - February 9

To the poster::::::: I am in the same situation as you, sort of. I don't have any other children, but I am really struggling with how I am going to do this, finanicially. I have figured out how much I need to make and I now have my resume up on monster and a couple other local websites. You just need to be proactive and pray that everything works out.


ctgirl - February 12

I am in the same boat. I have a nine year old, and 12 weeks pregnant with 2nd. The dad has totally left me, with little hope of getting back together. He as begged me for an abortion, but I wont. Wish I had support for you, I am just as confused. Keep me posted how you are going.



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