Fresh Perspective Might Cheer Some Of You Up A Little

3 Replies
violet928 - October 4

Hello everyone, I wrote in a couple months back when I was pregnant. I was five months pregnant with our second child (1st is 2) when the father left me. Well actually I discovered he was cheating on me and I kicked him out but his choosing other women over me counts as him leaving in my eyes. Anyway the other woman is 38 which is 10 years older than him and 13 older than me. Long story short is hurt, not only me and my ego as well as our 2 year old, but it totally destroyed me dream of a happy healthy family that stays together. Being a pregnant single mother was hard and now the baby is here and it is not so bad. Okay so beign so hurt and depressed really gets us no where and what has helped me to get over the hurt is this list in no particular order... 1. I don't have to feel guilty for not having s_x for 6 weeks. 2. I do not have to worry about how bad I think I look post baby 3. I have more time and energy to focus on my children (men consume a lot of energy) 4. More time for exercise (Once the doctor says it is safe and when the little one is sleeping) 5. I can co sleep with my second baby and not feel guilty because I have no man to share my bed with! :) 6. I do not have to feel bad when the baby wakes up hungry and crying every couple hours, because she is not disturbing his sleep (he is not here). 7. I do not have to stay up and wait for him to come home (he always went out for a few drinks after work) 8. I can buy and make what ever I want for dinner, it is nice to only have to worry about what I want to eat. 9. When out and about with or without (which never happens) the kids I can feel fun and flirty if I see a cutey looking my way. (Of course I do not act on anything but it feels good to simply throw a flirty glance and walk away confidently. 10. I have time to get to know myself better and discover exactly what it is I want out of my next relationship and I now know to never settle for anything less. 11. Who needs a bipolar alcoholic (he was both those things) anyway? Not me. 12. Things get better, life is just that way. without bad times we would not appreciate the good times, so keep your head up and focus on your baby/babies. We are all strong, capable, and beautiful women. We will all find better men one day and even if we don't, who cares? Men are truely only good for a hand full of things anyway. So try to be positve for the children and keep in mind after the pregnancy is finally over the hormones will level off and thigns will not seem so bad anymore. Look on the bright side of thigns and try to find the positives because focusing on negatives only make things harder and more depressing. Take care everyone!


sa__sychick - October 4

Violet, this is very positive and inspiring. Thanks for sharing this with everyone. You’re so right about a lot of the things you listed. Good for you for putting such a positive spin on a very difficult and hurtful situation. I wish you and your kids the best of luck!


violet928 - October 4

Thank you. I hope I can help some others through their bad situation. The more I look at the positives the less I miss the idea of having a 'together family'. It took a lot of thinking and crying to get to the point that I am at now and I now relize it is not him I miss and love so much as it was the idea of who I thought he was and the idea of what I thought we had. Sort of like I miss a dream that was never real in the first place. I know once I had my baby I instantly felt so much better and more hopeful about the life my daughters and I can and will have without him.


mommybabyboy21 - October 5

amen to co sleeping I love it.



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