Guaranteed Paternity No Badgering Please

16 Replies
bgzy - June 12

First off, I really just need some badgering or demeaning here. I need help. So please don't judge me, though it's easier said than done. I really just need your help. Question: If a woman engages in s_x with three different men in a one week timeframe, and happens to conceive that month, is the first man the father? Details of Story: LMP - 5/20/06 1st s_xual encounter with Guy 1 - 6/2/06 (used spermicidal film, not sure if placed in properly) 2nd s_xual encounter with Guy 1 - 6/5/06 (at first no condom but used one towards ending of act) 3rd s_xual encounter with Guy 2 - 6/7/06 (at first no condom but used one towards ending of act) 4th s_xual encounter with Guy 3 - 6/9/06 (no condom and guy ejaculated inside of her) According to ovulation calendars, June 1 to June 6 would have been fertile time. Also from June 1 to June 5, my libido increased, my CM was EW, and I was having ovarian pain. I just want to make sure that if I am pregnant, I can tell the actual father, and not make this situation stickier than it can be or already is. I know what I've gottten myself into, but just don't want to drag anyone with me. If I am pregnant, I believe the first guy is the father since he and I engaged in s_x during my fertile time, which is based on the symptoms I had and ovulation calendars. Thanks for your help.


abazarni - June 12

You will not know, just because you had s_x with the others not in your fertile period doesnt mean you didnt get pregnant then. Based on the age of my baby it looks like I got pregnant before my fertile time. I would guess it is guy number 3, bacause you did it without protection.


Been There - June 12

Actually, sperm must be present and not on it's way there when you ovulate. Therefore, if you are correct about when you ovulated, number 3 is ruled out because it still would have taken time for the sperm to travel and the egg would have been disentegrated by the time his sperm reached the destination. It has only 24 hours of wait time before beginning to break down. So he would have missed the window. Since pre-c_m contains sperm too, it could be 1 or 2's baby. Now, if you are incorrect about when you ovulated, and it was later, it could be 3's as well as 1 or 2's. The problem is that sperm can live for up to 5 days and just wait around for an egg. Therefore, I don't think any of us can really pinpoint it for you. You will need a DNA test. Unfortunately, you are still in a sticky situation because there is no way to accurately pin down whose sperm was there and waiting.


HannahBaby - June 14

Sperm can live up to 72 hours, meaning that if you ovulatedon the 6th, it could be ANY of those guys babies, it only takes one sperm to penetrate the egg, and that doesnt mean the first one there wins.


dsmom - July 21

It all depends on when you ovulated and no calander or chart can depict that its only an estimate that most women so 14 days after beging of menstral, so it could be any of thoes guys, but I would go with guy one or two, because they were right in the time frame, and theres always pre c_m......the only way to be sure is to do paternity tests if possible, ,,


am1903 - July 21

I think you'd definitely have to do a paternity test to be totally sure. I am absolutely positive of when I conceived (only had s_x once in 7 months) and all of the calendars, predictors, etc. are totally wrong. Like the last poster said, everything with those charts is just an average. Good luck with everything!


MelissaP - July 22

Because you had s_x with these men in such a short time's almost impossible to determine when you concieved. I think you have to have the paternity testing done. And I would let each potential father know what is going on. I know you don't want your situation all out in the open because it's embara__sing, but you need to be honest. This is too close a call to guess who the father is. Good luck sweetie and I hope everything works out for you in the end!


Tracymae - August 2

As embarra__sing as it may be,get paternity testing done so you can know for sure who the father is. No one has the right to judge you since we all have had s_x.....I myself have it often too!...though it is with one man...... what is most important is knowing for sure who the father is....Don't worry about what other people think..we are grown ups here.....things will work out in the long run....Other people have s_x too,so they don't ahve any right to judge you anyway.(You can't be sure exactly when you ovulate....and since sperm can live for 72 hours inside you,could be any of the men....but it makes sense it is the one you didn't use protection #3...I want to share this too; a few months ago,I got pregnant and had a miscarriage by my fiance....he didn't ejaculate inside me,so there was still enough sperm to get me pregnant even at my age 42 and he is 40. Our very first time of being together,no ejaculation inside me and i still got pregnant. Miscarried at week 6,but I realized even at my age,I want to have another baby which will be my 4th. My oldest is 22,10 and then 3.Things will be ok for you. Get all the men tested and ignore anyone who tries to be judgemental. The fact is ,the baby is yours' no matter who the father is and you will adore her no matter who the father is.


sonotec75 - August 2'll have to get all the men tested. Sperm are present throughout the act of s_x regardless if they ejaculate inside, out, or in a condom at the end.


krc - August 6

my best friend is in a similar situation. Crazy huh...she was with 3 men 3 days in a row. Like guy #1 on jan 1st, guy#2 on jan 2nd, and guy #3 on jan 3. Well according to the ovulation calculater and her LMP she conceived with guy#2 but was ovulating during that week. She also was with guy #3 the following week. Now her cycles are not standard 28 days but averagng 35 which in that case she may have conceived with guy #3 the followng week. Anyways she had her daughter 8 months ago and I think she favors guy #3, but some say guy #2. Until she gets a paternity test done she wont know since the child doesn't strongly favor any of the 3 guys. ( as luck would have it all the guys have the same hair/eye color !! LOL ). I understand your situation because of seeing what my friend has been thru emotionally, everyday she says something like....does she have my mouth or guy#1, does she have guy#2's ears?? There isn't anything you can do but get a test done because conception calculators are just a way of getting a good estimate....IF & ONLY IF you have a standard 28 days cycle. If you dont....then those calculators are of no use. And since sperm can live inside you up to 5 had multiple contenders. So whoever had the strongest swimmer is the papa !! Not when some book or website says you were fertile.


nz_dre - September 1

Can scans tell exactly when the foetus was conceived? Or do they just estimate due to LMP??


Franny - September 1

IT IS A COMPLETE GAMBLE. You can guess guy 1, 2 or 3 but the ONLY way you will 100% know is a paternity test. Guessing on this one is as safe as Russian Roulet. An ultrasound can give you an estimation of conception which can be days and weeks off depending on when it is done. I have heard the most accurate time for an ultrasound is like 8 weeks and still that can be plus or minus 4 days. I have also heard the sperm can live up to 5 days. I am 8 weeks pregnant (from conception). I had s_x on July 4th. I had 2 drs appts with 2 different ultrasounds. One estimated conception to be July 9-10 and the other July10-14th...So you can see it is not an EXACT science. Yikes, what are you going to do...?


RoxiFoxiGrl - November 2

The dad of my baby is sure it is his, but I want to for his parents sake how many months along can I be before I can have a paternity test done, so I can tell his parents that it is absolutely his here is proof of it.


jennifer_33106 - November 2

RoxiFoxiGrl~ Post your question on the main forum that way you are more likely to get an answer! I am not sure myself but someone should know. GL!!


lisa mc - November 20

it depends entirely on when you ovulate. i went for a 12 week scan and found out i was 10 weeks and 3 days so this ment i ovulate really late it could be the same with you!! good luck.


anfmom - November 27

I would just wait and get a test. You can tell them be honest and say it could be someone elses. You dont need to tell them when and how many other ppl you slept with that is non of their concern. Good luck!


xvkx - November 27

Honestly, there is no way you can tell for sure without a paternity test... I know it's a sticky situation, but getting paternity testing will prevent even more stickiness in the future that could affect your child.



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