He S A Jerk

8 Replies
numberonemisfit - June 19

Ok so part of this has been posted before but anyway. I've just recently found out for sure that I am pregnant. When I told him he said he couldn't handle a family right now and that he wanted to stick around but then again he didn't. I told him that if he left, he'd be the one losing out, not me. Then he told me he had a girlfriend and they had only been dating since two days after we slept together. All he seemed to care about was what she was going to think and what everyone else was going to think. He made it sound like he was the only losing anything here. I told him that he wasn't losing anything because I was the one that had to carry the baby around for 9 months. All he keeps saying is that he wants to be in the baby's life and then he doesn't. He says that he can't afford a baby right now so he's going to be the "uncle" until he can afford to help out. Then he's saying that he's going to go away for 3-4 years and then come back into both our lives. He's expecting me to wait around on him until he gets his life together. I want to tell him that if he goes then that's it. I'm not sure if that's the best thing for me to do. I don't know that he'll actually come back. I dont know...please help...what should I do?


Bebita_Linda - June 19

tell him how you feel and its ur life thats changeing not him all he has to do is help and to choose wat he wants to do but no matta wat get child support from him good luck


Mommy - June 19

I really hope you are not going to wait for him to decide when he wants to be a dad. That's not fair to you or your child. If he does decide to leave, try to get child support. It would be completely wrong for you to have to wait to be a family until he finds it convienent. You and your baby are worth way more than that. And he wants to play the "uncle" until he gets more money? Man, where's his head at? That would be confusing to your kid. I hope that you do what's right for you and your baby. Good luck.


Mrs.Steve - June 23

He's an idiot. And certainly not someone who should be around to influence a child. Set that one free. He's going to be nothing but a burden to you. Give him his walking papers and make a family with just you and your baby. There's nothing wrong with that.


Lorena1980 - July 7

numberonemisfit: Sorry to say, but I think he's a jerk. Let him go and move on, concentrate on your baby now, find new and exciting things to do to make your pregnancy more pleasant- read, go shopping (even if it's window, meet with a friend, rent movies, go swimming- it's all much healthier than beating yourself up about how unfortunate you are. Oh, and remember, there's always child support he will have to pay! so he can forget the "uncle" thing. But judging by what you say about his reactions, I think he's no good, and you should probably stay away frm him and let him do what he wants... I know youre probably thinking you cant do it alone, but believe me YOU CAN! It can be difficult to let go, specially whan you still have feelings for him. Im 21 weeks pregnant and single, because the babys father is a total loser, cheater, i found out he had women left and right as well as babies... and i can go on and on, but, if i continue thinking negatively about him, i will only make my pregnancy miserable and i refuse to feel sorry for myself. THIS IS A HAPPY TIME! although it is very hard at times, try to convince yourself of it, be determined to feel happy. the right man will come our way, and the right man is the one that will love us, respect us and stand by us AND our children!!! also, i have never been very religious, i am catholic and sometimes when i felt i couldnt take it anymore i put my life and my daugters life in God's hands, that helps take the load off. so, if you believe in a God, whichever one it may be, talk to him. or find a way to do something spiritual or healthy (yoga, excercise, childbirth cla__ses) that wont hurt and will only make you feel better about yourself and your beautiful baby. my best wishes to all single moms to be and their little ones!!


detour4me - July 17

a woman is like a teabag..u never konw how strong she is until shes in hot water..i live by that everyday. my babyfathers an a__s hole 2 but i kno it will get better and i dont need him


detour4me - July 26

tell him to screw hisself and to be a man...my ex is the same way... worry about your baby that is coming..that is what keep me motivated..everytime i feel my baby kick i get so overjoyed like how can a jerk like my ex give me something more wonderful than anything in this world? keep your head up


April - July 31

I think that's so funny that he thinks he's going to be the "uncle" until he chooses to be the dad. Apparently he doesn't know about a little thing called "court-ordered child support." He'll have to pay that or he's going to jail. Make sure you do go to domestic relations and get a child support order, because you and your baby both deserve the support from him. If not physical, monetary is fine! Also don't worry about whether or not he'll be in the baby's life, or whether he'll leave for a while and come back. He's the one that's going to be missing out on everything, so that's his problem. You really have no control over whether you can let him in the baby's life or not, because if he takes you to court he WILL get visitation, luckily they usually start out with supervised visitation in your home, so you won't have to just hand your baby over to a "stranger." (He'll be a stranger to him/her). My ex didn't come around until our daughter was 8 months old. I made sure that he had to visit her in my home until she felt comfortable with him, and until we had a custody order in the court saying that I had primary physical custody (if you don't have that court order, he could take your daughter and not bring her back and there wouldn't be a darn thing you could do about it... if you DO have that order and he did that, you could get him for kidnapping. That order is VERY important). Now our daughter is VERY comfortable with him, I can tell they love each other very much, and I feel more comfortable with him taking her.


PGagliani - July 31

I would just go on with you life and do what you need to do to take care you you and the baby. Don't "wait" on him, but one word of advise... If he does come around one day and want to see his child and be a part of his/her life, give him that chance so that your hands will be clean when that child gets older and wants to know where Daddy is!



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