How Involved Should He Be With The Child

3 Replies
Trin - August 25

Now that we have accepted to be single mums with the men in our lives not wanting to help out, how involved should we let them be when our babies are born, i know some may want to turn around want to come into our lives! not that they care about us but probably because the responsibility of looking after a pregnant woman is over and there is a beautiful baby! what do you think ladies?


eve - August 25

obviously my initial reaction (being in a similar situation) it f**k him, why should he be able to be around only when it is convenient for him. For the past eight and a half months this pregnancy has been a full time job for me! But the truth is it is not about us it is about our children, and unless the father is some kind of drug addict or child molester, then our children should have the benefit of having their fathers in their lives regardless of our relationships with the father.


barb - November 25

well I think sometimes these men are just scared, but once they see the baby the realize the mistake. I think I could forgive my ex for leaving me pregnant. I need the help. It's so much easier to forgive than to stay angry.


April - November 26

Maybe you'll luck out like I did and the father will just email you every 2 weeks or so saying he wants to see the baby, but never actually goes about setting up times or showing up... haha. What I would say is that he needs to EARN the privelages of fatherhood just like we have earned our privelages of motherhood. Make him come to visitation at YOUR house... SUPERVISED... make him do everything for the baby while he's there... guys may get off a LOT easier than we do with this whole thing... but at least we get to be there for more of our babies lives than the father. NOBODY can take the place of a mother... or even come remotely close. Our babies spend 9 months in our wombs.. they know us better than anyone else. It takes a paternity test to truly proove a biological father... and even then, the baby doesn't know them until they spend time with them. We actually have a lot of advantages over fathers.



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