I Am 4 Months Pregnant And My 28 Boyfriend Broke Up With Me

5 Replies
MICHELLE - June 29

Hi i am in the miltary,, i am 20 years old and i met a 28 year old man,, we met and we where doing great,, then the arguing started.. i got pregnant. And we still where fighting.he was happy for the baby b/c its he's first, He then decided one day after i had taken him out for he's birthday and bought him everything he wanted to say" he wanted to stay and really work this out,,, I never wanted a broken family,, no women does.. well the next day he went to use the phone to call he's mother and i was picking up he's notebooks,, when a planeticket reservation fell out... NAd a girl from New York was coming over to germany to meet him.. i first asked him if he knew her,, the lied,, theni showed him the papers and he said she was just a friend,,, i asked him if him and her where seeing each other..he said they where just friends.. i cryed b/c i knew deep in my heart he was lieing.he did not even tell her about me ,, so . i walked out of the romm for five mins and i went to my friends room down the hall i come back and he left ,,,like a coward.. then not 10 mins later he starts calling me... i did not pick up. b/c if he really wanted to talk he would of stayed,,, i cryed so much and controled my self for the baby. then he writes me and says he loves me but he feels that if we stay together things will getworse... but i feel he is just finding an excuse.. but he still wants to be there for the baby,,, So i told he can,, b/c i would never not let my child not know who he's father is... but it hurts so much b/c i love him,, he wrties me and emails me "he loves me and misses me"?.. i am confused ... and he says it might work later in the furture,,,, i tried so hard to keep our relationship together,,,, how can you love a women and just leave her at 4 months pregnant?? i also found out he had been planning on leaving me,,He promises he is going to PCs to a post in texas to come see the baby and me... butif he broke up wtih me, why would he still email me he loves me and he is going to come see me as well as the baby? what does this mean..he says he is not seeing no one that he does not want to make the same mistake twice//// he say he's sorry and he never meant to lie and hurt me,, I am moving back to my family and i am gettign out of the military,, and i am so said,, this is my first child,, my family is supporting me and they are happy for the baby but not b/c iam suffering... PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE


April - June 30

I went through kind of a similar situation, minus the military. I'm 23, my baby's father is 27. I had lived with him for about 6 months before I got pregnant. We had been fighting a little before I got pregnant, and afterwords he just started avoiding me. We both moved out of our apartment in January (I moved to my dad's, he moved to his parents) to save money. Long story short... he broke up with me a month later when I was 4 months pregnant. So I know how you feel there. Honestly, if things were rocky before you even got pregnant, it might be better that you're seperated for now. After my boyfriend and I broke up I started to feel better (not right away of course). He ended up avoiding me and getting a girlfriend, but strangly enough, not talking to him helped me. It feels better to me now that I just have myself and my baby girl to worry about, not some guy. I don't have to think about what he's doing, or if he's going to call me, or whether or not he really wants to be with me. Take this time apart from him to focus on yourself and your baby. You are one of the lucky ones who have a supportive family. I am also one of those lucky ones. I will tell you, you really learn to appreciate everything people do for you. I think I'm a better person now because of this pregnancy.. and having to be alone. I feel 100 times stronger than I was at the beginning, I've learned a lot about myself, and I'm honestly happier now that I'm not with the father. The last thing I wanted was a broken home, but honestly, if I would've stayed I would've been unhappy, and my baby girl would've sensed that and been unhappy too. I think sometimes it's actually better just to seperate. If you and your baby's father are meant to be together, he'll come around. Some guys just get scared and need a little space. So for now, just try your best to be happy for your baby. Try not to think about your ex. Things will get easier with time.


melissa - August 3

you have to let go and let live girl. It is harder to hold on to the pain then to let it go. I say you let bve apart of the chils life but not your.


chris - August 10

I can see that you are upset, maybe this guy really does care about you. But you know what he hasn't once proven or shown you that he loves you. If he did, he'd come see you, he would MAKE the time to see you, he would come clean with everything. Military does wierd things to people, if you are enlisted and have a personal relationship things can get real rough, trust is a big issue most times. I've got frineds and family in the military and the majority of them are divorced or still single for a reason. one male friend is divorced with a couple little girls, his ex went to live with her family. he still cares i see it in his face and he adores his children. Its hard to balance life in the military and a personal life. Be strong, focus on yourself and the baby, make sure you have his information so that court ordered or not he holds up his end in the responsibility of raising a child! I'm glad your moving back to your family, you need the stable loving enviornment. My ironically when I fiound out i was pregnant with my first, my b/f was also cheating on me. I told him and he thought it was some sort of game to keep him, i felt that he is the father and has the right to know, what he does with that information is his business. He has never met my child by his choice, that is his loss. and my child and I are definately better off. Best of luck to you.


~S~ - August 10

Michelle, I really think you need to let go of a possible relationship with him, this doesn't mean that you should empty him out of your heart, but don't sit around waiting for him to come to you, or for a possible future relationship, because what if it doesn't happen? You don't want your life to revolve around "what if's" because your baby needs you more than anything. You and your baby should be your one and only priority right now. I don't doubt that the father of your baby loves you, I'm sure he does but the thing is, I don't think he loves you in a way of being in a relationship with you. Rather he loves you - as a person, as the mother of his baby, but he's not in love with you, as a partner or lover. It obvious that he started to feel this way for awhile, but was probably afraid to tell you, because he didn't want to hurt you. I know that's SO unfair, why allow you to continue to believe in something that's not there? A lot of guys are like this, especially if they still care about you (as a person) it's hard for them to see you hurting. I know it's super hard to try not to read too much into his emails, the "i


~S~ - August 10

OOPS! I accidently pushed "submit" ....ANYWAYS, what I was trying to say was, try not to read too much into his emails, the I miss you comments and I love you, because he does love you, but not the way you want or need him too. His love for you is probably verging on the edge of being platonic. Anyways, take care of yourself, do what you need to do to make your life happier for you and your baby. Live life instead of waiting on a possible relationship with him, because it might never come along and you don't want to end up missing out on the things life has to offer you and your baby. What you might have to do is just accept the fact that an intimate relationship with him is over, but a friendship with him and relationship between him and his baby is not out of the question. Good luck!



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