I Don T Know If I Should Have An Abortion Or Not

9 Replies
carolinew0401 - October 21

Hello, I'm 19 and a sophomore in college with a full ride to a tier one school, and im 7 weeks pregnant. I don't know what to do. I want to keep the baby, but I already told my mom and I know she will not give me any support what-so-ever. It is not that she doesn't want to (although she is extremely upset), it is that she has neither the finances nor the time to give to helping me with the baby. I know I will no longer be able to go to school, as my boyfriend does not have a career either. My family hates my boyfriend, and I know they will not accept any child that comes from him; especially out of wedlock. I graduated top of my class...they will definitely see this as him ruining my life. However, I want to keep the baby. I don't know if I want to stay with the father, since I had found out 2 weeks before that he was cheating on me, and we broke up. However, I can't do this by myself. I can't even support myself, and I know my family will not contribute. I don't want to bring a child into this world without a strong family base (and how can I explain why we dont interact with my family? that is not fair to a child) and without a decent financial base (what happens when I can't give them the things they need, let alone want) but I dont want to have an abortion either. I want to have children, but when I have a career and can give them the best life possible...or at least a decent life. And I can't give that right now and its killing me. Advice? I'm so happy, but so sad at the same time...


carolinew0401 - October 21

I forgot to mention I was on the pill at the time, taking it correctly. The doctor that confirmed my pregnancy just said I was extremely fertile and that I had needed stronger pills. So I thought I was being responsible...It's not just like I was having unprotected s_x without weighing the consequences :( I never wanted to have to make this decision....


Grandpa Viv - October 21

Caroline, I feel for you! Few women relish the thought of ending a pregnancy, especially their first. Even so, between one third and one half of all USA women do it at some time in their reproductive years. After they have had a child or two they understand the sacrifices involved. You are a super smart woman. You have many more fertile years ahead of you. I encourage you to take control of your destiny, and make sure that the children you do have get the best possible start in life. GL!


hjholmes - October 28

Have you ever thought about the possibility of adoption? There are tons of loving people out there who would be happy to raise your child through open adoption and that way you could still know about your child as they grow up. My partner and I are looking to adopt, as an example, so before you decide to end a life, maybe think about adoption! smile. Good luck on whatever you decide!


bull2604 - November 2

Hi Caroline, Trust me we are sailing in a similar boat. But I think based on your current description and status of life, I would agree with Grandpa Viv's response. God loves us all and we all get a second chance. Soemtimes things turn out the other way around and the only reason might be that God's trying to teach us a lesson the hard way so that we dont repeat teh same mistake twice. God Bless and Good luck.


bull2604 - November 2

You can write back to me if you'd like to share anything on bull2604atgmaildotcom


JC3 - February 13

My husband & I would love to adopt another child...We have been blessed with an adopted son who is about to turn 1 and I am sure he would love a brother/sister(s). I am a stay at home mother, we live in VA, we are Caucasian (if that matters)...I am 28 & my husband 32. We have a wonderful family life & plenty of room to expand our family more. If anyone is choosing adoption for their child & would be interested in us as the adoptive parents, we would be more than thrilled tp hear from you. You can email us at jadecoleman42 at yahoo . com


babykembo - March 17

im in the same boat as you Caroline. although the guy im pregnant to is Married :/ so my situation is a lot more complicated. although i dont know what to do. i have had a misscarrage before and that was sooo painful on the body and heart and i dnt know if i could go through it agian,but then on the other hand id be a single mum, no income, as im a farmer. my family would suport me 100% of the way i do know that but he doesnt wnt more kids and i dont know if i should do whats right by him or not. we are very good friends. get along soo well and its killing me that if i do keep it i might loose one of my best friends, but if i dont keep it then will i be able to cope??? its sucha hard choice to make


searching - March 19

reading all the responses you got makes me sad and encouraging too. Yes we get choices and chances, however this child that you carry only has this one chance. This child will NEVER EVER be conceaved ever again. No two people are alike, and no two brothers or sisters are the same. So you must know that this child will not be again, if you choose that.


Paulaand SimonAdopt - March 29

I hop you did choose adoption. If you haven't found a family let me know. My husband and I are looking to adopt a baby girl or baby boy regardless of race email me: contact at paulaandsimonadopt dot com



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