I Don T Love Him Should I Stay

3 Replies
ella - March 14

he lied to me and deceived me. among many, many other lies, he told me he was sterile. well, i'm not a dumb girl so i told him to use a condom anyways. he said he would and he stopped to get one. anyways, when we were done, he pulled out and no condom. he made up some story about how it must have slipped off but that's when i knew he didn't put one on. sure, it sounds like i should have known, or checked, or felt it, or whatever, but i trusted him and he deceived me. fact is, now i'm pregnant and i can't stand him. the more i think about how he trapped me, the less i want to stay with him. we moved in together before i found out that he had lied so we now live in this beautiful house, we have a great life (except for all of this) and he is eager for me to stay and for us to raise the baby together. i don't really have a lot without him, since he got me to move from canada to the us just to be with him--all while he was lying to me about everything) and i left everything. staying here would be the easy thing to do (in some ways) because everything is taken care of, and he wants to be a part of the child's life. leaving would make me more happy because i don't want to feel trapped by some guy who got me pregnant who i don't respect and barely like. i don't want to use my animosity towards him as a reason to leave my child without a father. i really don't know what to do. any advice would be appreciated. thanks


krc - March 15

well i dont know about you but everytime I've had s_x where I guy used a condom there is ALWAYS the moment where one of you must stop what your doing, open the wrapper and slide it on. How could you not know if he put one on? Do you lay there with your eyes shut and ear muffs on? Or did you think they magically put it on. Im not trying to insult your intelligence...but I seriously dont understand. I've had alot of s_x with a fair share of men and NOT ONE was soo slick I didn't notice them putting on a condom !!!! Anyways with that off my chest lets get to what really matters. I'd be confused myself If I was in your situation. I was with someone for 3 years I didn't respect and we did live a decent life together. Over time the more I looked at him the more I resented him. We did not have children though but I can say I never got my happiness until I left him....knowing full well the gra__s was NOT greener on the other side. Times were hard....they got worse before they got better. But in less than one year I met the father of my baby ( im now 20 weeks along ) and I look back and am soo thankful I got out of that mentally unsatisfactory relationship. If there isn't a way for you to teach yourself to respect and admire this guy again than I suggest you should leave him cuz in the long run your feelings of being trapped will turn into spite and resentment which then will lead to you having a nasty att_tude and your child wont undertand why mommy hates daddy. And if your child sees you treating daddy with no respect than how will you expect your child to show people respect? Try if you can to not focus on him " trapping you ", but remember those things that drew you to him. His good qualities. Does he have them? Does he treat you with respect? Do the pros outweigh the cons? And one more thing.... about you not being able to stand him...well I love my dad to pieces, he's never bothered me a day in my life, but now that im pregnant for some reason I can't explain he drives me nuts. I notice every little thing about his whole mental and physical person, sometimes I have feelings of disgust and have to leave the room !!! I think it's my hormones messing with my head...im hoping after my son is born I'll return to good loving daughter,LOL . And are you happy about this baby even though it wasn't planned. If you are than try to stop telling yourself, " that jerk....he trapped me !! " Your wasting your energy on the wrong emotions here !!!!


krc - March 15

oh...i forgot about the 1st part of your comment about him having many other lies. How much did he deceive you? What else did he lie about? Were the annoying but harmless white lies...or big serious lies. Don't get me wrong, a lie is a lie but im curious at how he deceived you. I've known guy that seriously thought they were sterile because they smoked weed or did drugs...they can be soooo dumb sometimes. Did he ever try to back up his sterileness with proof? Or hate to sound mean here but may you have been a bit naive?


April - March 16

It sounds to me like he wanted to get you pregnant to trap you... seeings how he told you he was sterile and that he had a condom on... although, didn't you see him put the condom on?? If I were you, I really wouldn't stay in a situation I was on happy with. Your child will sense it. In my opinion, raising a child in a loveless relationship is worse than raising a child in a single-parent home. Where would you go if you left? Back to Canada? If you DO want to do that, you'd better do it while your still pregnant or you'll probably going to have problems leaving the country.



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