I Married A Pathological Liar Long

10 Replies
hermicrophone - January 10

It's a very long story, and I don't want to get too into it. I posted here back in October, we worked through our mess until December. We both moved to NY with my parents *so I could get back on my feet money wise*. He left back to Georgia. I think he had another girl there. Everything that had ever came out of his mouth was one big lie. Every time his lips were moving was just a lie after another lie after another. Fake people, fake deaths, fake illnesses, his mother isn't really dying, no one in his family knew we got married *we were "sooo in love" we couldn't wait, got it done, then were planning on a big ceremony another date.*... his family didn't know we were pregnant (and they still don't know any of this).... I know he's cheated, and possibly was cheating on me with girls he met online even living here. He lost his job ON PURPOSE. He failed a physical for a warehouse job ON PURPOSE. He was not getting a job, ON PURPOSE. Knowingly I was pregnant and didn't want to work much longer. Well, I'm 6 months pregnant and I'm working in a warehouse. I can't afford to quit, and I hide that I'm pregnant. I think everyone knows by now, just doesn't want to say anything because I haven't. I work long hours on my feet non stop. Well, when he left, he strung me along saying it was a mistake. Blah blah blah. Pretended like he would be out with his mother, when really, he was out with a female. He strung me along for almost a month until I got sick of knowing something was going on but no proof. I got a hold of an ex girlfriend of his who spilled the beans. I was so heart broken I couldn't even think straight. She told me he's had a problem telling the truth since he was a kid. He admitted everything to me, and at first sounded a bit sorry, but then turned it around on me and made it seem like everything was my fault. This went on for weeks, and I told him I'd forgive him and blah blah. He said we'd make it work, but kept giving me reasons why he couldn't come back to New York to live with me. I finally told him either he comes back or forget it. I haven't talked to him in weeks now. Even when we were "working things out" he wouldn't look at the ultra sound pictures, not talk about the baby at all, when i wanted to talk about baby names he'd say he has to go, and just all this stuff. I've came to the conclusion that he just doesn't want anything to do with his child. We got pregnant on purpose. He refuses to speak about the child, and one time I left a message on his mother's house line for him telling him I had to talk about our baby.. he flipped out threatening if I ever call his house again he'd call the police. I've called it before and left messages, even the day before, but when I mentioned the baby thing he went ape shit. He doesn't believe me that I'm going to get child support from him. He thinks that just because I've got little to no money that I can't and WONT waste my time getting a lawyer into this. Ha, is he wrong. I can't even imagine the look on his mothers face when she gets the details on what happened. From what I've heard, however, things like this has happened before and everyone in his family knows he's a pathological liar. He's an evil man, from what he's done and lied about. I think he's a narcissist and I think he's got personality disorders on top of everything. He used me, he used my money, he used my time, and he used my family. Now he's bailed out. He refuses to work. He refuses to be apart of his child's life. He refuses to help with buying baby clothing or things for the baby. He left me in a tight spot. I've already got a two year old. I want him to be apart of his son's life, no matter how screwed up in the head he is. As long as I know he wont harm the baby. I don't think he would. I really hope, no matter how bitter I am towards him for everything, that he's in his son's life. It'll kill me to see this child grow up without a father. No matter if it's just him spending a weekend out of a month with him. My two year old has his daddy, and I can't imagine my second son asking why his dad won't be apart of his life but his big brother's is. I cry for hours and hours just thinking that this man wont be in his life. We planned this child. I know how important a dad is, and to see my son know that his daddy is always there makes me so happy. No matter if him and I are together or not. I really wanted to make a family for myself. Get on my feet, and have another beautiful child with the man I was madly in love with. I realized the day I found out that everything was a big scam and I started seeing who my husband REALLY was that I wasn't in love with him any longer. I lied to myself saying I wanted things to work out and I'd forgive him, but seeing who he really is.. I knew it'd never work out. I don't want to be apart of his life, I don't want to be friends, I don't want to be in contact honestly.. but for my child, I want him to be there. No matter how much I loathe this man right now. I just pray every day that he'll turn himself around, for himself, and then for his son.


Teddyfinch - January 10

well, apart from the being pregnant, i've been exactly where you are. it's actually scary how much this guy sounds like my ex. if he's not there, then he's going to look bad. someday you'll find the perfect man and he'll be the best dad to your babies. my ex was the same way though. he would claim his father beat him with a broom and when i asked to see the bruises that he said he had, i'd see nothing and be told "oh i heal fast". he wouldn't get a job. lost his jobs repeatedly when the apartment was in my name. so when he left a friend and i talked about him and at the time i didn't know i was having fertility problems. i figured it was him, so i told her i thought he shot blanks. well i guess they figured since i said that they didn't need protection so my friend slept with him and they have a boy now. so he ran off to philadelphia claiming he was in trouble with the law because of me reporting him for no car insurance. that's funny because when he did get a ticket for no insurance, my mother forked out $800 to keep us from losing our car and then another $625 the next year for insurance. he would take the money my mother would give me to feed us and buy Coke and cigs with it (not the drug coke, the soda). lol your exes name wouldn't happen to be james would it? anyway, good riddance to bad rubbish. no one needs someone like that. like i said, someday you'll find that knight in shining armour just like i did and you'll be so happy that your ex won't even be worth the poop on your shoes.


hermicrophone - January 10

Well, I'm glad I'm not alone in the situation. The things this guy lied about, holy wow! One time he cried for hours over his fake friend who died. She was not a real person, and I don't know how he got out the tears. He did things like the several other times, pretending he had an illness of some sort. I've supported him from day one. The marriage, I paid for, our rings, I paid for. Even when we were dating I paid for everything. I guess that should of been a red flag then, but I just "fell in love with him so hard". He fed me everything I wanted to hear, I was easy prey. He knew at the time I was going through a rough time. I had a lot of bad things going on in my life, and I was ready to just settle down. I never knew there were such people like him out there, literally. I always liked to live in my bubble of yanno there aren't always nice people out there, but no one is so down and dirty to just use you and once he gets tired of playing this game he drops you like a hot potato and moves on to the next. No, his name isn't James! LOL. He goes by a few different names, though. It's usually "Jonny".


Teddyfinch - January 12

OOHHHH my gawd! my ex would get all flustered over a girl he used to "love" in arizona that had died of something and if i ever said anything about her, a beating i would get. and he'd be like "oh i love you but i'll always love my old girlfriends too". that didn't set right with me lol. but yeah, i would be the only one with a job sometimes or he'd mooch off my mother and father to the point where my parents almost lost their house. i'll describe him just incase lol. i'm still worried here haha. he has an underbite and like 1 eyebrow. 6'2" and arms with a few tattoos last time i saw him, the ugly thing lol.


hermicrophone - January 12

I think Jons a bit shorter. He's got two tattoos. Cross on his arm and a rose on his neck. Yeah, he said he had a girlfriend who died in his arms... I threw it up once, I got no reaction from him. Therefore, even back then, I realized he lied about it and several other things. Once I mentioned something about one of his ex girlfriends, the one he told me had raped him and c___p, he'd flip out. I'm still trying to figure out if she has his baby or not, too.


jezebel1018 - January 12

LOLL teddy i was just about to ask if his name was steve...he sounds EXACTLY like this wacko i dated, he was in love w/some chick from atlanta & kept meeting all these women online. i did here he got someone pregnant & moved out of state but who knows what to believe w/pathological liars. hes really short though...like 5'6" something like that. im sorry this is happening hermicrophone :(


jezebel1018 - January 12

omg the girlfriend that died in his arms wow , so did that guy i dated...she allegedly lived in hawaii...i just read that part & my stomach sank. he was always coming up w/ fake illnesses. his mom & dad used to tell me i should be the one girl that stays w/him even though he lies, i was like are you people insane?? he was in the reserves & he lied about being in iraq, telling people he was there meanwhile i personally saw him here. i dont understand people like that.


Teddyfinch - January 13

hermicrophone: how old is your ex? lol i think i got the "i was raped by my babysitter" story once from my ex. and my ex has a cross tattood on the back of one of his arms. jezebel: yeah those kind of people amaze me. i mean i know we all go through our little lies we tell to make ourselves sound cool when we're in our teens, but when it doesn't go away, that's the problem.


hermicrophone - January 13

Hey, wait.. I lived in Atlanta (well, basically) and he moved out of state with me.. whaaat lol Just kidding. But, really, I did live in Atlanta and he moved to NY with me. Nope, once a liar always a liar. People like that don't change. Even if they had the ambition TO change, they still don't. It's a sickness, and from what I've heard it's rare that someone can take control of it again. I know he's out screwing around on me, and I kind of think his ex girlfriend might be making a move on him again. The same girl I found out all this information from, but yanno what.. I say, have him. I don't want him, and if you want to go for it knowing everything he's done to you and me go for it! I'm not that stupid, however. :oP He's 23, I think. LOL. One day I asked him a silly question from a questionnaire I had to fill out for medicaid, and I was like "..so, you'll be 23 still when the baby is born, right?" He said "Ummm, I don't know. Wait, how old am I? When was I born?" "Umm, you were born on *such and such* so yea, you'd be 23 still." "Oh, I don't know.. check my myspace" I was kind of like...uhhh, okay I think he's just messing around! haha.


jezebel1018 - January 14

LOLL lord have mercy he cant even keep his age straight...im sorry you had to go through all this mess, i know its painful


Macy - January 14

GEEZ! Whew, seems like I had a narrow escape. I dated a guy for about 6 months, also totally gone in the head, don't know what posessed him. When I broke up with him I told my sister I think I'm making the biggest mistake of my life (breaking up). I was so stupid back then. Then a couple of years on a dated a guy who lied about everything to everyone. When I finally found out just how badly and with how many girls I've been cheated on, again, I was heartbroken. I'm happily married now to a wonderful, honest man. When I look back, I can see how many kinds of losers those guys were, but I also know that it took a lot of strenght to disentangle myself from them. Good luck, have courage and stay strong in your convictions, you can stay free of them!



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