Just Found Out And ALONE

5 Replies
catbillie13 - May 26

I just joined this forum in hopes of some advice. I just found out that I'm two months pregnant. My boyfriend and I had previously broken up as he is moving to Seattle in two weeks for a job promotion. I'm in KC. We have remained best friends, but we are still not "together". I am receiving all kinds of advice about abortion, because I am only 24, in the middle of school and they feel that having a baby will ruin my life, career, plans, etc.. I don't believe in that and am going to have this baby. He wants me to move to Seattle. His new job comes with a great raise. However, I've never even been to Seattle. I wouldn't know anyone. All of my friends, family, the job I love, doctors I trust, are here in KC. He wants to be there throughout the pregnancy though for all of the doctor appts., etc. I feel so alone right now and because his move is coming up so quickly, so pressured and stressed. I don't know what to do..........Any advice?


Jenn - May 26

Well, I have to say that for first time moms it is scary. The whole what to do and how is it going to change my life. And, with that, things never go as planned-but you have to decide what is right for YOU. Do you think that he is in this for the long term-like marriage and the whole works? Or does he just want to be friends but be around for baby too? Cause as I see it-he has a great job, there are schools in seattle to continue your education, make new friends, etc. If you feel rushed,stay behind but tell him you need to think about it and perhaps join him after your ready. this is something that really only you and him can sit down and answer. 24 isn't too young to have babies. Hell, I will be 25 in two weeks and am having my second son this thursday. I am married, in coolege and all that jazz. I hadn't planned on staying where I am-but things change-I got pregnant -and we had our son and then we got married and it kind of whirlwinded from their. My family is about an hour north-which doesn'tseem so far but with gas prices I don't get to see them too much. But we call, and I have made new friends in the area and things have wroked out for me-I wish the best for you.


catbillie13 - May 26

He is actually in Seattle right now on business. He has decided to move out there. He says it will be career suicide if he doesn't make this move. Now I'm left feeling even more alone and even more upset. I want my baby to have a dad but Seattle is so far away from KC. He'll rarely see the baby??? Thanks for all the advice though Jenn. I really appreciate it.


Been There - May 26

You're not with him, but he thinks you should pick up and move somewhere else for his convenience? It's nice he wants to be there, but what about your life? You should really think about moving to someplace where you are leaving your support system to be near a man who is not with you for his convenience. I understand he wants to be in his child's life, but where does that leave you? It would be different if you were together and commited to each other or married. But just picking up and leaving so he can feel comfortable, whether you are or not, doesn't seem fair. It's your decision, but ask yourself what you are gaining by leaving your world behind for him. I'm not saying this will happen, but what if you go out there and he doesn't even pay you much attention? I mean, other than him attending doctors appointments with you, what else will you be getting from him? You could end up feeling even more alone. I wish you the best and I hope I've given you some things to think about so you can make a good decision.


New Here - May 26

I was just wondering how long you and the baby's father were together before you broke up? Also, do you still have feelings for him and hope that you can get back together? If so, I would talk to him about this. It sounds like you have a good relationship and have been able to remain friends but what do you really want and why did you break up in the first place? I think that if there was the intent of you two working things out (if that's what you both want) then it might be worth making the move to Seattle to start a new life together. It might seem scary to leave your current home, but it might also be an exciting adventure to try a new place. I a__sure you if you move, you will find good doctors, another job, new friends, and everything else. However, if it is definite that the two of you are only going to remain just friends, I do not necessarily think you should uproot your entire life because of his job.


CHELSEY - June 30

im 22 in college and 14 weeks, I know all the stuff the people are saying and the looks, my ex lives in brevade only 30 mins away but it may as well be mars. haveing a kid is a big thing, the biggest youll do in life so if you are comfortable and happy close to your friends and family stay close to them, if he was serious the child and spending time with it would be more important than his career



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