Looking For Visitation Advice

1 Replies
staceyssa - March 5

I am pregnant by my ex-bf. Originally, he said he wanted us to work things out(we had broken up before I found out), get a place together and raise our baby. He did not want to raise another baby living with his parents.(His daughter is 22 months) After about a month, we broke up again. It was obvious to me he wasn't making any effort to make it work and I refused to be te only one doing that. He wants to be involved with our baby(joint custody), wants to go to my dr appts, and wants to be in the delivery room. However, I have found out that he has lied to me and sometimes I feel like he does not respect me. He also says he will not go to the pre-natal class with me. I told him if he could not be honest and respect me, he could not go to the drs appts and if he would not take the class, he could not be in the delivery room. Sometimes I feel like an a** for saying that, but othertimes I know I am right. If he is going to continue to be this way(lie and disrespect), I want to get something started letting him know my position on visitation. I told him I do not want child support(don't need it and he can't afford it). I am planning on br___tfeeding if possible and therefor the visitation would need to be limited. I would like for the visitation to be only at my house in the beginning, but am wondering if anyone has any ideas on what might happen if he should take me to court. The bonus is I can affort a very good atty, but I really do not want to have to go that route. I would much rather work it out between the two of us and either have the agreement notorized, or signed by the court. I know that if things continue, he will want something in writing before the birth so he does not have to go through the stuff he did with his daughter's mom. Any ideas or advice?? Sorry so long and thanks in advance.


April - March 5

I'm no expert... but I've been studying this same topic for a loooooong time... and actually... what's usually suggested by the courts (in most states that I've looked at) is that visitation be held in the mother's home (especially if you're b___stfeeding, 2-3 days a week for 2 hours each visits for a few months.... then the father can start taking the baby out of the home for a few hours every couple days. Then it gradually increases after that. There's usually no overnights until the baby's about a year old. Then the weekends begin. Go to www.childcustody.org for more information. They have forums for visitation and custody that you can look at and ask questions, they even have forums for specific states. Also... if you write up an agreement... don't get it notorized, it will be invalid. The only way it will be enforcable is if it goes through the court.



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