My Boyfriend Got Another Woman Pregnant Advice Needed

78 Replies - February 16

i found out a year ago that my boyfriend got another girl pregnant i found messages on his Facebook between him and the other girl taking about a baby I'm not sure what happen but she wrote at least my little angel can rip the messages i found were to much for me to handle and even though it happened nine or so years ago i only found out a year ago and it feels like my heart has been ripped apart i cry everyday and my heart aches so bad I'm still with my boyfriend but deep down I'm not happy i love him but i hate him at the same time i have to kids with him and at the time he got this girl pregnant we were on a break I've asked him what happened he told me it was not true i said people don't write this stuff for no reason but he just won't tell me the truth I've even spoken to the girl and she says nothing happened why wont they just tell me the truth the reason i found this out was because me and my boyfriend shared a Facebook and i saw her name in the block list but she was on he's Facebook unblocked i asked why is she blocked on our page but on yours just fine he made up more poor excuses i love him but I'm not happy and i don't know what to do.


Grandpa Viv - February 17

Just my opinion, but things would work a lot better if everyone brought this into the open. This nine year old child is his and he has some responsibility to it which may include acting as father. He has demonstrated his attachment to you by sticking with you through two children - don't wreck your relationship by throwing hissy fits any time she contacts him. In this marriageless age she is like the divorced ex, and there are zillions of families that make workable relationships out of that.


BEEGIRL - April 15

So I also have something similar happen to me. I had cancer and lost my ability to have kids. I'm only 24. So I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, and for about 3 months we took a break (his idea). Well we have been doing great since we had he break up. But during that time, he had slept with a girl. And today he throws this bomb on me that she is having his baby. I'm so crushed, Im not even sure what to think. Also keep in mind she is young. 19 to be exact. We haven't gotten to talk much about it, due to it being on my lunch break. I told him I would support him regardless, because I love him that much. He seems really upset about the whole thing, and Im not sure what to do as well. I want to make sure we are stable in our relationship that this isn't going to tare us apart, because they were doing this "fling" the whole time we were separated. I am more upset at the fact that I wanted to be the one that would be able to give him a baby one day, even though its almost nearly impossible, but it would take a lot of money. So that's another thing that is getting to me. I also cant tell anyone that Im close with because he doesn't want people to know yet, so I thought I would try and get some advice from strangers lol. Please help!


Grandpa Viv - May 27

BEEGIRL, he wanted to be sure you were the one so went out to look for greener pasture. It seems he has decided you are the better bet. Now you have a golden opportunity to cement the relationship with an adopted baby of his. Will she go along? What about joint custody?


erfly91 - June 8

Ok so I found out on the 1/1/2015 that my partner of almost 8 years and father of my 2 yr old son had another child who is 9 months younger than my son! Anyway I was ed off at him, but I couldn't hate him as I wasn't so great myself but that's not the point! Anyway I found out he cheated on me 3 days before I gave birth to his first born son! I was the one who made contact with the other woman because he told me it wasn't her fault he lied to her! After speaking to her she told me found out a few days later that he had already had a new family anyway I ask myself this question all the time "why did she keep the baby or why did she say anything"? She has a daughter and I know that every child deserves to know who their dad is but if it's to a complicated situation I personally wouldn't keep a baby or tell the father if he already had a family! Basically she is starting to get on my nerves because she is trying to tell my partner what he needs to do to be in his daughters life! I have told him numerous times that I will support him through but also that he should consider getting a paternity test done, not only to confirm that he is the father but also so he has as much rights to her as her mother does! She told him he needs to call her and txt her once a weeks if he wants to be a part of her life, now for me that is a little too much as he already has a life and we both work full time so our afternoons are our time and time to spend with our son. I also don't see why he needs to call so much when the little girl isn't even talking yet and has no idea about who he is just yet! It still is very uncomfortable for me to accept him talking to the mother, I can understand that he will need to call all the time when the little girl is 5 because he will actually be talking to her and not the mother. The mother has told me that she does not see my partner as anything else than a father to her daughter! But I don't know her and am beginning to think maybe she wants more with my partner! I have decided to cut myself off from talking to her because the more I talk to her the more I get annoyed with her and her demands! She has no right to demand things from my partner, he calls when he calls why can't she accept that! If anything I will be the one to demand things from him if we were to ever break up I would expect him to call all the time for our son! Basically I just need some more advice on how to deal with it and see if there is anyone else out there who has or is in my situation please help!


Grandpa Viv - June 8

Hi Erfly. This is particularly annoying because he cheated on you while you were about to deliver. What a bummer! Maybe you were avoiding sex together at the time out of fear of hurting the baby, or for other reasons. We hear from plenty of women who a) are against abortion and are b) horrified that their baby will not know the father. Her position is understandable. Can you accept that your son has a half sister, closer than a cousin? Won't it be natural for them to play together? I don't think she is threatening your relationship and in fact the best way to ensure she does not is to befriend her and at the same time let her understand firmly whose man this is. The way you are handling this seems likely to drive a wedge between you and your man. Why don't you try reaching out to bring her into your family circle of acquaintance just as though she were a divorced ex. I think this will defuse her anxiety and set you all on a calmer path. Talk it over with your husband and get his input.


jaylee - July 20

we had the same problem, and it's really hard. you should make sure that he is only doing responsiblity for the child.


pregnant1sttime - August 7

I am in this situation right now except Im the pregnant one. Pregnant and alone while the father of my child is sweet talking a women who is showing no self respect in continuing a relationship with a man whom had his pie and eats it too. Being alone in this situation is horrible and if you are a person with empathy you would step away from the situation and allow the two people who have made a child together at least try to make a go of it. You are being a doormate, a lap dog. With that being said I perfere my child learn strong character traits not traits that can be taught by a person who is will put up with BS from a man. Thus I want my child no where near a women such as yourself. Step out of the situation and ask yourself "what is my role in this situation?" You literally have no business being involved. 

I am strong and I will fight to protect my child from growing up with an idiot for a role model.


Nicole518 - August 18

I'm sorta in the same situation as everyone else on this post, Me and my boyfriend been together for almost a year now and probably 2 months ago we took a break for just 1 month we got back together shortly after and everything was great until he showed me a Facebook message from a woman saying, "I see you in a relationship you look happy" "but we will keep in touch" and attached to that was a sonogram... When he showed me this I automatically laughed cause I was just stuck in shock and he later told me when we took our break he had sex with this girl and she told him she was pregnant she said she was going to get an abortion at the time and when we got back together he didn't mention it because he thought she had handled that till the Facebook message that she had sent... I immediately got weak took a shower and burst out in emotions, my boyfriend already has 2 kids a 10 year old and a 7 year old with 2 other women and I love those girls, I also have 1 son a 5 year old whose father died while I was pregnant.. I really wanted a baby by boyfriend but now I don't know if that's such a good idea or not cause 4 baby mommas is just a little ridiculous he really wants to be with me and build a family with me... I'm just not sure if I should stick around for this if she is pregnant because that's just too much but I love him so much also by the facebook messages it sounds as if she just wants to break us up because she sees him back with me I'm not sure but I might also be pregnant because we was planning before all this came up, what type of advice would u guys give me 


Grandpa Viv - August 19

This guy has the ability to charm the pants off any woman he wants. You may end up being the 4th baby momma and not the last.


Debra1013 - September 3

Hello everyone my name is Debra I am sitting basically in the same situation I've been with my boyfriend for nine years and I just found out that he got someone pregnant I feel hurt and betrayed I do love him very much but I just don't know what to do about my situation unfortunately I cannot have children and he wanted a child and he felt that having a baby with someone would complete him. I'm looking for guidance and advice on how to deal with the situation were supposed to be married November 8 and I'm not even sure if that's going to happen now I have a lot of mixed feelings even though he's telling me that the relationship between him and her never actually happened it was just an agreement for her to carry a child for him but I just don't see a normal woman having a child from somebody just because


Debra1013 - September 3

The number doesn't work I called it 


Confusedaf - September 8

I am kind of on the exact same boat as you... My boyfriend and I had been together for 4 years and we had some problems so we broke up for about a month or so. He called me after 3 weeks crying and telling me he f_cked up and that he was so sorry. I guess he went and had sex with his best friend's sister, and there was a chance that she might be pregnant.

I was devastated to say the least. I am a huge pro lifer so Abortion isn't even an option, and I'm so depressed because he was ALWAYS so careful NOT to get me pregnant, yet one drunken night with a stranger (They never really talked, she was just there that time) And he throws all caution to the wind and has unprotected sex with her without a care in the world. I get that he was drunk, but That's the part that kills me. I had a few pregnancy scares and I was so disapointed everytime that I realized they were false alarms.

So we kept in contact until she could confirm whether she was pregnant or not.

Well this labor day weekend, he was not replying to anything i was calling and texting and nothing. Today, he finally called me and confessed to me why he was ignoring me. Turns out she took a store bought pregnancy test, and it came out positive. I guess he was hiding from the world. He sounded so broken. I Was so hopeful that she wasn't, and when he admited to it, it Shattered my heart.
He grew up without his dad and doesn't want to do that to his child. He is litteraly willing to have a relationship with this girl that he doesn't even know, for the happiness of that baby. 
I know that  it's most likely not gonna work, and he even admited it himself, but he has to try, or else he will feel like a coward, and he doesn't want to be like his father..
What do I do. Do I just let him go, and move on with my life?
We were already planning on getting married and everything.
He's the guy that took my virginity, I just want someone to tell me I'm not stupid for wanting to give him another chance even tho Sex is a huge deal to me. I Got with him when I was 17 years old. I am now 21 and he's 23. Please help me.


Bubbles123 - October 1

Hey Sarah,

how's the situation going? I have got myself in a similar situation, I was going out with my boyfriend and then he found out he got this other girl pregnant. We're best mates who have developed our friendship into something and we have something amazing, but the last 9 months have been so tough. She doesn't know about me, well she thinks I was a work fling and then after 7 months I found a load of messages on his phone about them making a go as a family. I confronted him and he said that the whole situation was messy that he just said anything to make her happy as he was worried she would take the baby away and didn't want to say we were serious. After a lot of discussions, we are back together and the baby has been born. He told her he didn't love her or want to play happy families, but he wants to be there for his daughter. I'm so confused about what to do as everyone thinks I'm crazy to put myself through this but I love him so much that I can't imagine him not in my life. The whole thing is a mess, I wish he was honest with her from the start. 


jennybush - February 27

After being in relationship with my husband for nine years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is (LAVENDERLOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM } tel.+2347053977842) you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything.   


tatiandoug - September 3

My Name is Tatiana, I was married to my husband for 8 years and we were both bless with three children living together as family until 2011 when things was no longer the way the was [when he lost his job]. But when he later gets a new job 5 months after, he started behaving strange and don't even come home sometimes pretending that his new job is so tight. Only for me to find out that he was having an affair with the lady that gave him the job. Since that day, when i called him, he don't longer pickup my calls. Yet my husbands just still keep on seeing the lady. Until I met a very good friend of my who was also having a similar problem, who introduced me to this priest. But i told her that if it has to do with things that i am not interested, but she said that it has no negative effect. She gave me the spell caster's e-mail address and phone number. When i contacted him, he told me the requirement after the spell has worked so i decided to work with him. I was very shocked when my husband came home on the third day and started begging for all that he has done wrong to me and our children. This testimony is just the price i have to pay for the good work that this great priest has done in my marriage. This man is good and he is the author of my happiness. His e-mail address templeofpermanenthealing (at) hotmail. com



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