My Family Wants Me To Abort

30 Replies
SLP - January 29

I am 21, and I wll be 22 when my baby is born in October. I found out a few days ago that I am pregnant. I don't know that I feel comfortable with having an abortion, but my mother, father, brother, and his fiance all want me to terminate the pregnancy. It seems like such an emotional thing that I'm not sure I could handle. I know raising a child as a single mother in school (I have 1&1/2 years left, and I really want to finish) will be tough, but I really feel like I can do anything I need to. I live at home right now, so I would be imposing the baby on my parents. They wouldn't kick me out and have told me that whatever I decide they will be completely behind me. Will it be selfish of me to have the baby when my whole family doesn't want it?


- January 29

no, it wouldnt, i think its up to u what u do, u can go to school and have kids. people do it all the time. if u dont have an abortion, u can always think about adoption!! good luck


g - January 29

No way! Its up to you and by all means you keep this baby. You will get on your feet, even if you have to take some brakes. I to was in school and temporarly had to drop out because of complications. I already have a child so it's hard but my kids are so worth it! An abortion is so seriious and for me i don't think i could ever do it. Medical maybe but even then hmm? You should never base your decision especilly on this subject on what they want, its now all about this little life growing in you. So be brave and good luck to you SLP.


SLP - January 30

My mother told me that I can't not have an abortion just because I would feel guilty. The flip side is that if I didn't keep the child it would be just because I feel guilty. I told my brother that tonight, and I told him that if I do choose to keep this child I need him to get on board and be happy for me. He promised he would, he just wants me to think it through. I respect my family a lot, and they generally make good decisions. That's why I'm having a hard time not "going with grain" on this one... I'm terrified of what they'll say if/when I tell them I'm going to keep it. I know they'll be supportive, I just can't stand the thought of causing my parents so much worry.


yungmama - January 30

You may think that in the beginning you are just keeping this baby in order to not feel guilty but you will soon realize that you have love for this little life. If anything atleast have the baby and put it up for adoption. Give someone else the chance to raise this precious one. Good Luck!


nikol - January 30

Don't worry about what they think. In the end, if it makes you happy they will be happy for you. Maybe not right away but it will happen. My aunt who I'm very close with told me to get an abortion. She said it would be the worste mistake I ever made if I had this baby since I'd be raising it alone. It was hard but I told her it would be worse for me if I didget one. I couln't live with myself. Eventually she accepted it. This is how I think of it; I'm adopted and my mother had me when she was seventeen. If a seventeen year old can make the decision not to get an abortion then it would just be irresponsible of me to get one. It's a selfish decision to get one I think. Theres always adoption. I'm not saying abortion is wrong in all cases, some people have to get one. I think you will feel alot better if you decide to keep it. Once you and the people you love see this little bundle of joy, they'll wonder how they could of thought of abortion in the first place. Good luck with your decision. : )


jg - January 30

No it would not be selfish for you to go against your families wishes and keep your baby. It would be selfish though, to kill an innocent life because it suits your family to do so. Of course you can cope with it - and you will no doubt find the support you will need both with your family, and on this forum. Have some faith in yourself and do all you can to give this baby a happy life. Good luck.


g - January 30

SLP- when my grandpa found out he blew! But he is getting more and more use to it so is the rest of my family that was mad. Funny thing is i'm 28 years old1 So they will get over it eventuly. Disapointing them is hard but you know, once they see what a beutiful ,loving, and inocent baby this is and what a great mom you will make, things will go smoother. They just want the best for you and going to school with kids is hard but it will be ok. I look at my daughters little face everyday and thank God that shes here, along with this soon. I will provide for my kids and things will getter better for you as well. I am always on this forum, as is alot of us so keep coming back to get support. This forum is the best thing besides family. Everybody needs help and support and some are on here just to help! :) You are now here to prove something to your little one and then you, then in the proccess your family. When your baby is grown up and around your age you will feel the same way about your child having the best life possible and how they would handle something like this as we all will! Thats what makes your family,ours and going down the line so loving!


Layla - January 31

Its weird how similar our situations are. I am also 21yrs old, pregnant, and have 1&1/2 years of college left. I decided to keep the baby a long tima ago though. I'm now 17 weeks pregnant. I decided against an abortion because I knew I just couldnt handle the after affects. I struggled with my decision for a long while after I made it but now that I'm at a point where I can feel my baby move inside me, I've heard and seen its little heartbeat and I wonder how I could have ever even entertained the thought of an abortion. Like you the ppl in my life thought that it would be best for me to terminate the pregnancy but I knew that while decision affected them because I live with my mom it was nothing compared to the affects an abortion would have on me and ultimately the life of this baby. I'm finishing up this semester of college and the baby is due in July. I am also working part time. I have every intention of finishing school. It will be hard but with the help of family and friends I'm determined to get it done. You can do it too. While its ok to listen to your family you have to make this decision yourself. Its your baby, your decision.


AshleyB - January 31

Believe me SLP, when that baby is born, they are all going to love it so much they'll never admit to not wanting it in the beginning. Sometimes it takes awhile. Go with your heart, and what you want. Good Luck honey. and Congratulations!!!


SLP - January 31

Thank you all so much for your support... I talked to the father about it and he said he will be supportive of whatever decision I make. I know it's going to be soooo hard... but I'm already in love with this child and I can't wait for my life to revolve around him/her!!!


- January 31

SLP, no matter what age you are or what stage in your life your in your family is always going to urge you one way or the other in what they think is best for you. I'm 32 single and pregnant and my family was pushing me to have an abortion also but I just couldn't do it. Abortion is a very personal decision and only you can choose to go that route or not. You have to go with your heart and I feel like you, I'm in love with this baby already. Believe me it will be hard as I know all to well because I already have one child but it's so worth it. Good luck, you can do it!


SLP - February 1

I am having one of those really bad days. I talked to the father today, I told him I didn't think I'd be able to have an abortion because I didn't think I could emotionally handle it. He said that he was sure my feelings would change, that I wouldn't be able to emotionally handle having no money and no future, and then he changed the subject. He asked me if I went to cla__s today -- I told him I'd been laying in bed all day, that I felt alone and I didn't feel like getting up. I started crying. He told me I shouldn't be skipping cla__s, and when I didn't stop crying he got off the phone with me. Everyday I change my mind on what would be best for everyone. He obviously thinks abortion is the way to go. I'm just so scared and alone, and everyday that pa__ses is another day I haven't made up my mind 100%.....


mom2 - February 1

i have never been in your exact situation with the family part but the school and baby i have. I am 23 i had my son at 21 I had about 2 yrs left to get my B-degree and i am proud to say that i am graduating this took a lot of hard work, dedication and family support. BUT i did it. You can accomplish your dreams still and i will testify that with out my son my dreams would not have ment so much. Its hard but our kids have a right to live and see that they add to our lives not destroy it..... if you truly feel you cant handle it please consider best friend was adopted and there are a million women out there that can never have children who would love to have half the chance you do in being a mom. Please dont feel i am pushing you in ither direction just know you are not alone if you were all the strangers and moms who have written in would not keep writing. I understand that comments are diffrent than those involved in your daily life but they mean well. congradulations and i hope you have better days ahead!


LL - February 1

SLP I know how you feel. I went back and forth on what I wanted to do, keep the baby or have an abortion, for weeks until it turned into months. Everyone was telling me I couldn't do it and that I wouldn't be able to afford it etc. I cried and cried and felt so depressed and alone because nobody but I could make this tough decision about my future but me. The father was supportive either way, but really he's no support at all because I know in the long run I'll be doing this myself (long story). I came up with all kinds of excuses to avoid the abortion and told my family I didn't have the money and of course they offered to pay for it. I eventually just waited and waited because I just didn't feel I could go through with it because of the emotional trauma. I already have a daughter and I’m a single mom and my mom pressured me to abort when I was pregnant with her or give her up for adoption but I couldn’t do either. My mom now loves my daughter more than anything in this world and I can’t imagine not having her. I'm pro choice and I had an abortion when I was in high school, my mom made me and went with me, ugh! I just couldn’t do it this time either and I waited until it was basically too late. I’ve now come to terms that I want this baby and that’s why I couldn’t go threw with the abortion even though that’s what everyone else told me to do. I’ve told all of my family except my mom because I just can’t deal with her disappointment and critisisium just yet. You just have to go with you hart and your gut instinct because only you can make this decision. It’s tough wanting one thing while everyone else wants you to do something else but you need to do what’s best for YOU and YOU only. Good luck on the decision making and please let me know if you ever need to talk.


SLP - February 2

My parents just informed me over dinner that they have changed their mind of kicking me out... They said that if I need to keep this baby then I need to get out very soon.


EricaG - February 2

SLP, you have fallen in love with this baby. Please don't abort it just because everyone else wants you too. This baby is a gift from god and when you look into his or her eyes you will know where your future is. He has no right to say you wont have a future. Sure, money will be tight for a while, but things work themselves out. If anything, give the baby up for adoption. If you go on the TTC forum or the pregnancy forum you will see many women in pain because they have no baby to hold in their arms. There are so many couples out there that would pay all of your hospital expenses just so they could call your baby their own. You could do a wonderful thing, give a couple a baby. Or another wonderful thing, mother your own child, but please dont' get an abortion.



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