My Man Left Me

6 Replies
Bobbi Jo - April 28

Hi everyone. My man told me yesterday that we need time apart and just call him to update him on myself and the baby. I am 6 weeks pregnant and scared. He doesnt think its his but it is. Im scared im goin to miscarry again, i already did 4 times before. Im stressin over him and this pregnancy. Im just so mad cause he got me pregnant and leaves and he can go find a new female and i cant really go and find a man cause who wants a pregnant female. Just really mad and upset!


April - April 28

I know how you feel... mine left me when i was about 17 weeks or so... he said he needed to focus on his business and didn't have time for a relationship... so he goes and gets a new girlfriend 2 weeks later... nice, eh? it was really hard at first but what helped me was i wrote down all the c___ppy things he did to me... and every time i'd start to feel bad i'd look at that list, and instantly feel better. Trust me.. you're better off without him... just take care of yourself and the baby and forget about the jerkwad.


find faith - April 29

My child is now 3 months. His father left when I was 7 months pregnant after 4 years together. What works fe one individual may not work for the next person. Writing down or even thinking about all the things he did makes me sick. I had to turn to GOD. I had to place all my trust in him and trust his plan. When he left he said he only had one child from his marriage and that was the only child he would reconize. I never lost control and I maintained pretty well. I have no hate and truly have forgiven him. It is for him I do these things it is for my self respect and my son. Today he actually sees his son and we have even spent time together (cookouts...). We are not a couple and there is much room for improvement, but he has taken steps in a direction he completely swore off. Stay positive and focus on your health and childs health. PRAY!


to bobbi jo - April 29

are you planning on keeping the baby?


aisha - April 29

My babys father said similar. He wanted to be updated but i guess when i sent him tummy pics the reality hit him and he told me to stop fronting that hes the father blah blah that i had messed with other guys yada yada yada..i was hurt because it seemed so easy but then i thought well i have 21 weeks to go and if he wants to sit in denial then so be it...a paternity test will make it clear and child support will reinforce it. I didnt sleep with anyone else and for someone who didnt want a serious relationship..i dunno why hes so focused on who i was!


April - April 29

good advice "find faith"... and you're exactly right what works for some people may not work for others, I was just telling her what I did.. most people don't think about doing that. Plus I now have a record of everything he did to me in case of a custody battle. but I didn't have to turn to God, cause I've always had Him. Bobbi Jo just do what makes you happy. Another thing that might help is to talk to a counselor, or even a friend. Recently my doctor's office hired a counselor for pregnant women and it really helps to talk to her because she's talked to so many women in my situation, and she konws a lot more about child support and custody than I do. Sometimes it's nice just to talk. Also I'm doing soooo much better than I was 3 months ago... time really does heal.. that and the knowledge that what goes around comes around :)


find faith - April 30

Offering multiple solutions for a person who is hurting is why they turn to a site such as this site. There are not right or wrong answers. In the end it is up to the individual to find personal strength. Some womens way of dealing ranges from slashing tires to prayer. When I said "I turned to GOD", like April I have always had GOD. But I had to focus and all my strength came from GOD during this time of hurt. Hate is like a cancer it will slowly take your health. Whatever works for the person going through the situation that allows them peace of mind for their health and the baby is what needs to be done. Stress does effect the unborn child. Regardless of what and where the father is, the mother carries the child and has the responsibilty to protect her child. The child will need to depend on the mother, this man is grown he is responsible for his actions. He will have to answer one day for his wrongs and he will determine his own destiny. We as women can't make them be the man we know and feel they should be, although many of us are guilty of trying. Don't exhaust yourself on the "why's" but on "how's". This is how I am going to make it... this is how I can be a better person... Focus on self, right now it is okay to be selfish another life depends on you. Do what allows you to be in good health. In the end you will have a beautiful child and your child will look into your eyes and smile. That look and smile is worth 9 months.



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