Need Some Advice Extremely Unsure

3 Replies
Sad sore and blue - September 5

I found my "soul mate" when i was young. It was puppy love i guess he didnt appreciate me, but i kept thinking we were young and it wasnt a s_xual relationship. Years past we split and he left to start a new life in another place. I met someone and was with them for 5 and half years. He was my first "true love" he took my innocence he took everything, he lied cheated, mentally, physically and emotionally abused me to the point i felt he was all i had oh and he got a 14yr old pregnant. Then my "soul mate" came back, took me away from it all and promised to show me the life i deserve. I hadnt felt happiness like it so secure and safe. I have been with him now for nearly 6years and only last week, my son started school. I was approached by a man telling me his sister was pregnant with my boyfriends baby, due any day. I should mention my son is 4 and a half and i have just had a baby daughter 11 weeks ago :( My daughter was planned which hurts even more. I have had a tough relationship with my "soul mate" there has been betrayal before, lies, deceit, heartbreak. We split for a few months but obviously decided to try again. I beleived things had changed which is why my daughter is her. I have never seen some1 so devastated by what hes done break down infront of me. His actions this time are so intense i do wonder if this is finally made him see? I was told by him this was a drunk 1 night stand with his sisters neighbour, i found out yesterday thats infact it had happened twice and he stayed once, lots of messages and social network chats (something he has always had problems with) He has a drink problem not in the typical sense but none the less a problem, he binges and gets so drunk he makes trouble. I get the brunt of his horrible side when drunk (never physical only verbal) he has realised now all the problems he has drink, s_x, the thrill of a chase, selfishness etc. He has taking the 1st steps to gettin help and says he is willing to do whatever it takes to make this right. He wants nothing to do with the child he sees it as a mistake was never wanted. Wants to move us away from al this, i dont. I have no idea what is right to do here. I know that i have felt real hurt on his part and complete remorse but does that mean genuine change?


Grandpa Viv - September 5

There are several questions here - what is it in you that is attracted to abusive men, is there any chance that your binge-drinking mate will shape up, and what is this contentious household going to do to the lives of your kids? Hmm. Recovering alcoholics do exist. If getting help means he will commit to regular AA meetings, maybe there is hope. The flip side is that spouse abuse centers are full of women with stories like yours. My opinion is that you and your kids would be better off without him, if you can afford it. The tipping factor for me is that he wants to walk away from the other baby, something he may be saying to placate you. A responsible man would be negotiating a best solution with all parties. If you can't afford to split, cross your fingers and pray that you can learn to tolerate his occasional transgressions.


pregnant_single - September 19

If you are single and pregnant, you don't have to be! Check out my profile for Facebook page information on finding a man that will love and adore you during and after your pregnancy, or search 'Pregnant and Single' in Facebook. I have also established a Yahoo group called 'PREGNANTNSINGLENLA' to put single pregnant women together with men who possess a strong s_xual attraction for pregnant woman. So, if you're still pregnant and single, that is purely your choice as you don't have to be.


dekraytom - November 23

I got it .It's pretty easy to understand. Thanks.



You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?