Pregnancy As A Means Of Control

11 Replies
Amy - May 4

I've been sleeping with a man for over three years now. When I say sleeping I mean just SLEEPING together. We don't have a relationship what so ever. He just calls me for s_x. Of course, I'm a nut job and let him do this too me. I've slept with him through out all of his relationships with other women (real girlfriends he actually dates) and everything. He's been violent three times with me. When I told him recently that I wanted to be in a relationship and was dating other men he didn't stop me. He looked a little sad and pertured, but said nothing. Then two months ago I noticed that he refused to wear the condoms. Then he started not pulling out. When I asked him about it he would lie and say, "I didn't come." which is a completely lie, he must think I'm an idiot. I just don't understand why he would WANT me pregnant. I'm not his girlfriend, were not even dating. It's just meaningless s_x to him. I'm really confused. When I told him I was pregnant he told me that he was coming over tonight with an ept test and that if I wasn't and was lying he'd punch me in the face,,,,yadayadyady.... I don't understand?


jane - May 4

this guy is a crazy lunatic. stay far away from him. tell him you don't have to prove anything to him he is not your boyfriend. he has major problems. lose contact w/ him and let people arnd u aware of his behaviour so they can look out for you, or tell him to go to anger mngmt. cla__ses. it sounds also like he wants to controll you, be careful!


Bella - May 4

This guy sounds dangerous. If he would threaten and hurt you he will do the same thing to your child. This is a serious thing. It sounds like he thought he was losing control of you and wanted to do something to keep you. I don't want to me mean, trust me when I say this I am not saying it to hurt your feelings. This guy does not love you. He wouldn't sleep with you and date other women. Please protect yourself and your child. Having a baby and keeping this guy will not equal a happy ending. Trust me, I grew up in a home with a father who beat my mother. I am still working through the scars and my mother is as well and they have been divorced for 14 yrs.


beth - May 6

this guy sounds nutty. Your not dating him? Too wierd.


Jbear - May 8

Sounds like you need a different booty call...stay away from the guy, anyone who'd threaten you is not the man for you. But even though you're not married to him or in a meaningful relationship, if he got you pregnant, he will be responsible for child support.


? - May 8

You are shifting the blame to him and saying he did this as a way to maintain control. You had a responsibility to protect yourself, just as many women say on these threads towards the men. You opened a door to a meaningless relationship and STD's. And why if this was so meaningless do you feel the need to explain your life choices (dating...) to him? If you are pregnant, leave him out of it until you have strong feelings as to what direction you want to take. I mean think all your options through: do you want to have the baby, do you want him involved in your pregnancy, do you need financial support, is this a man you want a life time relationship with.... when and only when you know the direction you want to take discuss it with him. You do not need or have to tell him anything. How involved you let him become is your choice. You can abort without his permission, you can through pregnancy without him women do it everyday, you can go in labor without him, you can raise the child without him being involved with you, you can name the baby with your maiden name and leave him off the birth certificate. The only thing he can do is when the baby is born he can take you to court and ask for visitation and then he'll be ordered to pay. You have choices to make for yourself and your unborn child. You share a responsibility for this pregnancy, if you did not want to get pregnant we as women have many birth control methods and they even make condoms for females. Please work on your self respect and never participate in anything that makes you feel less than your own personal worth.


Sis - May 9

He would punch you in the face if you aren't pregnant? Wow, what a great guy! :-[ I hope this is a false alarm and if it is, please find yourself love elsewhere.


Amy - June 8

This is to ?.. I had two doctors tell me that it would be very difficult to conceive a child. I wasn't using condoms with him for ONE MONTH. I HAD A BIRTH CONTROL PRESCRIPTION filled out for the next month. I NEVER dreamed I would conceive a child. So, place your blame somewhere else.


Maxine - November 29

well apparently it wasn't so meaningless. How can someone have s_x for 3 years and it just be meaningless? This guy sounds psychotic anyway and I wouldn't be surprised if there were drugs involved. I wouldn't question his motive, I would just move on. You don't want anyone violent around your child.


to AMy - November 29

As much as you may not like what ? had to say it is true and still true. Whether you were able to get pregnant or not birth control pills do not protect against STD's. You are still in denial, but I hope all worked out for you.


Jessica - November 29

To Maxine and the last poster- This post is from May.. Do you look at the dates before wasting your time?


Nancy - November 29

well sometimes people have the same question or are in the same situations, but I know what you mean. Sometimes a thread will be started last year and it just keeps going and going and going and going............



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