Pregnant And He Doesnt Wanna Be With Me

20 Replies
becy22 - October 8

Hey, im 22 i have been with my partner for 7 years since we were 15.. we were engaged.. have a house and 2 dogs the typical fairy tale life. we spent the last 7 months trying to get prego and finially we are. just a week before i found out i was pregnant he told me that he is not in love with me ne more. so i left the house and went and stayed at mums. he called me back home and said he loves me and stuff. we slept together and then he said he still didnt wanna be with me. he has been cooking me dinner and lunch making sure im ok. we have still been sleeping together and everything as if we are together. he has been staying at home with me and spending all his time with me. i said i cant do this i want to sell the house cos i still love u and this is making me sick. he said he is not saying if he wants to be with me of not till the baby is born, he said it probably will be a no but he is not deciding till then. i love him so so so much i just dont understand where this has come from. how can a man be in love and want a baby and then the next be so cold. i aks if it was another women and he said no and he hasnt been on his phone of going out no where just been at home on his holidays. what should i do ? i feel like such an idiot i wouldnt have tried for a baby if this was gonna happen


Danii - October 9

Hi Becy22, please don't jump to the conclusion that their is another women, because that may not neccessarily b true and will just cause you heart ache. After 7 years you should know him well enough to know if he's hiding something, so if u weren't already suspicious then don't b. i don't know y he is acting the way he is, but continuing to sleep with him isn't helping the situation (nor is it yours socurbaby7). it may feel good in the moment, but is it worth the saddness when they get up and leave again? besides yor letting him have his cake and eat it too. if he can't b committed to you, y should get get to b pleased by u? and if he is getting what he wants from u now. y should he have to commit to u? i think that really really sucks that he'swaiting til ur bub is born to decide if he wants to b with you or not. he should only b with u if he wants to, not just for the babies sake. he can still b a part of your childs life without being with u and if thats the only reason he's being with u chances r it wont last. plus, u have so many emotions ahead of u already, u don't need confusion to b one of them. and you may not realise, but the emotions don't stop after birth so dealing with a break up then would be really hard. I have a gorgeous 7 week old son so i know what i'm talking about when i say this-you can do this by yourself. It is hard but u can't possibly comprehend how much peace and happiness that person growing inside of you will bring. Be strong Becy22, believe in yourself and get some answers from this guy. Good luck


becy22 - October 9

this is he wont tell his family its over. he told his family about the baby but not about us. before i found out i was prego he wouldnt sell the house now i am he is using that as an excuse. i know him very well... he hasnt been on the phone to girls or messaging girls he just sit at home and hangs out with me. we muck around thing is we never fight at the best of time we get along so well.. i dunno what is going on he is saying things like when the baby is here and u need to do the food shopping i can stay at home with the baby and u can go to the shops. and like imagine when we have the high chair at the table... like as if im gonna just be waiting around for that long. last night he come with me to my mums house for dinner. its like we never broke up .. but were still not back together.


becy22 - October 10

socurbaby7..hey if it come to that i think that would be a good reason to leave i wouldnt still keep sleeping with him.. its just hard because they send u mixed signals. does the other girl know he is sleeping with u still. id bloody tell her if she didnt.. if he cheated on u he will cheat on her he has already prooven that,some times u just wanna smash there face hahaha...danii i know i do know him very well its just so hard when it urself he just keeps doing all these things that says he doesnt wanna leave...


socurbaby7 - October 11

well... she knows he has cheated on her with me... she almost caught us a couple times... i just want to scream it at her that he's cheating on her.. cause in all technicality.... i got pregnant by him cheating on her... and if she were smart she'd figure that out.... but its hard cause he says he loves me and that im his best friend.. and it's impossible for me to get over him for some reason.. i jus cant shake him.... i let all my guards down for him ... he was the one... the only one i wanted to be with.. icant imagine ever gettin that close to another man again... he was basically my first for everything... and i dont think im willing to share that with another man and he knows that .... so i just dont know what to do... cause im honestly a better person than this girl and he knows it ....and he tells me all the time... but like i just dont know what to do ...specially with him being the father of my child he's always going to be around because he wants to be in his daughters its jus all confusing


tish212 - October 11

wow..where to begin my heart is breaking reading the 2 main posts here.... first off to both of u and I know this is easier said then done STOP sleeping with him... u r letting him have his cake and eat it...why would u want to let anyone use u like that? if ur man says he isn't sure he wants to bewith u leave and stay gone...even if he 'changes' his mind...u deserve someone who KNOWS 100% how they feel..and after 7 years now he's not sure its not worth ur heart ache sweetie u deserve so much more. and scourbaby...stop stop stop sleeping with him come on..he gets to have 2 women at once and ur ok with that? u need to gather up ur self respect and leave .... hedoesnt deserve u at all and ur child doesn't need to be raised in an environment that tells it that a man can do as he wishes to women no matter how the woman feels about it.... please please both of u step back and think about what u r saying about urself...stop letting these men make u feel worthless ur children deserve strong women as their moms... I pray u both find ur way out and move on please please do u both deserve better!


Baliezer - October 12

i'm sorry, but I also think there is another girl. Serious or not, something is wrong with this situation. I think he feel's guilty so he is sticking around. Usually the other girl could care less, if she know's about you, and he is probably telling her he is breaking it off with you, and she is the one he really loves. He will never admit the truth, even if it is right in front of him. Push his sorry Azz out the door until he makes a decision. He he leaves, it was not ment to be in the first place. If he comes back he is worth keeping. Give it time, two weeks should scare him into a decision. it is for the best and trust me he will respect you much more. Even if he is not cheating, I would still kick him out. Good luck!!


becy22 - October 31 he has been all over me kissing and cuddling and sleeping in the same bed. never on the phone or anthing and where ever he goes he takes me with him. its so hard cos if he does anything that feels wrong to me i magnify it to like 100 and i cant help it. i stew on it but i dont say anything to him. im in limbo i feel so alone.. how do u go threw labor alone?.. how do i raise a baby alone. im a strong person bu at the moment i feel so weak and stupid.. i wish these emotions would stop already..


socurbaby7 - October 31

Well the whole kissing and cuddling thing... i dont know if u should be giving in to that unless u guys r going to be together... because again... i have been there and im still there... im like his little puppet i am with him when he wants and when he doesnt im gone... and i hate it... its not irght or fair... and it shouldnt be this way and i dont wanna see someone else go through this... so if u have the self control to not be doing it dont... because if he cant have u at all he will have to make the choice whether he wants u or not and he will either commit or he wont... right now ur at the point where he can do what he wants without commiting to it... and he can do whatever and thats not fair ... n eventualyl it will get to the point that he does whatever he wants all the time... and u let it happen jus as long as he comes back to u at the end of the day ... but it really shouldnt be that way.. please stand up for yourseelf ! if u need to talk my sn on aim is lilitalnsocrchic


steffie - November 1

hey girls...i'm in sort of the situation but not entirely the guy i was with said he doesnt love me but wants to be there for the baby...i'm emotional and scared and cannot really control the emotions I stay in my room all night and day and go to schoool and now I need to get a job because i cant live where I am anymore...the father said he only has obligations to the baby and doesnt want to deal with's hard but what should I do...he doesnt understand and never hears me out and just puts me down...I know we are alittle hard to deal with but I'm just scared for my unborn baby and what will happen to us..I'm 21 going to school full time with no family around anywhere and no support fromfather?


tish212 - November 2

I always seem to advocate for this but u have support.... social services can offer u care help...emergency heating support etc....and they have people u can talk to when u need to is not welfare and it is not disgraeful b/c u didn't get prenant to get these...u can use these to help urself....and u don't need the father...he sounds like an a__s to me...and not worthy of u...and don't quit is the best thing u can do for ur baby.... seek out other pregnant women in ur area...maybe that r in ur position to give u people to relate to...and someone who's shoulder u can cry on.... I'd love to help but I don't think I live near u...hugs sweetie u will be fine!


sandypat08 - January 4

Hey becky22, Im answering to your most current post about what will you do when your giving birth. When I was pregnant with my 4 yr old my ex boyfriend at the time left me when I told him that I was pregnant. Honesly I didnt know what was going on. But anyway beside the point. My mom and dad was always there for me they helped me raise my daughter till she was turning 2. (cause around that time I had met my now husband and he has raised her for 3 yrs shes turning 5 next month sorry blabbing again) But any way my parent's were at the delivery room with me. They were there the whole way supporting me. I know it is nerve recking knowing that he might not be in the delivery room, cause honestly thats what I was thinking about all over again especially when she was born cause she was a splitting image of him ( thank god not any more lol). But it will be heard not having him there, have a back up plan ask your parents to be at the delivery room with you for support. It will be great knowing you hae support even though hes not there you know.......................Ps sorry about the rambaling hope you understood


becy22 - January 6

hey thanks everyone for ur replys. just thought i would give an update. were still living in the house together. he is renovating for the baby and has finished her room. he is so happy and excited about the baby. he is so cuddle and kissy to me and then when his friends ask him to go out then i get ditched. i dunno im just so tired now. he runs hot and cold all the time. i asked him if we were together or not and he said sometimes things are good and getting better then somedays they aint. that we have a long way to go before anything changes. i just dont get why we cant sell the house and stuff whats he holding on to???..


Teddyfinch - January 6

i hate that you're having to go through this right now, but i have to play the devil's advocate so that way you don't get run over by his c___p. i don't know what his deal is, but his kissy huggy bull is just to keep you attached to him. it's happened to me and it happened to a friend of mine. having a baby won't make him love you and it won't make him want to stay. he needs to be told that saying "i'll decide if i love you when the baby is born" is a huge pile of poop. just make sure he isn't going to try to take the baby from you because he has the house and the blah blah, you know what i mean? if he can't give you a straight answer now, you need to stay away from him so he can't play these mind games with you anymore.


becy22 - January 22

hey everyone thanks teddy i was thinking the same thing.. all the house is finished. we had the best two weeks together. we really enjoyed each others company and spending time together. he has gone back to work he works long hours from 2 pm till 1 am ..6 days a weeks so he gets so run down and tired. he is leaving when bubs is born cos he wont get holidays when she is here ... also im haing a girl!!.. he is so excited he rubs my belly and puts her to sleep when she is kicking lots. he spent his whole holidays just with me and making sure i was alright and fed we really re connected again. i think we fell in love all over qagain.. ill let u know how it goes since he has been back at work.. mwa my love to all thanks


Teddyfinch - January 23

just don't let yourself build up for a fall. always keep a cautious eye on him. congrats on a girl though ^^


springbaby - January 24

I know you are hoping for the best, and I certainly wish you the best, but you need not wonder too much on what the future holds. Figure out what you want and take control before you come home one day and he is gone for good. It will hurt for a long time.....Start preparing for your child and his arrival.



You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?