Scared Alone And Frustrated

5 Replies
Kimmie D - January 3

Hi Everyone, I am new to this site and this process and unfortunately due to crumby circ_mstances I find that I could sure use some help. I am dealing with a surprise pregnancy. This is my first pregnancy and I find that due to confusing personal issues I am not really enjoying it. The pregnancy came a a surprise to both the father and myself. We were new acquaintances who occasionally slept together. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I let the father know. At the time, he immediately wanted me to get an abortion, as far as I was concerned that was not an option. He eventually came around, sooner rather than later. The problem is, when he decided that having a child would be ok, we celebrated by having s_x. After words he made all of these wonderful future plans and claims. It was heaven! I figured I wouldn't be alone! He said that he could see us being to gether for a long. long time and that he wanted to be there to support me and the baby. Then a few nights later, he told me he was seeing someone. And in fact, he had just started seeing her and was seeing her when we were intimate the last time. I was upset and told him that he was wrong to sleep with me when he was seeing someone else for many reasons! I asked about all of the claims and promises that he made and he said "That's just what people say." I asked him to not bother calling me again, nor should he stop by, and that when I am ready to talk to him, I will call him. I didn't take his call for a few weeks and eventually we started talking again. He said that he recognized that he was wrong in treating me that way and made promises that it wouldn't happen again. He also said that he broke up with his girlfriend. So, now we are back talking and trying to be friendly, me with hopes that eventually we will get together as who doesn't want to be with their baby's father. Though we are talking he is constantly reminding me that we are not together as a couple and that there are no promises of us ever being together, but he is constantly making passes at me. He claims to want to be there for me and the baby, but yet will not come to any Prenatal classes or early pregnancy classes. He says that he is excited about being a father and says that he will be there, but he made that claim about my pregnancy as well. Should I believe him? Do you think there is hope for us? I am so confused by him, he says one thing but his actions say another. I am afraid of being hurt by him again. It was difficult to over come the first time he hurt me. How many chances do I give this guy. I am trying to be patient and forgiving, but why is it always about the "poor guy" and how he is dealing with this unplanned pregnancy.


g - January 4

My ex and i have been off and on for many years and he does the same thing. Says one day he misses me then the next same as you, reminds me im b___hy (cuz he cheated)and thats why he doesnt come around hardly. He has always cheated on me though. But no more chances. He kissed me the other day but i let it go no further(i'm so proud of myself!) I hope he comes around for you but don't waste years on this guy, i mean if he wants you and this baby he needs to fess up now and tell you either way. I feel by now you both know how you feel about eachother rite? Tell him it needs to make his actions and words clear of what he wants. Good luck!


maggiemooandyou - January 5

i think he's telling you what YOU want to hear, and you listen because it's what you WANT to hear. Put on ear muff's and DO NOT LISTEN TO HIS ENTAGLEMENT OF LIES


Redd - January 8

My ex and I are going through the same thing right now. I am 32 weeks pregnant this week and I have not talked to my ex since I was around 19 weeks. Let me tell you what happen. I got pregnant and he wanted me to have an abortion and I did not, I decided to keep the baby. He was very angry and then he came around eventually. My ex also said that he was going to be there and blah...blah... I was thrilled. In the mean time he deployed oversea, and while deployed he caused constant stress on my baby and I. I deceided that I did not need the stress, so I changed my cell phone, cut my home phone off, so he could not contact me...other than e-mail, in which he e-mails and says this is going on to long. Truelly, I don't think I will be able to talk to him until after the baby is born. That's was when I was around 19 weeks, and I am 32 weeks now. I do not throw up, worry, or anything else. Ma...what I am trying to tell you is to take care of you and your baby first. Stay strong to yourself first.


Sophie's Gradma - January 10

Be strong for yourself and the baby. It takes a heck of lot more than sperm to be a father...and I don't think he has it. Don't beat yourself up looking for something that's not there. You'd be better off on your own (lean on family and true friends) gaining help and all the emotional support from people who REALY care. And trust me...once the baby is born you won't have the time to think of him and his silly head games. The maternal instinks will kick into orverdrive and you'll find that your priorities will be different. You are not the first and won't be the last, listen and learn from other's who have been in the same boat. From this day forward it's all about YOU & BABY:)!!


Trudy - January 10

He has obviously shown himself to you. His actions speak louder than those meanial little words. He can't step up to the plate. If he was a real man you'd have a rock on your finger. I would give him to boot. I would give him an ultimatium: marry me and step up or leave. Your child will grow up thinking that those types of weasel actions are acceptable. And I haven't heard anything about this "poor guy" scenario before. Look up the word weasel. The last time I checked it meant a cowardly person who backs out of their obligations. A weasel is also a type of rodent who can suck all the contents out of an egg without breaking it. Your guy sounds like a weasel to me.



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