Scared Uncomfortable And Alone

19 Replies
chantelle - August 19

I am 14 wks pregnant and single... I told the father of the baby I was pregnant when I was 5 1/2 wks along, and I havent talked to him since. He was my old roommates best friend and we were "fooling around" for about a month. I don't know what to say to him and I dont know him really well, I now feel like we are strangers....I want to call him and just talk like we used to but it is weird... I want him to be there for "our" baby because I want my child to know who her/his father is... How do I let him know all this.. it is so scary to me! Please help!


17,preg.&alone - July 4

call and talk to him. tell him that its very important for him to allow you two to dicuss this and be completely honest with him about what your feeling. i wish you the best of luck. dont be scared...youve got to be strong for you and your baby.


clo - July 31

i'm in the same rut, except i'm 7 months. just pretend he never took part in ur baby's conception and do it alone.


ann - August 10

I know how you feel, I was with my boyfriend for 2 years and we broke up and I ended up kicking him out. Then I found out I was pregnant. He knows, but he is so worthless he won't return my calls or anything, I'm gonna be alone through all of this and I'm so scared and feel so alone. I want my baby to have the best of everything, but it really hurts I can't even make sure the dad will be there for us. I would at least call and try to talk to him. Maybe you will have better luck than I'm having. Good luck with everything!!


Jane - August 10

If you think about in logically, what did you really expect? You fooled around with this guy for only a month, you weren't in a relationship with him. You are both adults and you both took the risk by having s_x. Can you really blame him for not wanting to stick around? You were a bit of skirt for him for a while, a fling. You were not his girlfriend or his wife and he did not love you.


insane jane - August 11

Jane that was rude! I am sure you have been skirt for plenty of guys! get over it and give nice advice!


J - August 11

To the last poster = grow up you silly girl, if you don't have something to contribute to the original post do not post at all. Jane is right in what she says. It is reality! People can't live in the clouds. You really cannot think that a guy you had a brief fling with would want to hang about while you have his baby. It's not nice, but it's life.


cee - August 17

no, in real life, we need to expect more of men who end up in these situations. it doesn't matter whether or not they were in a relationship... everyone knows that s_x produces babies. everyone knows that there is always that chance. and for men to just get to decide whether or not they WANT to take part in their child's upbringing, is ridiculous. unless they are so worthless that the child would be better off without them, then they should be obligated to provide some sort of support for mother and child. they're the silly ones who need to grow up. and we need to recognize that and let nothing else be accepted. let's be real here.


de - August 19

wel its hard but its reality we all as adults know what it takes to get pregnant. you have to just call and keep it real your pregnant your keeping the baby your not looking for a relationship but he is going to be a daddy. if hes in denial when the baby comes it wiil be real if you cant be friends oh well but he is just as responsible as you nd dont think bacause you didnt know him that well he shouldnt be responsible he learn reproduction in elementry he is an adult and needs to be one if he wont be there physically thats when the courts will make him responsible tell himm next time strap up................


Sarah - September 26

Oh it seems as though you are in a really difficult situation. I cant even imagine how scared and alone you are feeling, but just remember your not the only one that goes through problems like this. I think you really need to talk to the father of your soon to be child let him know what you are feeling he probably is feeling a bit shocked himself. What you really need to do is call him. Good luck with what ever dicision you make, hope it all works out! =) all the best Sarah


sarah - September 26

Jane Imagine if you were in this situation! it's not the sort of thing you would want to be hearing.


april - September 26

Jane yeah its reality that some men would do that but that doesnt excuse it. What the h*** are you talking about when you asked "do you really blame him for wanting to be around" like your trying to tell her to except what he's doing and he has no fault in this. Heres a reality check for you. There are men who leave their girlfirends/wifes pregnant even after a long term relationship and then theres men who do step up to be the father even after a one night stand so get off your high horse and get over the man who burned you ....Chantelle, girl Im sure you know it takes two to tango and this world is messed up sometimes. You say you want her to have a know what sometimes having the dad invovled makes things worse. He doesnt sound like a very dependable dad but then again he could be scared of it all to and men tend to go into their caves and back off instead of talkin about it. I would just tell him how you really feel. Dont be scared although easier said than done. You know what even if he doesnt decide to be there than he still has to pay child support and their are so many men out there who dont care about a women being pregnant. If the guy loves you he'll love your baby. For now I would start focusing on the your beautiful baby and making plans on how you can better not only hers but you life as well. Im 7 months ex was abusive and took my car, my cash and now I have to fend for myself but Im better off that way and am so blessed now to care for my babygirl. It is hard and is going to be hard but its so worth it. How i look at it is he's missing out and I get to be the one loving her. You may be upset for a while but things will work out in the end if you just do what you can for her. I would strongly adivse to get a court order for support from him though. Good luck and take care of youself and your precious baby


Sarah. - September 29

Wow April that was really inspiring! I hope that everything turns out for both of you! just remember to be honest to your self, You dont have to do anything you dont want to! and jane id be suprised if ne 1 loves you!! you have no right saying that to Chantell. How do u know if he loves her or not?he could be scared i mean it would come as a bit of a shock.. any way hope it all goes well Chantell and April! =)


april - October 16

Sarah...hey thank you. You made my day:) I agree with what you said also. is everything going for you? Hope all is well and will keep both of you in my prayers. Take care


kathleen - October 18

love your baby.. she is your joy.. she will carry you through


E - October 18

Write him a letter expressing your feelings and in the letter ask him to at least send one back with his response. Make sure it is certified so he can't claim he did not recieve it. Maybe it will open the door for oral communication? It is a weak start but a start nonetheless.


24, unwed - October 18

It really sucks to go through this alone, you are now facing one of the scariest times of your life and doing it on your own. If you haven't heard from him since you told him chances are he is not interested in becoming a dad now. Things will never be the way they were so for your own sanity lose the illusion. When you find out you are pregnant as a woman you expect that the dad will be filled with the joy and excitement that you have and maybe he'll come around. Chance are he won't and you will continue to be alone. Take my story for example I am now 20 weeks pregnant by someone I have known and been friends with for almost 9 years and he has turned out to be like someone I just met and was having a fling with. It sucks but as long as you remain strong you will be fine. If you really want to reach out to him do it via e-mail or a letter. Just make sure it is not harsh or mean you will never be able to take it back and he will always be able to reflect back to it and hold it in your face. Good Luck!



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