Should I Call The Father Of My Baby

5 Replies
Gina - November 3

I am just six months pregnant and have not heard a word from the father in over two months. We were together for two months and he was crazy about me calling all the time and writing letters, presents and bringing me out on lovely dates. When I became pregnant initally he asked me to marry him and told me that everything would be ok etc etc then after two weeks he changed completely and I knew he felt different. After three weeks of this behaviour I asked him out straight and he said he did not feel the same about us. However we had s_x two times after he said it was over. I then told him ok I understand you dont feel the same and we hardly know each other but I will not contiunue to have s_x if the relationship is over. He offered me money for a holiday and to buy some maternat_ty clothes which I refused as I did not need it at the time. The last time I saw him I told him that I would like to be friends with him ( no s_x) and that the door would always be open for him to be involved in the pregnancy and the baby's life. However that was over two months ago and I have not heard a word from him. While I understand that he does not feel the same romantically about me I cannot understand why he can not offer even friendship or even wonder how the pregnancy is going. He seemed such a nice caring guy with some morals but now his silence says he couldnt care less. It did take two of us to get pregnant and I feel lonely and alone dealing with this by myself. I cannot decide if I should call him or leave him to maybe make contact himself as what is the point if he doesnt want to. I would appreciate some advice. Peace and Love Gina


Fiona - November 3

Hi Gina I just read your message and I feel that two months in his eyes may not be very long. I know for a pregnant woman 2 months can seem like an age, but I can give the example of a friend of mine who is about to have a baby, She lives some way from me and I hadn't seen her for about 8 weeks, and suddenly she's only got 3 weeks to go until her due date!!! I think he is avoiding the issue, and is trying to ignore it. But for your own peace of mind I'd suggest you give one last call to tell him how you feel, and be completely honest with him. Try to make him face his responsibilities, I mean he's pregnant too...he's going to be a Daddy! Otherwise, after that I'd not call him again.


bmorebabe - November 3

I know this is a very difficult situation it will be 7 months since I have heard from my babys father in less than a week. I unlike you have no way of contacting him I have thought many times that I would like to over the past 7 months but now that he has made no effort I feel that it is better that I wasnt able to call him I have almost mnade it to delivery on my own he dissapeared less than 2 weeks after I found out that I was pregnant and now hasnt even called to find out if I am ok and at this point I am glad. I dont need someone like this in my life or in my daughters life stability is important for children and he cannot offer that to her. If you want to read my whole story it is posted under This is my be prepared. I hope that knowing what I have gone through might help you make your decision I know that I havent really given any advice but this is a decision that you have to make for yourself but I think that knowing what other people in similar situations have gone through can help others in making their own decisions. I hope this helps and best wishes to you in whatever you decide, just dont let others push you into doing something that you are not sure is the best for you and you unborn child.


Gina - November 4

Fiona, thanks for your reply as of yet I have not called " when in doubt do nothing. I will think a lilttle longer before I make that call although guess I have to make it sometime. Peace and love


Gina - November 4

bmorebabe, I read your story and my god things have been difficult for you. Why on earth would his mother tell you to have an abortion and some people on these boards tell you to give your child up for adoption. I too like your boyfriend am adopted my mother had me in a magdalin laundry 40 years ago in Ireland ( where I live) this is one reason why I could not abort and it is ilegal in Ireland. While I think abortion / adoption works for some people, like you its not for me. As a fellow adopted person I am sure your ex boyfriend will not let this go forever maybe he is running scared like most men but when your adopted biological family is important. That is my opinon but god who knows with men. And also if you would want him around after leaving you with no support at all in another story. Sorry to hear you have been so ill which makes things even more lonely I was ill just for two weeks and I felt so alone so I can guess how you have been feeling but in the end it will be worth it when you have your beautiful baby.What is your due date ? Peace and Love Peace and love Gina


bmorebabe - November 4

Gina-It is kind of a relief to hear a response about my story from someone else who is adopted I also believed that with him being adopted it might be an incentive for him to at least be curious about his child which he has no clue is even a girl. Right now I have less than 4 weeks to go and the past few weeks since I have found this board have seemed to have flown by I dont think that I would be able to make it without the advice and encouragement that I have recieved from the people on this board I know that some people are just not understanding of what women like us go through to get by financially and emotionally without the support of the men that have the same amount of part in us becoming pregnant than we do and I dont understand how some people can try to put all of the blame on the woman knowing that the decision to have unprotected s_x is something that both must agree on. I just went to the doctors today and he said that he wants to check the growth of the baby to see if she is an ok weight to turn her because she is still breech. My due date is 12/01/04 but I really think that the baby will be here sooner than that because of the diabetes, they raise my insulin almost every time that I go to the doctors now and I go every week. Best wishes to you and I sincerely hope that everything works out for the best for you.



You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?