Should I Leave

6 Replies
stef - May 9

I have a 6 month old baby and i feel like i am also raising my 23 year old fiance. He acts like a teenager, going out and hanging out with a bunch of 17 and 18 year old guys while i am at home with our daughter. He doesn't help me with her and he thinks that because i stay at home that i don't do anything except watch tv all day. I feel like he has been hiding stuff from me and i don't know what to think about trusting him anymore even though i have no actual hard proof of anything. It is just this feeling i have. We fight all the time and last night i told him i didn't think we should get married. I have given him tons of opportunities to say something and he just shuts down and puts up this wall. He won't even look me in the eye when i try to talk to him about stuff. I am so tired and hurt but i don't want to give up. I am fighting so hard to keep this going but i am losing steam quickly and don't think i can take much more without some severe changes and i don't think he takes me seriously. Also, my period is 2 1/2 weeks late and i am afraid that i am pregnant again. I don't know what to do and i seriously need some advice ASAP


?? - May 9

wow, i think u should lose him and telll him just to be arnd for ur daughter, if he can even do that? a reltionship right now he seems so immature, u need to have aserious talk w/ him and give him areality chk about his behaviour. just focus on u and ur baby girl, as for being preg. agai i personally would have an abortion, but thats up to you. best of luck stay strong.


April - May 10

Bottom line.... if you're not happy... leave. Your daughter will be able to sense your unhappiness and that's not good for her. I've recently read a book called "when God writes your love story" and even if you're not religious I think it's a good read because it shows you that there ARE good guys out there, and it really showed me that I shouldn't settle for just anything. Especially with marriage. I don't want to ever get divorced so I had better make sure the guy I marry is what I want for the rest of my life. Do you want your situation to continue for the rest of your life? Do you see him changing? Also, sometimes you have to leave before the guy will open his eyes. He may not take you seriously because he doesn't think you'll leave. Also, people don't realize what they have until it's gone. So if I were you I would get a plan to leave, then try to talk to him about it one more time, tell him that you are SERIOUSLY going to leave SOON if things don't change, and if they don't change... LEAVE. Chances are that will wake him up, and it will light a fire under his b___t to change, and if it doesn't, then you'll find better.


Marie - May 13

I know how you feel! my boyfriend is the same way. We have a 21/2 year old son together and I'm a stay at home mom.He thinks that all I do is stay at home and watch tv.Ive been wanting another baby but he said no because it will give me 5 more years of doing nothing.Like raising our child is doing nothing! Thats one of the hardest job's Ive ever had. He also does nothing for our son He spinds 100's of hours playing vido game's Any free time he get's thats what he does. He also told me that if I didnt give him more s_x he would go find it some where else. That was a couple of months ago,but now he doesnt ever want to have s_x with me. He say's it's because he doesnt feel like it but he has never NEVER been like that befor. When I ask him about it he gets all defencive and try's to convince me that nothing is going on.Does that sound weard to any one? I dont know if I should leve him or not weve been together for 4 years and thers also our son to think about so im not shoure what to do eather.


April - May 14

Marie... I hate to say this... but from what you said in your post, it sounds like your boyfriend did find it somewhere else. Based on my experience with cheating guys (I dated a guy for 2 years who cheated on me the entire time but I was too stupid to leave him) he's showing a lot of the signs of a cheater. Not wanting s_x anymore, getting defensive (especially!), and the fact that he thinks he needs to convince you that nothing's wrong... are BIG signs... now.. if he starts getting really jealous or accusing YOU of cheating... then I would say he is... because if they don't trust themselves.. they won't trust you either. Be careful... cause that's how faithful people get STD's... and here's a scary fact... 1 in 4 people have an STD... so if he sleeps with someone who has one.. and then sleeps with you... well you know what can happen...


April - May 14

Stef... you said you're having a feeling that something is going on.. TRUST YOUR FEELINGS... that is the best advice anyone can ever give you. Your gut doesn't lie. I used to have a boyfriend who cheated on me... and every time I would have a dream that he cheated on me I would find out within the next week that he did. My gut has never lied to me before and most people's don't either. So if you have a feeling... trust it. (but make sure it's coming from your gut.. not your head)


Marie - May 14

April...... Thank you so much for you're advice! I'm going to be keeping close tabs on him for now on.I dont think I could take it if he was cheating on me so I like to think he's not. But to protect my baby I will do what ever it takes even if it meens leaving his dad. He hasnt accused me of cheating yet but I'll look out for it. If you have any other advice I would gladly take it! thank you!!!!!



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