Single Parent Advice

15 Replies
t - June 16

i'm probably going to end up a single mom, can any ladies out there give me some advice and some encouraging words? i really need them right now. i need to be told that i can make it and i will be fine alone. thanks


Steph - June 16

Being a single parent is hard work, but it is totally doable. I was a single parent until my daughter was three and a half. It is difficult, stressfull, fullfilling, and wonderful all at the same time. It takes awhile to get used to taking care of a child, but once you get your schedule down and know what you're doing, it gets much easier. One of my favourite things about being a single mom, was I made all the rules. It was nice after she would go to bed at night, that I could sit down and watch tv, clean, go to bed, and do what ever I wanted to, without having someone always around. I met my husband when my daughter was three and a half, and got married when she was five. She's going to be seven next month. This may sound harsh, but don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself, and do the best you can! You will be able to do it, and when you look at your child (with tons of pride) know that your child is a product of all your work, love, time, and compa__sion. You can do it, and GOOD LUCK to you!!!!


April - June 18

Well if it helps any you're definitely not alone. My boyfriend broke up with me when I was 4 months pregnant... I'm now 36 weeks, and in another month I'll be a single mom. I'm so excited though. My daughter will be all I need, and I have lots of supportive friends and family so I'm not scared about it at all. My mom was a single mom before she married my dad, and she did great at it. Plus thousands of women do it every day (sad to say), so if they can do it, we can too.


t - June 18

it's hard because i'm stationed overseas and all my real support is back in the states. the father doesnt have time nor the $ to come and see his son be born(but he's vacationing in Mexico, what a jerk) and help out so i have to do it alone for awhile. yeah i have some people here but they have their own lives and families so it'll be hard for them to help. i feel so betrayed by the person that "LOVED" me. thanks for the replys. Steph, how hard was it finding someone new? i'm so afraid that i'm going to be alone forever and that no one will want me when i have a baby. i know that right now i need to focus on living and preparing for my baby but i still wonder about the future. i do want to be loved and married someday and i'm scared that i'm not going to. thank you in advance.


Steph to T - June 19

Trust me, you will not be alone forever. I had exactly the same feelings and thought that no one would want me because I was a single mother. It took me (after dating about 4-5 losers) to find my hubby. Being a single parent, you are very picky in who you want around your child and the kind of person that they are. The guys that I had dated before I met my hubby were okay, but I could tell they were not what I was looking for in a man/father figure. When my daughter was born, and for the first few years of her life, I was not looking for someone because I was waaayyyy to busy working part time, going to school full time, and being a single parent. One I graduated college, I was a bit more focused on looking for someone. Once I quit looking, (cliche, I know) I found him. Or, we found each other. :o) Good luck to you and your new baby!!


t - June 19

so your husband was totally open to you having a child? how old were you when you had your baby? i'm 22 and worried that guys my age are going to be too immature to accept the fact that i come as a package. i'm not looking for a father or someone to play daddy, and i'm sure you werent either, i just hope that guys realize that. yea he has to accept my child or there's no need to talk to them but i'm scared that they might try to accept me and want me just not my baby. what was your situation like while you were pregnant? was the father supportive at all or did he leave just like my ex is trying to do? it's hard trying to get through a break up but also grasp the fact that i'm going to be a mommy. for awhile i wasnt happy about my pregnancy becasue it was so unplanned and caused/ is causing so much stress in my life. it's not my baby causing me stress but my ex and him not accepting responsibility, trying to force me into an abortion, and saying i ruined his life. i dont blame my child for what happend, if anything i'm grateful because it shows me the person he truely is and that i cant count on him when i need him. yea we were GREAT before but that was then and this is now. it's still hard but i'm getting more excited as the time goes by. i think if i were to have more support from him then things would be much easier. now i count on my family and my friends to give me all the support that i need. if it werent for them i think i would go crazy!! everyone keeps telling me that all the hurt feelings, negativity, and drama that i've been through will go away as soon as i see and hold my baby. is that true? my mom says that i'll be so happy and will want nothing more than to love my baby, that he'll be the only man that i need and the only one that will make me happy. i believe it but i still have doubts. is all of that true? i know that i dont and wont regret my baby when he comes but i'm scared of not having those motherly instincts too!! sorry to babble on about my random crazy thoughts but i have to get them out. this really helps me feels better. thank you again for the reply! T


April - June 19

don't worry about being single forever.... I'm 23... 36 weeks pregnant... and STILL have guys asking me out.. haha... think of it this way... your baby will weed out some of the jerks that you don't want in your life anyway. When I first got pregnant I was worried about the same thing. I thought no guy would ever want a single mom. I was wrong. I'm not interested in dating right now, but I've had offers.. .big belly and all. You'd be surprised the number of guys who love kids, and some day... when you're not looking (just as Steph said) the perfect guy for you will come along and he will love your child as his own... don't worry.


heatherRN - June 19

Girl you are SO NOT ALONE! My fiancé told me to beat it when I was 5 months pregnant. We were together for 3 years, engaged, and owned a house. He flipped out! I had to move 500 miles away, quit my job, and load all my stuff in a U-haul in 2 days while he went to party in Vegas with friends. He goes out almost everynight now, and has a new girlfriend. I'm now 7 1/2 months pregnant and he only calls me when he wants to talk to me about our house settlement issues. He sucks! He's never bought the baby one thing, or has even asked about her. You can do this by yourself! You will be amazed who REALLY cares about you during these times! People that were more like acquaintances have become closer friends, and some like the babies father have become total strangers. Lean on people that offer their support to you when you need it. That is a true friend. Don't forget about family, even if you aren't that close. This event in your life may bring you closer to your family than you ever thought. I have an aunt who has been distant for many years, and when she found out about me having to leave my home immediately, she took a plane to my city and helped me move and pack the U-haul. She has been a life saver. You are stronger than you think, and you have such a precious gift, your child, that will be blessing your life soon. You will get stronger the more time goes on. I still have my bad days too, but the joys I will feel of being a mom to my daughter will replace my sorrow and sadness soon. This I know for sure. The answer is not to look for a man to make you feel better, work on yourself! The best gift that you can give your new baby is to have confidence and work on YOU! Eat right, take pride in you appearance, be a terrific, loving and confident mom/ woman. IIt will take time, but FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT! Even if you don't feel strong one day, carry yourself in a confident manor, and you will FEEL confident. The best revenge on men who burn us is looking good, and being successful! Keep your head up and stay strong, that little baby is counting on you! GOOD LUCK!


Sarah - June 20

Oh my god so im not the only one who is really scared about being a single parent. I was engaged to the father of my child and we were getting married next year but i suddenly just realised i didnt love him and was still in love with my ex. Im sure me and my ex would of got back together but 3 weeks after my split with fiance found out of was pregnant he doesnt want to know and now im all alone. I had allot of people telling me to abort my baby as life as a single parent would be awful there is NO WAY i was going to do that as even though baby not here until dec i just know i will love him/her with all my heart men or no men. I dont care how hard it will be i know i will be so proud.


unsure - June 24

how do you find the strength to let him go and move on as a single mom? wasnt it hard to get over and trust that you will be ok?


April - June 24

unsure... you just have to gain a positive outlook. I won't lie.. it's hard. But, only at first. It's been 5 months since my ex broke up with me, and even though I was really hurt at first, I wouldn't take him back now even if he cried and begged me to. I'm so proud of myself :) So you just have to go into it knowing that time heals all pain (cause it does!) and you will be fine without him (cause you will!) and that everything will eventually work out for the best (because it will!) I believe that 100%


??? - June 27

Any other advice?


Sydney - June 29

Hey guys.....props to you all! I am 15 weeks pregnant...livin it up single! It's depressing sometimes...definately throw in some lonley nights...but i truly believe that in the end everything will work out. Having this child will DEFINATELY be a life altering experience!


BBC - July 7

when does it get easier getting over him? it's been 3 months and i lose it and get sad everytime i talk to him. why cant he love me and want to be with me especially after i found out i was pregnant. everything was great up until then. i do want him in my life, why cant he see the loving person i use to be in his eyes? is it because i got pregnant?


April - July 7

BBC... what you need to do is stop thinking about him not loving you and start thinking about what an idiot he is... what kind of a guy leaves his pregnant girlfriend?? My ex made it REAL easy for me to get over him because he's a complete jackarse... think about all the c___p your ex's done to you (NOT the good times!)... it really helps.


Sydney - July 8

So i'm basically concluding here....that WE are all pretty scared of being alone....-alone during the pregnancy, after the pregnancy....One great thing about our pregnancies is that after we have our baby we can weed out THESE losers a lot easier than someone who doesnt have a child. It's going to take a good man to accept & love us as well as our child---so we dont have to waste our time on those "superficial" in a sense, we are fortunate!



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