Some Help Please

4 Replies
scared - November 21

I am 39 weeks pregnant and me and my boyfried have been broke up since i was 4months along. He hasn't supported me in any way, he hasn't help me buy anything for the baby at all. And he pretty much hasn't even cared up untill now, hes telling me he wants joint custody. he said he wants to have the baby for one week, and then i'll have him for one week. But up untill now, this pregnancy was going to be me and my baby. I dont think i can deal without him for a week. Plus i was planning on br___tfeeding, and i dont think i can do that if he is at his fathers for a week. I really think he's just doing this to get out of paying child support.He told me when I found out i was pregnant to give the baby up for adoption. So i dont see why he is changing his mind now. Please, I really need help with this, i'm am so scared. I really feel like my baby should be with me. I know that sounds selfish, but i cant help it. Please someone tell me if my baby's father can really do this.


bmorebabe - November 22

There was an article about this in the issue of ePregnancy for November 2004 it states and I quote "Typically, mothers are allowed physical custody of newborn babies, while fathers are granted visitation based on a variety of factors. " Then it goes on to state that "Many psychologists and child development experts are wary of granting long periods of visitation, or overnight visits, away from the primary caregiverduring the newborn stage. This reasoning due to attachment theory, which a__serts that infants create a strong bond with their primary caregiver and that disruption of this bond can be detremental to the baby's development.And if you plan to b___stfeed, long visits with Dad might not be possible right from the start. " This is a very helpful article if you can get your hands on it they do have a website I tried to put the most important points in this post but if you have any more questions let me know. I hope that reading this helps you ease your mind, dont stress b/c you are stressing the baby too. Talk to a lawyer if you think you need to some lawyers will talk to you initally for free to give advise. Good luck to you ytou are in my prayers.


scared - November 22

Thank you so much, just reading your info took so much stress off my back. I found a number to a lawyer line, and i guess on Tuesday nights they answers your questions for free. So tomorrow I will call them... But thank you again.


bmorebabe - November 22

You are so welcome I found this article by chance it was called On Our Own: How do you negotiate custody rights and child support when you're single and pregnant? Some doctors offices offer complimentary copies of this magazine so look for it at your next appt. Once again Good Luck!!


Christine - November 24

Scared...I went through this situation with my second daughter...the father left me when I told him I was pregnant...I couldnt blame him since we were only together a short time...He wanted me to have an abortion but I dont believe in them so that was out...anyway I heard from him about 3 times throughout the first 8 months...each time it was I want to be there blah blah blah..but that would be the only time I heard from him for a few months, then about 3 weeks before my due date I took him back figuring well let me try to make this work since I have two kids now...and the father of my other daughter does absolutely we were together until she was about 3 months old...I found him lying and such so I left him...When I took him to court for custody he tried to fight me for split...his own lawyer laughed at him...that was funny...he had some other stuff going on as well...and did not do much for her after we broke anyways he got two days a week for a few hours each day(which he still has yet to abide) and that was close to 4 yrs ago...the judge almost always side with the mother, unless the father or someone else proves her least here in New York...You will be fine..and as you read a newborn you have that option to b___stfeed which will play a role as well considering it is fact that b___stfeeding is healthier for the infant...anyways I'm almost 100% positive that you will be ok...he wont be able to do that



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