Trying To Get Over Him

4 Replies
AKC - December 3

Well, I (33yo) am 9 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend (now ex who is 35) broke up with me a week after we found out (at 6 weeks). We were together for almost 2 years, and our relationship was on the rocky side at the moment. He and I have broken up and gotten back together so many times. Well, I talked to him a couple of weeks ago, to inform him of my decision to keep the baby, and he kept saying over and over that it is a bad decision and such, and then had the nerve to call my Father to ask that he talk me into an abortion (to his surprise - my Father is against abortion; and he told him that it is between him and me). Well, after that I didn't hear from him. Then I went to get my stuff from his house, and he acted a little weird, but none the less the same as when we were together. He said while I was there that he still needed time to absorb all of this. I don't know what is meant by that. He still says that he loves me. But, I don't trust his love for me for putting me through this agony. It is hard, one day I hate him, and the next I miss him like crazy. Also, he has been separated from his ex for 5 years, and he has custody of his 2 children with her (11 & 7), and I have custody of my daughter(10 ). I guess I want to know, is there anyone out there that has been in my situation and the outcome of it be good or bad... Sometimes I do want him back, but only for the right reasons. I know that I shouldn't want him back, but I do.... Anyone out there with a happy ending? Need advice!!! I feel very lost and alone.


Sad Girl - December 3

Hey, im not in the same exact situation as you but do understand you. I posted my story under "What do you guys think?". Anyhow i am 34 weeks pregnant and during my whole pregnancy my bf has been weird, u know some days hes kool with me and other days he just snaps u know, i dont know hes weird. He did tell me hes gonna be there for the baby, but i guess not for me and it sucks, he says hes like this because its not something he expected to happen u know, and he says he feels like because of this he is being forced to settle down and commit and doesnt want to do that just yet, (he's 24, im 20), which im okay with cuz i dont want to settle down either just yet. But still i wish he was more considerate of how im feeling. Well we'renot together anymore, i told him id call him when the baby is born. Broke up for that reason for other reasons i had. My advice to you is to just hang in there, try not to stress yourself about it so much, just think about how u have this beautiful baby growing inside u,, good luck, and take care.


ray - December 4

sheila- I'm happy for you that you're man came back. I hope mine will. I'm not upset about being pregnant, in fact every day that goes by I get more excited, by I have a broken heart. I really loved him and everything was really going so well until I got pregnant and he completely pulled an about face. He pleaded with me to have an abortion and I've told him I'm 28, I've had two abortions already in my earlt twenties and I just can't go through it again. He said I was being selfish. Of course I will have this baby, but it really hurts to lose him.


Anne - December 5

I am in a very similar situation. My boyfriend and I had been up and down since I moved away for work. I found out I was pregnant and a week later we broke up. I miss him to, and somedays I hate him and hope I never see him again (although I am moving back to the city we are both from) and then other times all I want to do is be in his arms. I am nine weeks pregnant as well. He at first was so happy about the baby, but when I proposed the idea that we should work on our relationship to try and make this work together, well he must have gotten scared and then suggested we have an abortion. I just couldn't do that. He told me in an argument that I took a decision that was "ours" and turned it into mine- which means it wasn't my place to decided. He att_tude has slightly changed since, now he is happy that the baby is coming. When I went home for thanksgiving, I wanted to show him the ultrasound and he could hardly make time. He is divorced with three children that he only sees every other weekend. What I don't understand is that he has the chance to be in this childs life full time, but that would mean an obvious commitment. Until this point all he told me was how much he loves me and how he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. It was like things became to real. I don't know what to do either. I stopped calling him as of thursday (i know that sounds stupid, but we talk multiple times a day) so it has been two days and I shut off my cell phone so I won't look to see if he calls. I don't know what to do. If you get any real advice let me know or email me([email protected]) or something. I feel so alone to why. I don't want to be a single mother. I want to share this with him. I don't want to be parents in separate locations who date or marry other people. Help anyone


AKC - December 6

Thanks for all of your replies. It was an extremely long and emotional weekend. I am getting really tired of this emotional roller coaster that I am on. I went to my cousins wedding Saturday, and well, it was really hard being there. It really depressed me (not that I'm not happy for my cousing), but the things that were said by the preacher, and the bride and groom - really made me miss my ex. I wish that I could do what they did in that Jim Carey movie where they erase your memory of your ex, lol.... Well, I am sorry to hear that I'm not the only one going through this. I talked to him on Friday, and he was cold and distant. We discussed exchanging the things that he has at my house this weekend. He said somethings, that normally wouldn't anger me, but you know those emotions.... Well, later that night I ended up calling his wife (her and I would normally talk about their kids and stuff)... so, I called her and she wasn't at home, and ended up talking to her mother. She had no clue about the baby, and that we had broken up ( I know that I was wrong in doing this - but, I couldn't help myself).. And, of course, like I figured, he is dragging this out for him to get his stuff. He is stuck on the "me trapping him" syndrome... and I wish that he would come terms with this and take responsibility for his actions instead of playing the blame game... thanks everyone for reading and responding. You guys are very courageous.



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